Super Values

Super Values by Ajahn Brahm

The topic of the talk this evening is a one way, one attitude for solving many of the problems which we have in life, and that's reorienting our value system to give value to some of the things which who really are worthwhile, and not valuing those things which are less important in our life. And I've had a very interesting week, as usual, as a mark. Anyone who thinks being a monk is boring doesn't know what a fascinating, interesting, and eccentric life you do live as a as a monk. And just this evening, I got the, uh, the final bill for our retreat center, which is about $160,000 more than expected. And that would actually usually make you crazy, brother. So. They'll still be there. The bank won't sort of repossess it, but nevertheless, you know, you think, well, why worry about something like that? It's more important that you've valued is the beauty of the place and the peace of your mind. So why is it that so often that people put so much value on things like dollars and cents, rather than on other things which are far more important in life? I know that sometimes that people commit suicide if they go on a bill like that, but as for me, I committed suicide 35 years ago when I became a monk. I killed off my desire. And once you get a better value system. And sometimes people thought you were crazy. Why are you a monk? You know, why aren't you sort of going out, enjoying yourself, having sex, watching the footy, cutting up movies? But really, what is really valuable in life? So I made a choice for many years ago, 30, 30, to re-orient what I thought was really important and to follow what was important and let go of the other things which were of far less importance. And the other interesting things I've been doing last week is, uh, just had a totally inter-religious day last Wednesday, starting off with a meeting of the religious leaders in the archbishop, the Anglican Archbishops House, uh, over in West Perth, where we were meeting with the editor of the Western Australian, West Australian, who wanted to have more religious input into his newspaper and wanted the leaders of the religions to come and give him some feedback and to get us some meeting together. So how we could actually do this. And there you have, you know, the different religions in our world, which for centuries have been fighting each other and declaring wars and jihad and crusades against each other, just working together as followed in the afternoon by our annual visit up to the Benedictine monastery and Unesco. And really, you just wouldn't believe, I don't think anyone here who hasn't seen just the way we relate together as monks who think we are the same monastery, just how friendly we are towards one another. And often you come back from those meetings. Why? Why is it that people who have totally different religions coming from different cultures? Why is it that we can have such amazing friendship? And on reflection, on the way journey back? It's because we value something which is far more important than the words which are in the books, or the title of those books. Why on earth are you fighting over a Bible? Of a Koran? Of a Dhammapada? Or why are you fighting over these things? Is that really important? And of course, it's not important. What's really more important in our life is our peace and our friendship. And because we don't argue and because we can work together and we can influence something like the Western Australian newspaper, we can influence other people to live much better lives. Simply because we are showing is like leaders of religion, so we can work in harmony, that we can be friends and sincere friends. We can work together and get on. I've often said if our leaders can't work together, if our leaders can't get on, then what right have we to sit in seats like this and teach you how to live in harmony together? Really, the way we do this, the way I've done it, is to make sure what's really valuable is not who's right or who's got the best religion. What's more important is not who's got the best beliefs, but who's got the best heart. And the best heart is shown when you can sort of respect another person, even if you got ideas, which I think are crazy. It doesn't matter. They've got beautiful hearts and that is more important to me. As long as you value what's really valuable and you put aside those things which aren't so valuable, then you can have peace and harmony. So we did this. We continue to do this, you know, in all these meetings we have together. And we asked you to do this. And I can say this because we're not being hypocritical, saying this by our practice and by our lifestyle. We asked each one of you to learn how to be more harmonious in your marriage. Talk about a jihad. There's more holy wars happening around the breakfast table and dinner table than in any field of battle. Now, why is it that you know, my husbands and wives have arguments, and a lot of times is because you are valuing the wrong things? Your valuing being right. Being controlled. Calling the shots. Whether it's fair or whether it's not fair. That really what's valuable in life? Or is it more valuable that as the husband and wife, you can learn how to cooperate, be at peace and forgive one another? Let the past go. Isn't that more valuable? You know that that's a part of spiritual progress. To let the past be. I know sometimes people always like to dig out the past. And a lot of times, as I said before, when you dig out the past, what do you dig up? The mistakes, the faults, the errors, everything which went wrong. If you keep digging up that type of past, you don't get much progress. If you really want to learn from the past, dig up all the happy, wonderful, beautiful experiences you've shared together. Dig up the positive stuff. Because as I talked to many, uh, CEOs. If you start thinking of all the mistakes, all the problems you share together as a couple and all the difficulty, the terrible things he's done are things she hasn't done, which she should have done. What happens? You don't actually gain progress by digging over the shit of the past. Well, you do get progress if you remember all the things which went well. Because number one, that motivates and encourages you and inspires and uplifts you when you start thinking of all the wonderful times you've had together and why, there were wonderful times. When you think of why there are wonderful times, that's when you learn what makes life worth and where happiness comes from. And when do you learn from what I call the successes of the past, the things which go right in your life, in your personal life, in your spiritual life, in your life as a community person. If you remember what goes right in life, you repeat that. I call that as a simile. You've got a choice in life. Are you going to water the weeds or water the flowers? If you water the weeds and your weeds grow, you water the flowers, the flowers grow. You do not actually pick out the weeds. Just don't water them. What are the flowers? And then the flowers sort of choke the weeds because the weeds have got no strength. They've got no water. Now, what I mean by that simile should be pretty obvious. When you water, pay attention to the wonderful things you've had together, and when you value those more than the mistakes you pay attention to those those successful qualities grow inside of you. And they grow in your family. I always focusing on the successes, what works and is also what happens in you. What do you value in yourself when you look at the past? In other words, what do you think about the mistakes, what went wrong, or the terrible things you did? We had a little discussion there. Uh, in the was in the car today, and I just actually when we came here because I went to give a talk on Radio Free Air this morning, and so I came back early and, uh, having, you know what, fish and chips. Because just around the corner here, I missed my meal. So I had a fish and chips just in time and talking with, uh, the caretaker and the driver. We started on this conversation. What's the worst thing you ever did as a kid? The naughtiest thing you ever did. And I remember, you know what? The naughtiest thing I ever did as a kid. I was completely off the subject, but I was a ten year old kid, and one of my best mates was like this chemistry whiz, and he actually looked the part. He was tall, had his round glasses, looked like, you know, like what we'd call like a proto geek. But, you know, he didn't know about it. He knew all about chemistry. And so I said, you know how to make a bomb. I said, yeah, I can do that. Oh, great. And I supplied the tin can. And we were I was implicated. So we went into the park, ten year olds and he mixed all this stuff together. He lit it anyway. Bang. And I thought that was such an amazing thing to do to make something go back. Now, if I didn't become a monk, I'd have made a great terrorist. But. I was only a ten year old kid. But we got caught by the local park. You go to the big trouble. That's a glorious thing. Which I did in the past. But I looked back upon that, and I looked at it with a bit of laughter and a bit of fun, because, you know, it's a bit of a dangerous, stupid thing to do. But I also remember all the happy things of my childhood, and I'm sure there were many unhappy things as well of my childhood, but I don't know, because I've been a man, I've learned how to cultivate the happy moments. And when you cultivate the happy moments, it inspires you, gives you a lot of fun and joy. And also, it means that you learn the secret of how to make more happiness, more peace. And I value those things more than all the mistakes and the stupid things, because I do that in my own life. I don't have this sense of lack of self-esteem. You don't feel bad about yourself. You don't get into guilt trips. Why do people get into Gilchrist's? What's wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with you. You're quite a fine human being, a beautiful human being. But if you keep remembering all the thoughts and bad things you did, if you value those, if you think they're really important and need to be fixed up, you're not going to have high self-esteem at all. You can get depressed and miserable. So start changing your value system. Value the beauty in life. Value the beauty in your own life. Value the beauty in your partner. Value them. If you value that and let go of all this, this other stuff. You know the negative stuff. Don't give that importance. You will find your relationship gets much more important and much more successful and more harmonious and more. Helpful to other people in life. In the same way, when I met with all these other religious leaders. We did think about the differences and the rotten things which they may have done to us in the past. You don't think like that. You just respect what worthy respect you value. And then you have harmony, and then you have progress. And then you can have a far better world, because people actually focus too much on the problems of life and the difficulties, and that makes people very angry. Someone asked me about that. Anger is a huge problem and it is a habit for people. But why do people get angry anyway? Is it really important to be angry? Many people think, yeah, they call it like righteous anger, justified rage. But you know why you do that sort of stuff? It's completely stupid getting angry as far as I'm concerned. Why allow other people to upset you? Especially that terrible person? And they sort of say something or do something to you, and you just buy it to it and allow them to make you angry. And they're very, very happy. Where to get enraged because they've won. So I always say, if someone's going to call me an idiot, a fool, whatever they're going to say, they can say it and I'm not going to get angry. One of my favorite stories comes to mind, though, how I tell these stories. Maybe it's because it's an interfaith story. I know from one of the Catholic religions, which are groups of monks. I really respected the Franciscans, and this was a story from the time of Saint Francis. He had one of the monks in his monastery. I love this story because I can really relate to this. And the monks in their time of Saint Francis, they would also be like us Buddhist monks. They would go no begging in the morning for their food. So this no man went begging for his food and and he came along. Another person who was begging like a layperson. And this layperson actually said, can I have something from you? And the monk said, I'm a man. I haven't got anything. I'm begging as well. I don't have any money. They never had money in those days, and they begged for their food, just like we do. I don't have anything. And this poor man was in rags and said, look, you got a nice robe. Give me that. And a monk. Actually, he was such a kind, compassionate, selfless person, I think. Wow. Guy's got a point. You know, his rags are much worse than my robe. Okay, you can have my robe. So that's how generous the man was. Actually gave him his robe. And so he had nothing else to wear. He was naked. So he went back to the monastery. And as soon as he came in the door of the monastery, they chased him out. We don't have any perverts in here. He said, I'm not a pervert. I'm a monk. Can't you remember me? And just because of his snow. Is that the way he spoke? Because of his face? Actually, they recognized him saying. My goodness. Have you been robbed? Have you been attacked? Come inside. And then he said, I haven't been attacked. I haven't been robbed. I met a very poor man. He had nothing. And he asked for my robe. And I thought, as a spiritual person, why not? And I gave him my robe. That's why I'm now naked. That's wonderful. How would you do that? Maybe not this weather, maybe in the summertime to go with that one. But that's that's how good it was. And so all the other monks were very inspired. Now that's a real man. That's like somebody who doesn't just preach but actually practices. You know what they preach. So great. Come inside and the storm and got him another robe. But you know, these beggars, they they all know each other. And the word got around that this monk was a bit soft in the head and a sort of a nice, easy target. So the next day was another big, actually waiting for him. You know, probably just borrowed the the rags from the first beggar. Oh, well, I'm so poor. Can you give me something? And monk said, look, I'm a beggar too. I'm going to say, but you've got your robe. So the second day you came back to the monastery without a robot. And I thought, okay, very good. You're very generous, you know. But don't be too stupid. In the third day of the fourth day, after about the fifth day, coming back naked because they're all taking him for granted. It was all a big scam. Abbot, come into my office. And the abbot should have blasted him and scolded him. He said, it's very good to be charitable, but we've only got so many robes in the store and it's come from our supporters. They haven't got so much money and they're giving away these robes left, right and centre. They're taken advantage of you. And he really scolded his mother. Now, if that was you being scolded, would you get angry back? Because this isn't what a good person is supposed to do. But he'd be kind to be charitable. And this monk is such a great monkey. Just put his head down. And he never complained at all. He never tried to justify himself. He never said no, that you're not arguing at me and scolding me unfairly. He just took it just right. And that's how he should take the scolding from your husband. Put your head down. Can you do that? Put your head down. Just starting and starting up your way. For the best part of it was after the hours scolding was finished and the abbot really thought he'd taught this man a lesson. You can go now. That's the job of being an abbot. You've got to teach your monks and make sure that you condition them to do the right thing. So this particular abbot thought a scolding would teach this monk to be a bit more. More careful of these monks possessions. So the monk went away and the abbot thought, okay, I've sorted that problem out. About half an hour later, the man was back knocking on the door with a cup of soup. And the monks. Here, Abbot, this cup of soup is for you. Why? What was going on? He's got poisoning or something. Oh, no no no, no, he said you've been shouting at me for over an hour. I thought you must have a sore throat. And he wasn't being sarcastic. If you did that with your husband or your wife, that'd be sarcasm. But he was actually genuine the whole time he was being scolded. All this monk was speaking of was not of himself or what it was. Why was his wrong thing? This poor man who was shouting so much at me. He must be having a very sore throat. So the first thing he did when he left was to boil up some water, make some soup, and giving it to this abbot and the abbot said, monks like you we can do nothing about. Here's the keys to the storeroom. Give everything away if you want. They just like a really good person. I love that story because that's where you can sometimes find a spark. But please, this evening, don't ask me for my robe. You've got more cloths than rags. But that was a beautiful way of responding to anger. And instead of getting upset back, you just had so much compassion for the person who's getting angry at him. It didn't matter. It's a beautiful way to live because he valued hair care for the other person much more than anything else. It's another little piece of advice which I've given to many, many of you. You may be parents. You may be her nurses, therapists, and others. A lot of therapists who come here for tips on how to run their businesses and look after their clients. But I saw many doctors, nurses, anyone in the so-called caring profession. And this goes for parents as well. Sometimes you may have your son and daughter who's injured. And you just will have to take their pain away. You'll have to take their injury. Whether it's mental problems, emotional difficulties, or just sheer physical pain. You know, you may have a patient in your ward is dying and you just can't do anything about it. I know many people come up and they feel so frustrated. It really hurts them deeply. Why is this happening to that person? Why are they dying? They're so young. They've got so much to live for. Why is it my child going through all of this trauma and problems and they've got all these terrible diseases? And there's an answer. It's a very beautiful answer. It changes the way you look at life. It changes your values as a mother, as a father, as a nurse, a doctor, a therapist. Your main job is not a cure. Your main job is to care, not to change the physical injury, not to take away the disease. Not to take away the terrible predicament your daughter is in. But they care for them. You know that. Something you can always do as a man. You take into this very difficult situations. People dying. People in great pain. People have killed themselves into such a difficult messes in their life. And sometimes you first think of someone. You just can't do anything. They got themselves into this mess and I haven't got the means to get them out again. You don't feel frustrated because that's not my role I can find. But that's not my main purpose. My main purpose is to sit next to a person, listen to them, be with them, and most importantly, to care. And I find that I can always do that no matter what situation a person is in. I may not be able to take away their physical pain or pay off their debts, or know get the emotional turmoil about losing someone they love to magic it away. I can always just sit there and care for them. And that is the most important thing to do. That's why I give that the highest value. To care for someone. I knew when I met the archbishop. Archbishop? Her. I'm not going to convert him to being a Buddhist, but I can care for him. And that was the most important thing to do, to care for one another. If we care for one another. Where is there ever going to be religious disharmony, let alone religious wars? You may not be able to agree with your husband or accept what your wife does, but your job is not to change them. Not job is not to cure them from their idiocy. To care for them. Some day a lady came up and asked a beautiful question. I hope she doesn't mind. Me too. Sharing this question and the answer. She said that she wants to keep the five precepts, but her husband drinks. What should she do? Your job is to care. You may not be able to cure your husband's addiction to alcohol. Not this time, anyway. Because I told her that it's well known. Husbands never listen to wives and vice versa. There's an old joke here comes once over today, in the first year of marriage and the first year of marriage, the husband listens to the wife. In the second year of marriage, the wife distance to the husband, and a third year of marriage. The neighbors listened to both of them. They argue. But. You can't teach that other person. But you can care for them. That caring is the most valuable thing. Why not do that? However, a lot of times people actually lose their priorities and think some things are more important than the other when they're not. When all the problems which you have in life are they really important? Is one story which is relevant here. And it came up in a book which I read a long time ago. I cannot remember the author otherwise. I would quote him and say, thank you for a very beautiful part bin of wisdom. He said he was, I think he was an American, and he was just traveling through Europe as a as a kid, as a, like a teenager, just having some experiences of life. And as a young man and working his way to washing dishes in restaurants and doing sort of chores like that. And he happened to find himself in Vienna. This was about 30 years ago in Vienna, the capital of Austria, and a beautiful place, a beautiful city to visit and to pay his way. He got a job in a restaurant and a washing dishes. And when you get a job in restaurants or little cafes, it's not as obviously that you can actually, um, have some of the food yourself, especially the leftovers at the end of the day. So, you know, you get some money, you don't have to pay for your food. There's always stuff left over at the end of the day from a restaurant or a cafe, instead of trying it in a bid to give it to the workers, they can take it home and eat it. He's only a poor traveler, like a backpacker we call them these days. And so it was a nice little job. So he went to this restaurant and, you know, having a nice time, getting a bit of money, getting free food. But the owner made a mistake in ordering and he ordered a huge amount of sauerkraut. Now the pickled cabbage, cabbage, which is okay in small proportions, but had so much leftover that the owner of the cafe said start from now on. If you want anything to eat sauerkraut, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I don't care if you want anything else to it, you have to pay for it. And this American got really upset. He can't do that to us. This is unfair. This is. And I got very angry that. No you would. And when there was a cook there, this old guy who was a cook. And when the cook saw this young American getting angry, said, come over here, and I'm going to tell you the difference between an irritation and a problem. He said, A few years ago I was in Auschwitz. I was one of those people in the striped pajamas who lived every day, waking up in the morning not knowing if they would go to bed at night. I saw many of my friends and people I loved disappear into the ovens to be killed, never to return. Every day I live like that. That's a problem. Eating sauerkraut for breakfast, lunch and dinner is only the irritation. Remember that. It's a very beautiful story. Many of the things you get upset at a lie. They're not problems. That irritation. Please keep them in perspective. Getting a big bill in the stratosphere from our builder. That's an irritation. It's not a problem. He'll fix it up somewhere other. Having a disagreement about what happened with your partner. Is that a problem, or is it just an irritation? What really are problems in life? So please keep these things in perspective. You lose your job. Is that a problem or really? It's an irritation, isn't it? You get another one later on. You won't starve if you do get hungry. Come to our monastery. Become a monk for a year or two years. We'll feed you. Look how far I get. Living in a monastery, this great lifestyle. So you don't have to worry about things. These are irritations. But you know how sometimes people take these irritations and they blow them out of all proportions? Their value system is stupid. And they worry about it so much it can actually drive them crazy and then get mad. And even worse, they can get angry. And with the people they love, while it's an irritation, let it go for goodness sake. It's not important. It's not a problem. It's an irritation piece. So when you know the difference between irritation and a problem, most of the things you're arguing about in life. Most of the things which you feel bad about yourself. Most of the things which are the cause that shouting, getting angry at other people are just irritation. They're not real problems. They just let it go. What's more important is the peace and harmony which we have together, especially as husband and wife. You're going to be examples to your children. They're going to look at you and see how you behave. And if you behave well with wisdom, with kindness, with a good value system, then it's likely your kids are going to learn how to live together with other people. And in this world, which is multi-faith, multi-religious, where people are living on top of each other, as the world gets smaller, as people get bigger, we have to learn harmony. It's important, isn't it? It is the most valuable thing. There's other things more valuable than harmony. And I think one of the most valuable things of life is peace. So why do we always sacrifice peace by rushing around trying to go somewhere else? Do you have a weekend start of the weekend? How are you going to spend your weekend rushing around doing things or having a bit of peace? Why is it that people do so much? You do so much. Or like I said, it's on radio. Why is it that people rush around doing so much? What are you trying to get to anyway? The only one place you're going? I said in Fremantle and that's in Carrington Road. It's called Fremantle Cemetery. So whenever you say, well, I'm getting there, I'm getting there. That's actually where you're getting. There. For goodness sake, have a pause on the journey and find some peace in your life. As the old joke goes. Where in Perth are the only places you find people resting in peace? Where do they rest? In peace? There's only a few places. Fremantle cemetery. Karrakatta cemetery. Pinnaroo cemetery. And also. Our monastery. There we rest in peace. And on the weekend. And it's true, isn't it? Can't you rest in peace? Why not? Because other things are more important, aren't they? The garden is more important. The movie is more important. The footy is more important. The cricket is more important. Look, if we have our value systems like that, you'll never have any peace in your life whatsoever. You'll end up just running throughout your whole life trying to get somewhere, not realising that really the only place you were getting was your coffee and you've just messed up your whole life and you have to come here again and try and learn how to do much better next time. And you probably make the same mistake. So what's most important in life? Give yourself a bit of peace. Isn't that what holidays are like? Long weekends? Vacations. What do people do in vacations? Tie themselves out. A lot of years, you probably just be in the Sri Lanka. Have a holiday. Glad to be back. Tired out. Will you go to Bali or you go to Thailand? You go to Malaysia. What do you do that for? Sometimes I crack that joke a long time ago about meditation retreats being Club Med, you know, club meditation. And actually I saw that in the newspaper. Even someone stole that for me. That was an original legend, bro. And I see somebody once told me, actually, what actually happens in Club Med. If you go into holiday in these Club Med kit number one, it costs you a huge amount of money and every minute in the day it is something to do. Scuba diving, whitewater rafting, sort of lunches, dinners, afternoon teas. She must really tire you out. And in the evening discos all night. She don't get any rest at all. It's like a torture camp. I might get sued by the owners of club men, but for me, I should go on a holiday. You don't want to relax. Now, the point of me telling this is why can't people relax? Because to them, it's not so important. It's getting things done. For most of us, the most valuable thing is finishing off the letters, the emails, the work in the house and doing all this stuff. We give that more value than anything else. Some people even give their work and their salary more value than their home life. The kids. Their partner takes second on the list. Their career is more important. And sometimes people say, well, I'm doing this to provide for you. Do you know what happens? You're providing the wrong things. Most important thing in a family. You all know what that is. Time together. That's more important than the big house or the big superannuation fund. What's the point of dying with all this money? You can be, as they say, the richest person in the cemetery. Big deal. Isn't it more important to be the happiest person in life? So when we put value where it really counts, and I do so many funeral services, and always there, you learn what's valuable. That's why it's great to go to a funeral service. If you're invited to any funeral service, even if it's a cousin ten times removed. Go. It's even better than a dharma talk here at Donna Mara Center, because there you're learning about life. A person is gone and people remember them. How do they remember them? They find what's very valuable. What do you want to be remembered by when you go? I know what I want to be remembered by my jokes. Here's another story about how to deal with the problem. This is courtesy of our executive, Tom Anderson. There was a lady who said whenever she had any difficulties in her life, she would open up her purse. She had a photo of her husband, said, I just need to take one look at my husband and all my anger. All my problems were just vanish straight away. Isn't that sweet? And she said, when I looked at my husband, I realized if I can handle and endure that, I can handle anything. That's a joke. Now you can. You can close it with a picture of my wife. If I can put up with her, I could put up with anything. I like Barry Stokes. I'm not married. I don't get scolded when I get back home. That was very valuable. Piece is valuable in life. Every medical person knows if you give yourself a bit of peace, your health improves, your energy improves, the quality of your life, improves happiness, improves your your ability to tolerate the difficulties in life improves when you give yourself some peace. Peace is the most valuable commodity and it is very priceless. You have to pay for. Peace doesn't cost anything and anybody can make peace at any time with anything. It's a beautiful thing. Even if you got cancer, if you. If you're dying, if you're in pain, you can make peace with anything. If you realize that peace is a most valuable thing. This weekend, give yourself many moments of peace. You'll be able to do that if you know how important it is. If you realize it's priceless value. Because peace is the spiritual gold. Everyone aspires for peace of mind, yet peace of mind is some of the goals in all of these traditions. And when people search for peace of mind, what do they get? Sometimes they just get arguments and frustrations because they don't know what peace of mind is. How do you find peace of mind? You make peace. Make peace with every moment, as I said in the meditation. When you do get a little bit of silence, don't disturb it. Don't interrupt. In some monasteries, we value peace so much. If a person walks with their sandals making flip flop, flip flop, flip flop. They give you 1 or 2 warnings and then is sent away. You value peace so much that we learn how to walk in this flip flops, making no sound. You value peace so much. If a person is meditating, we never disturb them, even if they're late for something. You value peace so much that we give each of these opportunities for long retreats, taking food to their hearts, looking after them in whatever way is required. It gives them this beautiful opportunities, a peace of mind. You have those opportunities to. Why don't you grab them? Grab them is more important than paying the bills. Worrying about the problems. Looking at their TV, watching the bill. Whatever else you spend your waste your time doing. Get peace out of the way first and then do all the other things on the other way around. Yeah, I'll pay the bills. I'll do the gardener, I'll mow the lawn. I'll get all these jobs out of the way, and then I'll find some peace. Does it work? Does it? When you give peace priority. When you give love priority. When you give friendship. Priority. When you give forgiveness. Priority. When you know how important it is, then you will be able to be a very forgiving person. You'll be able to find those moments of peace. You'll be able to realize it's more important that I spend time with the people I love to encourage and and to to generate and strengthen. You know, this love in my family is very important in times of difficult economic times, your spiritual capital, your emotional capital that will take you through your family, your friends, your relationships, your emotional spiritual capital is far more important than your bank balance. You know that, because that's what will take you through the toughest of times, the most difficult of experiences. These are important. Please value these things. When you value what really is worthy of value, they will become more prominent in your life. You spend more time cultivating these things and their opposites the anger, the selfishness, and the worrying about economies, or worrying about the footy, or worrying about who's doing what in neighbors or what's going to happen next. All that sort of stuff takes second priority or third or fourth, so you don't waste so much time in noticing. You don't worry so much about economies and rate rises and budgets and and football and who's winning and who's losing and all that sort of stuff, which people spend so much time worrying, getting upset and angry about. Instead, you can value what's truly valuable, and you're building a much better person inside of you and a much better life for people around you. If you can do things like that, it's also when you come and sit on your meditation cushion. It's so easy to meditate. What happens when you meditate? You sit down. Do you value thinking about all the things you're going to do next? Is that most important in your life? If it is, you'll never be able to meditate. Is it very important to figure out all the things which happen to you on the way here, and what why they did that and who did that? And is that really important? If it is, that's what you think about. The only reason the person minds mind wanders in meditation is because the place you're going, that's what you think is really important. You think because you give it meaning and value. If he realizes how more productive peace was and silence was to your health, to your prosperity, and more important, to your wisdom. Peace is where wisdom comes from. How can you ever understand life when you're too busy talking back to her all the time? I think you understand what I mean by talking back to life. There's two mouths which you have one below your nose and the other one is between your ears. You know that mouth inside your brain? Yak yak yak yak yak yak. All the time. You're always talking back about life. Never listening to her in silence, in peace. It's amazing when you give that piece importance. Then it grows and establishes itself because it's valuable. If you had $1 million in cash, would you ever lose track of it? Would you ever so wonder where you've left it and start doing other things? If you had like a winning lottery ticket before you took it and cashed it. You'd be checking it every second, putting under your bed at night with a gun next to it. I don't know what you'd do. This really important to you because you're important to you. You cherish it, you protect it. You don't lose it. So if you had some piece you valued at that piece, you'd never lose it. The mind would never wander if you valued peace and stillness and silence. That's how you have success in meditation and success in life. You change your whole value systems. What's really, really important and how do you change those value systems? If you go looking at a TV too much? What's really valuable is a new car, or the beautiful girl, or the new dress, or the new washing machine, or the new toothpaste which is coming out, which makes you irresistible to the opposite gender. I don't know if they still have those advertisements on there. If you think that's really, really important, you get sucked into that and you go on consuming and buying and and then you have to work so hard to pay off the bills and you got no money left at the end of the day. So you have to work even harder and you try and get the promotion at work. Is that really important? Why do you want a promotion at work? Why do you want to get on in your career? You only have to work harder. And it's true that no matter how much money they give you, when you get a promotion, you get a rise in salary, don't you? No matter how much salary they give you, it's never enough. Ask the policeman. The doctor is a nurse is never enough. That's why it's a great thing being a monk. I don't get any money at all. And it's enough. I actually should be asked for advice. I've been doing this job for a long time now. I haven't had a rise in salary. Just get one bowl of food a day. That's all actually true. Sometimes we should start a match. Union. How much you have is only enough. When you understand contentment, you understand the importance of peace. You understand what's really valuable in life and those things which are very valuable in life. As one of our car stickers which we printed here said, the most important things in life aren't things. The most important things in life aren't things. Please remember that not something you can buy at a shop. You can't buy the friendship of the shop. That's why we don't actually charge anything here, because it's just not right to charge for what's not a thing. Peace. Truth. Love, wisdom. Not a thing hasn't got a price. And it's beautiful that we respect. We know we call it dharma, truth, love, peace, whatever. We respect it so much in our tradition that just. You can't charge for it as it demeans it. These are the best things that know things. Peace. Peter, you know what freedom is. Are you a free person? There are two types of freedom in life. This is a totally different talk, but I just mentioned this in passing as I've started the two different freedoms in life. The freedom of desires be go and do whatever you want, whenever you want. That's what many of you know. That's the freedom which money gives you, which wealth gives you which power, gives you the freedom to to go overseas, to buy what you want to see, whatever you want, whatever movie, whatever clothes. That's what many people aspire towards. And things are really important. The wealth of a human being, the freedom of desires, unfettered access to whatever you want. But that's not real freedom. Now the freedom is more important, not the freedom of desires. It's the freedom from desire. Peace at last. The road to sit in your home this weekend and had been completely content not wanting anything. Better to sit there in the garden or in your room. I'm just happy to be here and I don't want to be anywhere else with anybody else. I don't want anything more. I'm just so content to be at peace right here in this beautiful armchair, which I'm sitting in contentment, not wanting something, but the freedom from this irritation called desire. And that's real peace. If only people can value that, they can touch that enough to evaluate. You'll find your race around far less than life. You won't be rushing around for things because there's other things which are far more important. Sure, you won't be as wealthy. You won't be able to give so many donations to the Buddhist society or the monasteries. But I don't care. You won't be super rich, but you'll be super happy. And that's more important to have peaceful, happy people. Why? Because you changed your value system. You're not valuing what other people in the world value. You're not just being part of the rat race. You're just leaving that at the rats through the races, and you just sit in the sands stance in the grandstand, booing them, saying, what silly rats you are. You're only going around in a circle. I feel very sorry for horses. When horses go racing, they just go out in circles. They end up where they started just to sit there and wait. And that's what people do. Just go around in circles. You start coming to this world naked to go out and naked. You go start this world, this life, poor and it poor. You just go around in circles. It's called samsara, the wheel of life and death. So why not to stop and get off the wheel? Around a bit of peace and contentment and how to do that because you value peace. Well, anything else in the whole world. Moments of peace are there for the taking. Why not just stop? And appreciate how beautiful peace is. And when you value it, you find you have so many opportunities. People often ask me how. How much should you meditate? Please ask the wrong question. It's not. Should you meditate? It's not some task you have to do, like some medicine you have to take three times a day. So one question is not how long should I meditate? It's just why not make peace in this moment? There's those opportunities of peace. And as the Buddha said in one of my favorite sutras, when you really know the value of peace, silence, freedom from desires, you will lead to it, will jump to it. You can't stop yourself. Because the mind knows what's really important. When you know how important compassion is. You don't have to be compassionate. You don't have to try. I'm a man. I have to be kind. I'm a monk. I have to be kind. It comes natural. The mind leaps towards compassion. It sees it, recognize it, embraces it, and it becomes it. You don't have to try to be forgiving. It's so important to forgive and let go. Well, that person has done what you've done. So important, so valuable. You can't stop yourself from doing that and you can't stop yourself. Being peaceful even though other people get angry. Not important what other people say. What's important is you're kind to them. That's why that story. That Franciscan monk is beautiful. He had his values straight. It wasn't important whether his advert was scolding him for a good reason or boundaries. And that wasn't important. It was important. That person had a source for. That's all he thought about. That man has his values. Correct. So when you rearrange your values to wisdom, who come to this place and getting your values brainwashed is what we do here every week. I admit it. Or I'm brainwashing you, conditioning you. It works. You recondition your values by coming to places like this. There you'll find you'll be a more beautiful person as well. And you'll be spreading that peace, that harmony, that tolerance to everyone you meet. And we can make a beautiful world. You can have all the religions working side by side for a common cause. Men and women living together without needing to get divorced. And I need to go to that pain of separation. People of all races, even the Fremantle Dockers and the Eagles hugging each other instead of putting out one finger. Wouldn't that be a wonderful world? Thank you for listening. Okay. Anyone got any comments or questions? Yeah. Uh, yeah. Uh, being wise, you don't have to get angry back at them. Just don't give them any thinking. I'll give them an IOU. Said I'll pay you in my next life. But no, it's being kind. Being peaceful is not being stupid. So, uh, you're caring for another person. That's the most important thing to do. If a person wants something, they may ask you for one thing, but you realize that's not what they need. So sometimes that happened to me when I just coming up into my mind, visiting India on pilgrimage and part of the pilgrimage. One of the Buddhist holy places is just outside of Benares. It's a huge ancient city in India who went for a cruise early morning cruise to see the sun come up over the Ganges river. Everyone has to do that. Do it once and you've done it. Got it out of the way. But on the way back, there's the best part. On the way back, he had to walk through a poor part of Benaras, and there the lepers came out. Real lepers, open wounds, living on the street, no hospital. And they came up and asked me because. No, I was white man. White man means rich. No rupee. Rupee can have a rupee. And I was a bit stupid. Maybe because early in the morning got up too early and I said, no sir, I'm a monk. I don't have any rupees. How would that guy understand English? And I realized that he kept us. Rupee. Rupee. Rupee. And so what did I do? The only thing I could do. I can't give him any rupees, but at least I can care for him. I just put my hand and my arm around him and gave him a nice hug. And he gave me this beautiful spa, which I'll never forget. He never asked for anybody any more. He gave me this beautiful, loving smile and even though he was a person in such dire circumstances, still you could see there is such beauty and happiness in that guy. And that's what I really remember. Even though he had an apathy living on the streets, really poor, that wasn't important. His happiness was more important. Just a white man and an Indian. An effort is hugging. That was important. What I could do to care for him. As a valuable moments. So you may not be able to give him any money when he asks. You can care. He knows you care. That's good enough. Not if it answers the question. But I don't know. But it's a great question. Thank you. Any other questions or comments? Are what the goals. Are. And that's a really good question. Thank you for asking that question. It is actually a Buddha statue, the fat tummy. But as we call them in the West Buddhas, though actually they came from the Chinese god of prosperity. And so when Buddhism went to China, it sort of adopted some of the and the Chinese customs and icons. And they had before Buddhism, this, this, uh, fat guy with lots of children on him. Sometimes there was a sign of prosperity in the days before they understood about cholesterol. Now, that was actually, uh. Uh, and so in these Buddhist places in China, they'd have this as a symbol of prosperity because everybody wants to be prosperous. But now this is like the, uh, the more original, this is a lot more like Thai style, but it's still a Buddha. But remember, it's not a god. It's just an image over there. It's what it represents, which is more important. So it's not sort of a god. You can you can go up if you like and ask it for the lottery numbers. You won't get anything. But it's just a symbol of peace and kindness, of gentleness. And that's why that I think I've said here that where one of our monks went to England for a visit, they wanted to take him to a castle. He got away and he got to see a castle. You know, it's an ancient monument. But the castle was closed, so thinking what to do next said, oh, not so far away was this house called Chartwell, which was the residence of the British statesman Winston Churchill. Go and have a look. Oh, yeah. As well. So he went into this, um, the house where the British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, used to live before he died. The museum now. And right of the entrance there was his painting, which was done by Winston Churchill. Ah, the Buddha statue. And the man couldn't resist. What's that doing here? You know, because Winston Churchill was a Buddhist. And the curator, you know, who obviously knew about Winston Churchill's life said this was a painting of a real Buddha statue, which Winston Churchill had by his bedside every night during the Second World War. He kept the Buddha statue next to his bed. Unfortunately, it broke, but before it broke, he'd actually painted a picture of it because it was very important to him. He said, this is the painting. The actual original got broken. Not sure where it's gone to. And why would a Christian, a statesman, have a statue of a Buddha in his personal space right by his bed? Because it obviously gave him a sense of peace, a sense of stillness in the most difficult times of a Second World war. That's what a Buddha statue is there for, to give you strength, peace, stillness, Inspiration in the most difficult times of your life. That's what happened to Winston Churchill. And as many other people could say. What's one of the most popular statues in the garden shops? Why? Why do people have them in their gardens? Because they're symbols of peace. And gardeners are supposed to be places where you can go to relax and have a bit of peace. So it's not desecrating a Buddha statue by putting it in your garden. It's brilliant because it's giving you what the Buddha statue was supposed to be there for. A sense of peace and stillness and calm and even maybe forgiveness and love. The more you understand about how the Buddha lived, the more when you see that you think, I can't get angry at my wife, I must forgive my husband, because that's what a Buddha statue. Peace of mind. Well, thanks for that question. You've got another seven minutes out of me this evening, but no extra charge. Thank you for listening.