How to Stop | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
How to Stop | Ajahn Brahm
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The truth is not something found in a book or passed on from someone else, but is something that is found within one’s own experience. But the deeper truth is not found in thoughts, but rather in silence. This teaching by Ajahn Brahm is about how to find one’s own way into silence and to seeing the truth directly for oneself. In short: how to stop doing things and to invest our energy into just knowing.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 25th July 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


How To Stop –
Ajahn Brahm
[Robot generated transcription – expect errors!]


As many of you know that this evening will be the the Last Talk, which I give here for a couple of months as concentrate more on my monastery at Serpentine. This year, there’s 33 people there 32, as well as myself, needed to be taught, instructed to help with their meditation. So that’s what I’ll be doing the next couple of months. So the Last Talk, which I’m going to be giving here for a couple of months, make it a nice deep one, how to not need to come here ever again, because I keep telling people that the job of a teacher is to get rid of disciples. I must be doing a very, very bad job because people keep coming. Every week you say to go and get rid of disciples. In other words, to try and get people independent so they know themselves, or rather, as all teachers understand these days, that the job of a teacher is to instruct the students how to access knowledge so they can become independent. People who can find out the answers for themselves, they don’t need to come to school. So that’s a job of a teacher, how to find out truths in your life. Because people always sending emails, asking questions, ringing up, asking questions, coming before the talk, after the talk, asking questions. I’m not doing my job because really I should be teaching and instructing how you can find out those questions, the answers, those questions all by yourself, how to gain truth, how to gain insight, how to gain knowledge. So this evening’s talk will be on that subject, on the path to truth. We call it truth because it’s something which is undeniably correct. But some of the problems with truth is that so much is presented in the world as truth and how can we select between what’s really correct and what’s wrong? And this is why the world is confusing with many different philosophies and religions, but more than that, many different ideas on what’s right and what’s wrong. We got to cut through all of those. In other words, put them all aside, bud
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hism included, and your own ideas included, to be able to find what we call truth. Because truth is not something which you’ve heard from somebody else. It’s not what you’ve read in somewhere else. Truth, as everyone should know, is only to be found in your heart, in your mind, in your experience. But more than that, the truth is always found in silence, never in thought. When we think, we think around the subject. The mind is moving too much to really know what’s going on. There’s one of the great things in Buddhism that we have this path of meditation which is learning how to stop the mind moving in thought so it can actually see in stillness. It’s in that knowing where one comes closest to the truth. If you observe the process of thought which deceives many people, the process of thought is never pure and by saying it’s never pure is. We think old thoughts is conditioned from our past. We think in ruts in old ways. We think according to paradigms ideas which we have already fixed and our thoughts are supposed to fulfill all those views and ideas. To give that example, a Christian thinks in the way a Christian would think conditioned by their beliefs and so could a Buddhist as well. To think in terms of Buddhist ideas. An atheist thinks in atheist ways. We’re all conditioned just to think in ways which fulfill what we expect. In psychology we always know this as just seeing what we want to see and being in denial to what we don’t like. I was just reading in an article to somebody led me just last week. They did a survey of people asking whether they were above average intelligence or not. 98% of people believe they were above average intelligence. We showed that 50% of those people in denial about their stupidity. So you here. Do you think you’re above average intelligence or not? I’m sure that everyone here will say, yes, I’m above average intelligence. And actually, you are correct it’s. Those 50% are watching the football match tonight. Subiaco Oval. They’re the ones blind. I got caught in a traffic jam going past there today. So what we’re actually saying is that we all think in ways which are obviously not truthful, not right, they’re not correct. But we believe those thoughts. And this is our problem. Always saying there’s an example of our thoughts are untrustworthy. I hate you is a thought which we cannot trust. But because we trust that thought, we can go to war with our ex or countries can go to war with sort of their enemies. You can see just how this thinking, when we trust it so much, can create so much problems for us in our life. Imagine if you didn’t trust the thoughts which run through your head. You saw somebody do something, maybe your husband, your wife. You thought about that. You say, I’m not going to trust this thought of anger. I’m not going to trust this thought of ill will. I’m not even going to trust this thought, oh, I love you. The best person in the world. Each of those thoughts you can see is manufactured from conditioning. You think what you want to think. You don’t think what you don’t like to think. These thoughts are conditioned. There’s many experiments have been done about the way that we use thinking, and the way that thinking is, again, what we expect to see, but not what is really true. Some years ago, those of you who have heard this before, you can actually please keep a little bit quiet. Because some years ago in this hall here, I made a confession. I made a confession because at that particular time, there were many monks, budhist monks, especially in Thailand, who were involved in scandals then sexual scandals. And I decided to make a confession in front of everybody. I told people in all humility that once, when I was young, I spent some of the most happiest hours of my life in the arms of another man’s wife. I did that in the arms of another man’s wife. Spent some of the happiest hours of my life when I first said that, people were shocked. I almost saw a few people going out the door saying, oh, no, not Ajam Brahm as well. Until I explained what I really meant. That that woman, another man’s wife, in whose arms I spent many of the happiest hours of my life, was my mother when I was a baby. Make him think of it. When I was young, I spent some of the happiest hours of my life in the arms of another man’s wife. So did all you as well. It was my mum. Now, the point is, I’m not quite sure how many of you remember that story, but those who did remember that story, you think, oh, my God, that’s adultery. He’s supposed to be a monk. He’s supposed to be an upstanding example. He’s supposed to be teaching us what’s he done. You can see how thought can be deceptive. Which is why I tell that story, how we can jump to conclusions which seem reasonable and rational. Yeah, he spent some loving moments in the arms of another man’s wife. But we don’t realize that there can be another way of looking at it. This is a problem with truth so much that we can jump to conclusions. Not just about what I just said. We can jump to conclusions about our partner, we can even jump to conclusions about ourself, our life, truth, everything. Which is why it is so difficult to see truth in our lives, to be able to actually to see that truth is as if we have to put aside all the old ways we usually look at life, the old conditionings, the old ways we’ve been taught. It’s amazing just how much we’ve been brainwashed into thinking certain things. I remember as a young man, the first time I took alcohol, I was about 14 years of age, sneaking into a pub, pretending I was 18 and drinking a beer with my friend. It was very exciting, but very wrong. But the person the thing which I always remember was as soon as I took this British beer, I couldn’t believe how disgusting it tasted. It was terrible stuff. And I couldn’t understand why people made such a fuss and bother about going to the pub and having a glass of beer, why people spent so much time there, why there was more pubs in London than there were churches. In fact, every time I’ve gone back to visit now, my old places where I grew up, in West London, I see many of the churches disappeared. But I never see the pubs disappear. They never get sort of sold off. They get busier and busier and more built all the time. What’s the big deal? I was thinking about beer being tasty because it tasted awful. That was the truth of it. But what I noticed over the next three months, six months, year or whatever, two years, three years, the beer started to be tasty. I started to like it and I started getting caught up like everyone else in going out to parties, going out to the pub and drinking the stuff. What was happening that I was reconditioning myself to like something because I was told to like it. The whole society, the whole condition was saying, this is fun, and I was buying into it. I’d actually bend the truth to fit in. It’s called conditioning. And I was bending the truth afterwards to think that when you go and have a party and you go and get drunk oh, what a great night we had. Oh, what a great piss up that was last night. Oh, yeah. I got stone drunk. AHA, yeah, great. And it took a while, actually, because I started getting interested in meditation and budhism. You were told to be truthful, and what that truthfulness meant was being reflective, using mindfulness and asking the toughest of questions and challenging no sacred cows at all. Nothing should be taken on face value just because the Buddha said it, just because your parents said it, just because the teacher said it, just because you believed it, that didn’t make it true. It. You had to pull all that aside and actually look and see whether it was true or not to go according to your experience. But it had to be mindful, clear experience and this became my path in life. When you started looking clearly at what you were doing in life, you weren’t following what other people were telling you. You were getting all that information, all that wisdom from your own experience. It became so clear to me that, say, drinking alcohol was a complete waste of time. It was expensive, it didn’t really make you happy and you could actually have more happiness without the stuff. I still used to go to those parties and had even more fun and all. So I remembered that fun afterwards. I remembered exactly what I was doing when I woke up in the morning I was fresh. What a wonderful way it was. Example of how to Live a Life I went against the stream I went against what was expected of me. I went against what it was expecting of a student. Even drugs as well. You saw. What do you want to do that for? You could get high. You can get happy without the stuff. In fact, you can get more happy. And this was not because I was being some sort of puritan Buddhist. It wasn’t because I was trying to prove anything except proving truth itself. Experimenting, testing out, and seeing whether it was right or not. These were my experiences. And this was actually the path of actually finding out truth. So much of what people do is following fashions, following what’s expected of you, living up to some expectation of your partner, your parents, your teachers, your friends, your religion, or living up the expectations of your atheism, of your rebelliousness. We always attempted to just not be ourselves, but to accept roles and to play up to those roles, be actors. Never really be free human beings. And after a while, we realize just how acting a role, living up to other people’s expectations or our own expectations, puts us in this terrible prison we call life. What’s expected of you? What do you have to do? What do you have to do to please the person you live with? What do you have to do to please the people you work with? What do you have to do to please your friends? What do you have to do to live up to your own expectations? I think you all know where that leads to. Your expectations and other expectations cannot be lived up to. You end up getting frustrated, you end up feeling inadequate. You end up getting depressed. You if I wanted to be the best monk, live up to everyone’s expectations, to be the great abbot, the great teacher, I’d go crazy. So instead, you just whatever you do? I just do it. If people like it, great. If they don’t like it, great. I just was filling out a form for our main monastery in Thailand. And I wanted to say, when I first became sort of abbot of this joint, that was about nine years ago. Eight and a half years ago in 1980 519 95. Sorry. And I remember that time because the previous abbot sort of disrobed, he left me literally holding the baby. The big baby has grown a lot. Sad time. But I looked at myself, Do I want to do this? Do I want to sort of take on all this responsibility? And at the time, I remember just thinking about it clearly, and I came to the conclusion, give it a go. If I end up being a decent teacher, that’s great. I can help other people. But if I end up being a complete hopeless teacher and no one actually comes, listen to the talks, I thought, that’s even better, because then people leave me alone. I can be a hermit because monks like being hermit, living by themselves. So that way, when there was no pressure on me, you can just go out there and enjoy yourself and don’t care if nobody comes. I wasn’t teaching to try and please anybody. And that’s why it became very easy just to get up and give a talk. You were relaxed because you weren’t having this pressure on you to try and live up to some expectation. It’s the freedom which comes from knowing your own truth rather than always expecting other people ‘s truths to control you. When you look upon that, it’s an expression of what we keep on saying in this place here, of letting go. Contentment, lovingkindness, compassion. You’re being compassionate to yourself, allowing yourself to be, saying to yourself with all of your faults, the door of my hearts open to me. Despite all my silly jokes, despite my so called failures and successes, despite who I am, I’m okay. It’s being at peace with oneself. What that’s actually being is actually being true to yourself and. You can you understand just how letting be contentment, compassion, and truth become the same word. You’re being true to how you feel. You’re being true to who you are in this moment, rather than trying to be true to somebody else’s ideas and expectations. Too often, we take our cues from others, which is why I always encourage people to be rebellious. I don’t mean being rebellious against society. I mean being rebellious in order to find out truth. I’ve always noticed that the great leaders of religions, the people who started all of this, were all rebels. The budha was a rebel. He went against the brahmanical system in India at that time. He spent his whole lifetime teaching against caste systems and saying people, no matter what gender, no matter what, was only one race, which he knew about at that time. No matter sort of what sexual orientation, no matter where they came from, how wealthy they were, no matter what caste they were, they should not be judged just because of who their parents were. They should be judged by how they behaved. So no castes. And he spent his whole lifetime fighting that. He failed, as we all know now, because there’s a big caste system in India and sometimes there’s even caste systems in Sri Lanka as well, which I think the Sri Lanka should be ashamed of. People should be judged not by who their parents were, but by their behaviour, by who they are. It was the same way that we could actually see that we have to rebel against these ways of looking and measuring which are imposed upon us by somebody else. And not true. Jesus Christ was a rebel. All the great leaders were rebel. Even my teacher, Ajian Cha was a rebel. He was a great rebel. In that time in Thailand, most of the monks were not really practicing very well at all, accepting money, being lazy, not doing much meditation. And she said, no, I don’t think that’s the right way to go. He rebelled against, though, went to live in the forest and started and he joined a great tradition of monks who are rebels. I rebelled against society when I was 23. My mother wanted me to go and get married and have kids. I rebelled. Society wanted me at a good degree to go and get rich and enjoy money. I rebelled. I said, no, I don’t want sex, I don’t want money, I want something else. The reason why I rebelled was because I had some experiences in meditation which showed me that there was something much more to life. The money and power and sex and family and all that sort of stuff. And. And that experience meant more to me than what other people wanted. People thought you were crazy at that time. 30 years ago, wanted to become a monk. Most of my family thought I’ll just let him sort of go through that stage. You grow up later on, I’m stood in that stage, and I’m very happy. What, you mean you a rebel? You actually go against even what your friends wanted? When I told them I was a Buddhist, they could accept that. But I remember when I said I was going to become a monk, they said, Hang on, you’re going too far. They didn’t mind me being a Buddhist and being a vegetarian and not taking alcohol, but being a monk, that was really challenging. You know why it’s challenging? Because it’s challenging other people’s ideas of what life is all about. You. It’s not just me rebelling. The very fact that I’m sitting here enjoying myself with no sex, with no TV, with no money, with no family, I’m having a great time, challenges the way you think about life and what’s important in life. The fact that I have no money and are happy having no money means maybe money’s not so important in life. Look at money. What is it anyway? It’s just the value which people put on it, that’s all. That’s why one of Adrian Charles’great stories, he made a prediction once. He said that in the future there will come a time when society will run out of paper to print coins. It’s almost happening now. Where? Nothing. Australia’s printing on plastic now. Plastic money. There’ll be a time when there’ll be no metal left for coins. So the governments of the world would have to find something else to use as currency. And he predicted that in the future, instead of using paper and metal, the governments will use chicken shits. And you get paid every Friday in a big bag of these little pellets of dun and you’d be looking to see who’s got the biggest bag of dung. And you’d be going to the bank and putting all this chicken shit into the bank and worrying whether you got enough to pay your bills. And it’s all just chicken shit, that’s all. And people will be fighting over chicken shit. They’ll be robbing your house to try and pinch some more chicken shit. And the IMF will become the International Manure Fund. It. What’s the difference between paper and coins and chicken shit? Nothing. It’s just a value we we give on it, isn’t it? So why are you so concerned about working your butt off to try and get more chicken shit every week? That’s a bit coarse, but I like being a rebel. As I’m telling you what it is challenging some of the assumptions we make about life, what’s really important. After all, you don’t take any chicken shit with you when you die. So those assumptions really cut to what is actually truth, what we’re here for. So instead of actually following our society, which is a very silly thing to follow, what other people are doing look at the houses which you live in. Look at the house which I live in. Who’s the more sensible? I ask you, how many rooms can you stay in at one time? How? And how how much time do you spend cleaning? And how much money does it take to actually to build those houses? It’s bigger and bigger and bigger every year. Look at the old houses in Perth. Look at those houses 20 years ago, ten years ago, five years ago. You can see them getting bigger and bigger and bigger, but at the same time, the number of people who live in them get smaller and smaller and smaller. Doesn’t that tell you something? We’re going in the wrong direction. Huge houses, but no family and friends. We can’t live with each other. So build these big prisons for us to stay in. It cost us all this money to keep these prisons called our homes going. And they’re prisons because they take so much time to clean and so much money to pay off the mortgages. How many years do you have to spend paying off your mortgage? You had a house half the size. You could be able to retire by the time you’re 40 or even 30, but. But we always have to have bigger houses. Why? Because everyone else is doing it, that’s why. Because we’re always measuring ourselves against somebody else. We want to make it in the world. And to make it in the world, we have to have a big house. We have to have a car, a big car or one of these sports car. We have to have the holidays overseas. We have to have do you really need all of that? What do you really need? Truth is asking that question. What do you really need in life? Not what you want, but what you need. Where everybody says all they need is peace, they need contentment, they need happiness, that’s what we need. And so often we’re sold this old bomb of a life by used car salesmen called politicians, called teachers, even parents sometimes who know no better. We should question and ask ourselves so the whole point of truth is actually questioning yourself, not following others, not following me. Do not believe what I say. Now you’re believing that already? I did that once with someone and said whatever I say. Don’t believe it. Said yes. Yes, you’re believing it. Thinking just gets you in knots. But knowing is much more clear. Knowing when we practice mindfulness, alertness, awareness, we actually feel what’s going on. We understand what’s going on. We’re getting much closer to truth. Just simple examples of the psychological well being of a human being. When we think what’s expected of us, we tie ourselves in knots. When we think we just think around things, we get so restless, we don’t understand anything. When we stop and look, we see everything we need to know. We’re being aware, alert. When you get upset, how do you feel? When you get angry at somebody, how do you feel? What’s going on inside? Be alert. Be awake. Be aware. It’s an interesting thing when people start practicing. Mindfulness of their inner state, they realize just how much they torture themselves with desire and with ill will. And you wonder, why on earth do I allow other people to control my happiness? Which is what you do when you have craving or ill will. Someone triggers a button in you, they call you a fool, they call you an idiot. You know, a lot of the time they do that on purpose to try and get you upset. And you let them do it. Why do you allow other people to control your happiness? So people can call me anything. You can call me a dog. You can call me an idiot. You can call me much worse. And I am not going to allow that to control my happiness. You know why? Because I don’t believe you. If someone calls you an idiot, if your partner calls you a fool, the only reason why it upsets you is because you believe they might be right. It because if you had that understanding, awareness and you said, actually, I am a fool, you say, oh, thank you very much. You’re right, you know, it’s all right to be a fool, to make a mistake. That’s another part of wisdom. Life says we’re not allowed to make mistakes. Society, he says that you’re a failure if you make mistakes. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if he said it’s all right? It’s allowable. It’s permitted to make mistakes in life. Hands up anyone here who’s never made a mistake and anyone who puts their hand up. I say that’s another mistake. But it we’ve all made mistakes in life. So can’t we accept those mistakes and be at peace with it? Understand that’s life. When we accept those mistakes, it’s like loving those mistakes. The door of my heart’s open to your mistakes. Come in. I can be with this. What we’re doing is we’re being real, allowing ourselves to be with our mistakes. You know, a great partnership if you’re lucky enough to have a partner who’s wise, they’ll love you together with your mistakes. Have this beautiful sense that another person understands I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. Sometimes I get upset, sometimes I drop my load. But I know that you understand that it’s nothing to do with you. It’s just me. I’m a human being. I make mistakes from time to time. So do you. We don’t feel just this great pressure on us always to be perfect. The harder you try to be perfect, the more mistakes you make. When you allow mistakes to happen, you make so few because you’re allowing yourself to be you’re, relaxing, being yourself. You understand other people love you for who you are. You don’t have to be perfect when you’re actually mindful of that. In such a state of freedom, a state of peace. And you realize why am I always allowing to snort other people’s ideas of me and criticisms of me to control my happiness? When other people think you’re the greatest person in the world, you get so high, next moment they think you’re the biggest idiot of the world and you feel just so terrible. Why do you allow other people to control that happiness inside of you? Isn’t it better just to be yourself and be at peace where people say, I can enjoy the joke. You have great fun being a monk. Not so much these days because people are used to you, but in the good old days when you were really weird and strange used to have some great fun being a monk walking around in robes. I think I told a story last week of like being propositioned by a homosexual. Oh, you do look beautiful in those robes. I thought it was really good fun. I remember the other day that I was visiting some family who’s going to become to visit me just in October in Stoke on Trent in the Midlands of England. And so that morning we went for a walk because I like a bit of exercise. So we went for a walk and there was a circus in town. And they thought I was one of the act. Think they thought I was one of the clowns, I think. Side joy. That was good fun. One of my best stories. There’s a whole stash of these. But once, going down each highway in a car one hot afternoon, we had the windows open, going down Leech Highway, three lane highway on both sides. We were going down on some sort of business or other and a car of hoons saw me. They saw me, this bald headed, brown robe, weirdo. And so they decided to sort of draw alongside. And so there was our car, our van, and this carload of, like, young hoons, 20 year old, 21 year old, having a good time. And they shouted at me. My window was down. They pulled up right along at each highway, right next to our car, very close, quite dangerous. And they called over to me, all of them. I had a look. And they pulled up this magazine and started pointing at it. Hey, look at this. It’s Playboy. And. It. They’re going around each highway sort of trying to get me to look at these pictures of nude women because they knew I was a muck. I didn’t look. I didn’t look, but I laughed because I thought, that’s unique, okay? If I was 20, I’d have probably done the same if I’d have seen a muck. So I never allowed them to upset me. I laughed with them. As I was once taught as a school teacher, if you make a mistake in class and the kids start laughing, you laugh as well. That way, no one ever laughs at you. They always laugh with you. Isn’t that lovely little saying? So if you make a mistake, you fall over and you sort of make an idiot of yourself. You laugh as well. To be able to laugh at yourself is accepting yourself is understanding. Yeah, I make mistakes, and it’s all right to make mistakes. So I can laugh at my mistakes. So I can laugh with other people. Then no one ever laughs at. It’s a lot of difference there. You never allow other people to control your happiness and if they sort of say silly things about you, you can just understand that sometimes when people say those things that you understand the truth of the matter is it’s nothing to do with you. If they call you an idiot, a dog or whatever, it’s not nothing to do with you. It’s usually because they are really feeling upset, they’re in pain, they want you to be in pain as well. It’s usually what happens because you can see yourself doing that as well. You’ve had a hard day, something’s gone wrong. The last thing you want is other people to be happy. It’s a strange thing about human nature. When I’m suffering, I want the whole world to suffer. When I’m suffering grief because the loss of a loved one, I want everyone else to cry as well. Can’t understand if I’m feeling so miserable, why anyone else should be happy. It that’s the nature of human beings sometimes. So when people get angry at you, they try and upset you. Don’t take it personally, it means that they’re suffering. So when somebody really says oh, you’re an idiot, they get really upset at you, just go and give them a big hug oh, you must be really hurting. That really upsets them. I’m trying to get you upset and all you do is love me. That’s really what they need. They need a bit of understanding, that’s all. So this is actually truth. Now there’s one person who always gives you a hard time and that’s you. How often are you always calling yourself a dog? Stupid and idiot. I’m hopeless. You remember you’re only doing that to yourself because you’re hurting and you want yourself to hurt even more. Give yourself a hug. If you make a mistake inside, laugh at your mistakes. Laugh at your stupidity. Laugh with the world when the world can never laugh at you. Don’t try and live up to some stupid ideas. Which where do they all come from anyway? Know it’s much nicer just being yourself. And this is like knowledge of truth, being mindful, being alert. When you are mindful and alert, you just see the way you work and the answers are just pretty obvious. Just same answers people have been saying for years and years and years just be kind, be gentle, be forgiving. Then you become happy. Simple teachings which all religions actually teach, all wise people teach, actually, you teach yourself if you can only listen to it. So a lot of times I feel a bit of a ford sitting up here and just telling you what you already know. But people still keep on coming anyway, so it keeps me in business. But you can actually take that noddish deeper, because when you really want to find out the big truths, the truths which the philosophers argue about, which is one of the reasons they do come to places like this, you all know how to keep yourself happy about what is the real truth. Who are you? And what’s really going on. You find this awareness, this mindfulness, has different levels. The ordinary awareness which people have is actually pretty dull. When you think you know life and you’re experiencing what’s going on, you’re just experiencing a fraction of what’s going on. Really what one needs to do is to become silent and quiet. To be able to build up this inner awareness. You build it up and build it up and build it up until it gets really strong. This is why we meditate. Because when you meditate, you’re building up alertness, awareness, knowing the power of knowing. That power of knowing is something which is very profound. It’s not ordinary knowing. In fact, the more you think, the less you know. The reason is because all your energy goes into thinking and not much energy is left for knowing. These are two parts of the mind and these two parts of the mind are almost in competition for the energy of your life. And if you do a lot, you know so little. This is what happens in our meditation. I just taught this actually, at my monastery last or a couple of Wednesdays ago. Putting energy into the knowing, taking away from the doing. By that I mean. Just be be alert. Don’t manage, don’t control, don’t change. Don’t try and get rid of this, don’t try and get that, which is all doing, but just know and no but. Don’t move, don’t do anything, don’t change anything. Don’t try and control. Just know. Strange thing happens when you do this. It’s called meditation. When you put all your energy into knowing, nonreactive knowing, passive awareness, silent knowing, you find that knowing starts to get brighter and brighter and brighter. The knowing starts to get energy. People experience this very often after good meditation by just knowing the beauty of things. They go outside and they see like a plant and the leaf looks as it’s been polished. The green looks so deeply green. It’s brilliantly green. It’s beautifully green. You look up the stars at night in the heavens and my goodness, they’re just twig thing as if they too have been polished. Even ordinary things which you see your old wooden meditation stool. That’s not just an ordinary piece of pine, that’s a work of art. Wow, look at all those colors in there. The shapes strange happens when you put all the energy into the knowing. The knowing becomes powerful and incredibly sensitive. You see much more. You see more deeply. You see more richly. You know one of the old similes which are given about this those of you who come to the meditation retreats or come on a Saturday afternoons will know this very well, but it’s a brilliant simile. My monastery in Serpentine is 2.2 km on the top of a hill. For ten years, I think, or roughly about that time, I’d always gone up and down that hill in a vehicle. One day I decided, because it was a lovely, lovely day, to walk up that hill is quite a steep hill, but say two and a half kilometers. And what struck me was walking up that hill for the first time and. That hillside looked completely different than anything I’d ever seen before. Through the through the window of a car I couldn’t understand. Hang on. I’ve been going up and down this road for ten years. Why does it look so different? By say different, I was seeing things I’d never noticed before. The whole thing looked much more beautiful than I’d expected. And after a while off I stopped. I just stood and looked to that hillside and when I saw that stood and was still, it changed once more and become even more beautiful and more rich and more detailed. It was such a strange experience. I reflected upon it afterwards what was going on. I soon figured it out. When you’re going through fast car, your senses haven’t got time to really pick up what’s really going on. You see life in shades, almost like shadows. It’s not rich, it’s not deep. You haven’t got time to pick up the detail. When you slow down, all the senses have got more opportunity to see more. And what it sees has a deeper impression on you because you got time. When you stop, you have all the time in the world that hillside to show completely what’s there. All this detail, all this richness. My goodness, it was beautiful. When is stopped, this is what we mean by knowing too often we don’t know truth because we’re just moving too fast. Life is like being in a fast car from one thing to the next, even from one thought to the next. Our thoughts go so quickly. Responding to the speed of our life and all the things which we have to do and fit into one day is huge. We have to run so fast. That’s why what we see of life is just a shade of what’s really there. It never looks so beautiful at all. But then comes a time when you learn a bit of meditation, slowing down, stopping, being, not running around, not thinking, not giving things names. Not doing, just knowing. When you slow down, you become aware of things you never thought were there before. You become aware of yourself, how you work. As you slow down even more, you see yourself in greater detail, in more richness. There’s things which were going on there you never noticed before. Now you see them. One of the wonderful things is it’s a very reassuring things. When you slow down, that hillside looks more beautiful, not more ugly. It looks more inviting, not more fearful. The same happens with you when you slow down. You look much more beautiful, much more inviting. You find you’re nowhere near as bad as you thought you were. And as you slow down even more and come to a state of stillness when you can see that hillside fully, perfectly my goodness, it’s so beautiful. It. It. Everyone who has these spiritual experiences, when they stop, always come back with thinking the world is perfect and so am I. Strange. How can you say that? People say when there’s so much problems or troubles in the world, this is just what happens. The hillside, when you stop, looks the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s the nature of knowing. What’s happening is your knowing is increasing in its intensity, its ability to see. And I was telling you that this whole talk is about how to know truth. Strange thing. People think truth might be something you don’t really want to know. You might think truth is all theories and ideas. Truth is none of that. Truth is the clear seeing in the moment with power. Or sometimes I call power mindfulness, power awareness. So you see so deeply into things when you stop. The more you stop, the more you see the. Advanced meditators can stop so much. They see so deeply into things. They see through time, through the world, into their mind, through the mind, into nothing. The ultimate. So you got to really stop to be able to see that. The interesting thing is the BPC, the more beautiful it becomes. Which is why these states of stopping in Buddhism are also called states of bliss and ecstasy. Like I keep on saying here, just the happiness you get in meditation exceeds anything in the world. It keeps getting better and better and better. And it’s not something which is against the seeing of truth, but is part of the truth. The truth is beautiful. You find when you stop, you might get overwhelmed by the beauty. But what you’re seeing is the most real thing in the world. More real than thoughts and ideas which are just conditioned from outside, which are just taught to you. This is actually seeing something which is real and true for yourself. And sometimes all these ideas of what the world is, gods and religions and rebirth or one life, you start to see that for what it really is is the mind moving, allow the mind to be still. That’s where you find truth. And the most important truth which a person needs is the truth of contentment, of happiness, of freedom, of peace. Sometimes we don’t know how powerful freedom and peace it is, the truth of love. All these great religious words and spiritual words, but people don’t understand what they mean. In those deep, blissful experiences, somebody was telling me the other there they managed to get one of these somewhere else. And another time when they were very young, afterwards they were just they loved the whole world for a month or something. So, yeah, of course, that’s what happens because love is peace. Love is letting go. This contentment is freedom. These are all the same word, pointed to the same thing. And. What is love? The door of my heart’s always open to you no matter what you do. It’s not nonjudgmentalism. Allowing things to be, allowing yourself to be, allowing the whole world to be that’s peace. Making your peace with the world, the armistice with things you hate. Learning to live with things. Not always fighting them, not trying to get rid of the thoughts in life, but embracing the thoughts in yourself and in others. Being at peace with yourself. Being content rather than always wanting more. Love, peace, contentment, freedom. These great words which you can’t think, you can’t make, they all come when you stop thinking, when you stop making, when you stop doing me. They were all there in the middle of your heart. There’s an old simile which I’m going to finish off with. This is a dinky dai ajam brahm simile which I always tell in meditation retreats towards the end. Because when people do retreats or when they work in life, they’re always searching and chasing for happiness, or chasing for enlightenment, or chasing for what actually, Ajian Chai used to say was the tortoise with a mustache. Chasing for things which don’t exist. But the one thing we are always chasing for is happiness, fulfillment, peace, truth. And it’s like the simile of the donkey chasing the carrot. Because in Southern Europe, anyone who’s ever been to Southern Europe, they still even these days, or perhaps it’s just for the tourists, but they used to use as their transport donkey carts. And donkeys are some of the most stubborn fellows. They will not move unless you really have to force them or use psychology it. So what they usually do is to put a piece of wood, tie it to their back, and on the front of the piece of wood, on the end of a string, they dangle a carrot. Maybe a foot or 2ft in front of the donkey. And the donkey sees that delicious carrot and moves towards it. And because it’s tied to their back, tied on the end of a stick, which is tied to their back, when they move forward, the carrot moves forward. And so as they try and catch the carrot, they always moving forward. The carrot moves forward, they move forward. They never quite catch the carrot, but they pull the cart as they’re going along. That’s how they get the cart to be pulled. They can understand, as a simile of life, that you’re always trying to catch the carrot. The perfect relationship, the best marks at school, the happiness, the fulfillment, the truth, the enlightenment. Whatever it is, it’s always like they’re trying to catch the carrot. It’s right in front of you. Sometimes you can see it there. It’s so close. And you move towards it and it moves away from you. You run towards it and it runs away from you. It’s no matter how fast you walk, it always runs away from you. Because it’s attached to the end of a string or the end of a stick, which is tied to. Now it seems that donkey will never catch that carrot. However, there are a few budhist donkeys in the world who are smart. And this is the way those donkeys catch the carrot. And this is a story of your life in your enlightenment. That donkey sometimes gets so frustrated, he runs as fast as he can after that carrot. This is how to catch the carrot. And then, like your life, how hard are you trying to run, trying to get the carrot, fulfillment, love, whatever else you want in your life. Riches. You’re running really fast. But the donkey comes to the Buddha said to one Friday night, and he hears the magic word stop. So his donkey, running so fast, stops, but he needs courage and faith, because as soon as that donkey stops, that carrot, because of momentum, goes even further away from the donkey. In fact, it goes further than it’s ever been before. But the donkey’s got wisdom. Because it waits. And that carrot goes as far as it’s ever been in its whole existence. And the donkey is still just waiting there. It’s not doing anything, it’s not chasing the carrot. And then the carrot starts moving very slowly at first and comes closer and closer to the donkey when it’s at its usual distance. Now it’s actually coming towards donkey very fast. And all the donkey needs to do as it swings to the other end of its pendulum is open its mouth and the carrot comes to the donkey. That’s how the carrot is won by the donkey. You run as fast as you can, then you stop. You have faith, encourage as it goes away, and you wait. And the carrot comes to you when you stop. Carrots come to you when you race. The carrot goes further away. Understand about life the more you strive run after things crave want, desire. The carrot just goes away. But you stop and the carrot starts coming to you. It’s not easy thing to stop. To stop, you have to be in a present moment. You have to stop thinking, stop doing, stop wanting anything. Be absolutely still, like standing on the road of a hillside. And enlightenment, peace, joy, love, it all comes to you. That’s the way to find truth, to stop. And truth, happiness comes to you. I’m going to stop now. Going to stop coming here for two months. So happiness is now going to come to you. Thanks very much. Okay, any questions about this evening’s talk, including the donkey Simile? No questions going. Okay. This has some announcements from I got a question about yeah. You. AHA. This is one of the most difficult things in the world to learn how to stop. Imagine that you’re in a car, you’re going down the highway and you take your hands off the steering wheel and feet off the pedals. Stop.
7s
It’s scary. Yeah, because you’re not in control. A lot of times we’re all control freaks. We can’t even stop thinking. We can’t stop listening, we can’t stop doing things. We always get involved rather than standing back and just absolutely still. Meditation is the art of stopping. It’s a difficult thing to do. We think it should be so easy. So we tell ourselves, stop. That’s not stopping. That’s more doing things. Like the old simile, which I give. Someone says, Stopping is letting go. So say let go. Come on, let go. I’m telling you, let go. That’s not letting go, that’s controlling. I know love. Come on, love yourself. Come on, you stupid thing, love yourself. It’s completely opposite of that. You allow things to be, you let go, you relax. You don’t control things, you don’t manage it, you don’t measure it, you don’t say good, you don’t say bad. Because controlling comes from that. So stop all this measuring and comparing. Who’s the best, who’s the worst. I’m better than him, but worse than her. Stop all of that. You can’t compare yourself. You can’t compare this moment with the next moment. You stopped. When you do that, the mind stops moving. It stays at home, comes inside and mindfulness starts to get very bright. You get blissed doubt. Not only just blissed out, but wisdom doubt as well. That’s what they always say, that the truth is inside. Inside the moment, the present moment. It’s not the next moment, it’s not the last moment, it’s now. It’s in silence in the middle of this. It’s in the middle of the moment, the middle of the silence, the middle of the mind. So hard to find that middle always moving somewhere else because we’re always doing it’s a mental training in meditation in the silent times to have a nice home where you can just do nothing at all and really relax. Absolute no doing, just being. Moments of peace. Many times people have those moments and just sitting by the beach, nothing to do. All the problems in the world, all the things that need to be done later on, but not now. But moments of silence, moments of peace, moments of acceptance. Moment moments when they love the world for as it is. They’re not trying to fix it. Not trying to fix themselves or fix their partner or fix the house or fix the world. Not fixing anything, then you’re not in a fix anymore. Okay, thanks for that question.

Buddhism and Sexuality | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Buddhism and Sexuality | Ajahn Brahm
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Ajahn Brahm explains with kindness and wisdom where Buddhism stands on issues related to sexuality, starting from the basis of Buddhist morality which is about refraining from harming oneself or others.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 18th July 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


Buddhism and Sexuality | Ajahn Brahm

[ Robot generated transcription – expect errors! ]

Hello. As usual, when I come here on a Friday night, I don’t bring a talk with me. Usually I haven’t got a clue what I was going to talk about, but this evening somebody just whatever’s fresh in your mind, I suppose, what you talk about. The last question that was somebody asked me before I came in here was an interesting question is you may have seen in the newspapers there was in the Anglican church there was a person who’s about to become a bishop, but he was a homosexual and he got knocked back. And so somebody was asking me if that happened in budhism, what would happen? And so it made some nice little start of a talk about Buddhism and sexuality. Should have mentioned that talk before budhism and sex and then wouldn’t have gone out the door. Oh, this is interesting. But we start off with like sort of homosexuality. It brings us an example of how we apply Buddhist wisdom and budhist values to things of the world. And whenever we put Buddhist values, especially moral values, and the Buddhism has many moral values. The Buddhism is known for its morality, for its tolerance, for its peace, for its nonviolence, which are very strong moral values. It’s known for its compassion, its kindness. But in particular, it’s known for its wisdom, especially in the terms of morality. And that wisdom what’s always guided me throughout my life as a senior monk, when people have asked me to actually pronounce on moral issues, first of all, I say I haven’t got the right to pronounce for you. I’ve only got the right to pronounce for me. No monk speaks ex cathedral like a pope, not even sort of the senior monks. All a monk can do is actually to try and help a person make the decision for themselves on what is good and what is wrong. But in particular, there’s one teaching which the Buddha gave to his son. His son was called Rahula, which was interesting, means feta. Imagine you call your son ball and chain. I think you could understand why he called him Paul and Shane. Because once you have a son or a daughter, then you’re in prison for 1820 years, maybe longer. But once he sort of told his son that, never do anything which hurts yourself or hurts another person. And that was the basis of what we mean by morality. Why? What’s wrong? What’s bad? Anything which hurts another or hurts oneself. And so you can actually see whether it’s with sexuality or with euthanasia or with, like, an animal who’s sick. And you take them to the vet, that story. The person who took his big Labrador dog to the vet, he only had an eye trouble, and the vet picked him up, turned him upside down, had a look this way and that way, and said, I’m very sorry, you’re going to have to put your Labrador down. What? He’s only got a bad eye. It’s not because he’s bad. I’ve got to put him down. I’ve got to put him down because he’s heavy. That’s today’s joke, folks. It. It. But sometimes we face these more these more problems of putting something down or the problem of homosexuality or the problem of euthanasia and always go back to harm is it harming somebody or harming oneself? And these are basic the basic two precepts which I ask people to keep. Sometimes people can’t we have budhist five precepts sometimes people can’t keep five precepts somehow they can’t count to five especially the fifth precept, which is alcohol. They can’t count that far. So I tell people at least keep two precepts and those two precepts are not doing anything which hurts yourself or hurts another person and from that actually you can draw out what’s good and what’s bad and it makes a reason why we have morality because what sensible, wise person would hurt themselves or hurt someone else? If you’re wise and sensible, you never do that. But sometimes, because of what we call the defilements of the mind things like greed, hatred, ill will which sometimes obsess us or because of like drunkenness sometimes we do do things hurt other people or hurt ourselves out of craziness. So by checking am I doing this? Is it hurting somebody or hurting someone else? That’s the basic check. And if you find it’s not hurting, it’s not harming, but it’s actually helping somebody, helping the world, then that’s okay. Go ahead, do it. That’s basic morality, basic virtue in Buddhism. So when we come to something like homosexuality, you say, is it hurting or harming? And then it makes the answer very, very clear. It doesn’t really depend on whether it’s homosexuality, heterosexuality celibacy. It’s not. The thing in itself is the problem. It’s how people behave within that framework. And just homosexuality, heterosexuality celibacy. That’s not the point. It’s what you’re doing with it is the point. As a monk. So before, as a monk, sort of, I was a heterosexual, not a homosexual at all. But having come to know this of homosexuals, it’s interesting. It’s like, as a man, most heterosexuals become afraid, first of all, of homosexuality. It’s a barrier you have to go across. I remember one occasion early on in my life here in Perth. One of the anagarikas, the drivers, because in Mark I’m not allowed to drive myself. So we had one of the drivers took me into town one day. I had some business in Perth and we parked in one of the multi story car parks in HayStreet, I think it was. And the anagarika with me insisted on going to the toilets, but he refused to use the toilets in the a car park. He said they were dirty, but he said he knew there’s one toilet in the foyer of one of the cinemas, I think. I’m not sure. It was in Hay Street or Murray Street somewhere. And so I said, okay, fair enough. I’m an easy going monk. So when he went in the toilet in one of these cinemas, I stood outside waiting for him to finish. I was standing outside there in my mug robes. He was taking a bit of a while and this young man came up to me and said, excuse me, have you got the time? I’ve been a monk a long time, and sometimes I’m very, very naive. And as a monk, you don’t wear watches. So I said, I’m sorry, I haven’t got the time. Then he looked at me in a very strange way and started walking away. And then the penny dropped. I realized that. Have you got the time? Is one of the oldest pickup lines in the world. I later found out that that particular cinema was a wellknown pickup place for gays. And there I was, standing outside the it, and I started to sweat as this man turned around. He looked at me and in the most effeminate voice said, oh, but you do look beautiful in that robe. The suspense was about to have a heart attack, and fate forced me. The anagarika came out the toilet and rescued me just in time. I really told him off. I’m never going to allow any anagarika to use that toilet ever again, especially with me standing outside. But that was my gay experience as a monk. So a lot of the time there is actually a fear which comes up and sometimes you can actually see where all of the problems come from and not facing that fear of something different, something which you don’t know. And because of that, that some sometimes people do have problems when maybe their children turn out to be gay or turn out to be lesbians. And I’ve got many letters from people, especially in more what you might call conservative societies in Malaysia and Singapore, and saying, I’ve just found out that my son is gay. What should I do? And it’s really a sad thing that we should even have to ask that question. And I said, as a Buddhist, you should always remember that the Buddhist loving kindness where we say that may all beings be happy and well. Remember writing this answer to this, lady, don’t you chant every week? May all beings be happy and well. The door of my heart is open to all beings. Isn’t your son one of those beings? Doesn’t matter if he’s a homosexual, heterosexual, celibate or whatever he is. The door of my heart goes out to everybody, no matter who they are. So I said, doesn’t matter if he’s a homosexual, heterosexual or whatever. Love your son. That’s your duty. The point is that once we have that encouragement we realize that this is what our heart tells us. What sometimes society tell us or what conventions tell us is something that’s wrong. We get embarrassed, we get upset. But that’s going back to the basic morality of Buddhism. If you’re going to be rejecting your son or rejecting somebody just because of a name, because of a convention, is that really kindness? Is that really helping someone or harming them? And straight away we find out that’s actually harming somebody by not accepting them for who they are. When we actually have a child or a friend or accomplice not accomplice. We’re not burglars. We have someone we know sort of who’s a homosexual. It doesn’t matter sort of what their preferences are. What is important is actually how they deal with that. Whether they’re a good person or a bad person. Whether they are someone who’s trustworthy, faithful, responsible. So as far as I’m concerned, my idea of that sort of morality, it doesn’t matter if you’re a heterosexual, homosexual or whatever you are, as long as you make use of that in a wise, compassionate, virtuous way, you’re not harming others with your sexuality. Obviously somebody who is like a paedophile because it’s quite clear that so children who’ve got not that much control and certainly there can be the problems with power, a person in power who’s older, more mature, with somebody who’s much younger and more immature, the older person can very easily have control over the younger person. That’s not right because there’s not a sense of fairness there. People might say it’s consensual, but it’s not consensual in the case of, like, pedophilia. And so that’s some in which you can say is harming and it’s hurting others. And we all notice the results of people who have been sexually abused as children it creates a huge amount of hurt and harm. So it’s very clear that in Buddhism that is immoral, that’s wrong. It’s the same with, like, students and their teachers. That also is wrong because again, it’s the power just makes your relationship sort of unfair and wrong. It does again create a lot of problems and difficulties. So that’s why that you can actually make it very clear why these things are wrong, why they’re immoral, because of the harm and the hurt which it gives in life. This is the same with a person who just runs around from relationship to relationship or cheats within relationships. That hurts the other person because in a relationship, we trust each other. We trust each other to be doing the right thing. That’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. Now, maybe in the world, in business especially, people say they can’t keep that fourth precept. They have to lie, they have to tell Porcupines every now and again because of business. But okay, I don’t really agree with that. I think that even in business, actually you can be honest. And actually in the long term, that would do well for your business, for your career. You’ll be like an honest person. Other people trust, and trust is important for business confidence. But at least if you think you can’t actually be honest in your business, if you can’t be honest with other people, at least be honest with one person in your life and that’s the person you live with. Because if there’s no trust between two people, then it becomes a very, very lonely life. You can’t open up to another person and to have that trust in, like a relationship, the other person has to have that love and that forgiveness to actually to allow you to open up and to say things which some times you feel embarrassed about. It’s one of those things in a relationship that you know there’s one person you can actually open your heart up to and even admit to tell them terrible, terrible things which you’ve done and be understood and not be criticized. Sometimes you haven’t got that person in your life as in the relationship. Sometimes you adopt a monk because monks are great. You can tell all sorts of things to monks and we never tell anybody else. And also, we’re very uncritical about what you say. Because a lot of times that the monks understand, just like in life we do make mistakes sometimes and those mistakes, if we we keep them inside can become so great and so huge they cause us an enormous amount of suffering. We’re guilty. We’re afraid of other people finding out. A lot of times those mistakes which we make the things which we think are very terrible about ourselves are actually very, very small more but we keep them to ourselves. They grow to immense know. Usually I tell it’s like the simile know the times as a monk. I don’t think I told a story just a few weeks ago, but I’ll tell it again. The time as a monk when he used to sit meditation in the jungles alone in the middle of the night when it was dark. And in the jungles in Thailand there are elephants. And elephants are not like the elephants in the zoo. The elephants in nature they sort of pick you up with their trunk and they bash you around all over the place. It happened to a monk in Sri Lanka who nearly came very close to dying attacked by a rogue elephant. There’s also tigers which eat you. They look upon monks as dinner. So there’s all these and it speaks snakes in Thailand, which also can swallow. You remember the hundred species? I was told this when I first went to Thailand by a very I thought he was a very, very kind person. But I changed my opinion of him after he told me this. He said there’s hundred species of snake in Thailand. 99 are venomous. They bite. You in big trouble on the hundredth. One strangles you to death. They’re all dangerous. So the forest in the jungle is a very dangerous place. And so you’d be meditating alone at night with no protection, and you’d hear these sounds, the jungle sounds, when it gets dark and you can’t see anything, you can’t see to the end of your nose. You hear these sounds of the animals walking through the jungle. You most of them would be small animals, but every now and again you’d hear the sound of a big animal. And sometimes that big animal will come towards you. You’d hear its footsteps approaching. And as it’s approaching, you forget your breath and you start thinking about the animal. What is it? Is this one a tiger? You think, no, no, it’s just too small for a tiger. Their footprints, you know, the footsteps are just too soft. But then you’ll listen a bit more closely and hang on. That’s not a small animal at all. That’s a big animal. And you’d actually check it out. That’s not even just a middle sized animal. That’s a huge animal. If that’s a tiger, that’s a big one that’s coming right towards me. And out of fear, you’d open your eyes to look at the tiger. You know how big the tiger would be? It’d only be a tiny mouse. Not even a big mouse. It’d be a tiny mouse. And you look at it and that was your tiger, because you’d exaggerated it. It’s amazing the way the mind amplifies things. Small things become huge. Little mice become huge tigers because of fear, because of the negativity of the mind. It’s the same way that small thoughts in a human being become huge faults. Which is why it’s wonderful to be able to actually just talk them out with another person, to take them out in the open. Like opening your eyes in the jungle and you see it’s not such a big thing after all. That’s why we have relationships, to be able to open ourselves up to other people, so we can hear what we’re saying, so we know what we’re doing. We realize it’s not such a big thing after all. But of course, we need that trust in that other person. And that trust in the relationship is most important. And that’s why if we play around outside of our relationship, it hurts the other person. It’s a breach of trust. It’s a break of these two people who come together and say, well, you’re going to be my partner. Not just a sexual partner, but spiritual partner, an emotional partner, a heart partner, somebody I can actually be with, who will never criticize me. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Someone who will actually listen to me and understand me. Someone who can actually say, there’s those words which I keep on repeating. Here the door of my heart’s open to you. No matter who you are, no matter what you do with all your mistakes, I’ll always be your friend. I will never criticize you, put you down. I will understand you. I’ll never measure you or compare you. I’ll accept you as who you are. That’s like the trust of a relationship. I think that’s important to have that in any relationship. Which is why when people actually break relationships and they sleep around with other people or do this and do that, I don’t think it’s really. Something which helps, but I think it’s something which harms it harms this trust until sometimes people become so mistrustful they don’t open themselves out to anybody in life. They keep everything inside and they fester as a result. Because of they fester, they get all these terrible psychological problems lack of self esteem, guilt, fear, all this whole wage of difficulties which stops them being happy and being free in life. So if we have any sexuality, it’s very good. So keep it with a person we can trust to make it much more than just simple getting pleasure out of life, but having relationships. And that actually brings me up to the other part of Buddhism and sexuality, the pleasures in life which we have, okay, that’s part of the lay life to have those physical pleasures. But actually, after a while you start to investigate those things, to know those things. And after a while sometimes there’s a sense of bit of boredom comes in, a sense of being there done that comes in. And this is actually important as a Buddhist, actually, to realize that there is another way other than that sexuality. First of all, we have to restrain that sexuality because it comes unrestrained. It just creates more pain and difficulty for us when we do restrain it. From time to time, we find a sense of like peace inside of ourselves and. Because there’s one thing which the Buddha said about sexuality there is happiness there, but the happiness is very short lived and there’s lots of problems afterwards, difficulties in the sexuality. And sometimes we think, isn’t there something else in life other than this? And there is something more than that. So after a while with people messing around with sexuality, sometimes they want something more in life, a deeper happiness, a deeper sense of peace. Which is why, after a while, the people start to do meditation. And anyone who actually goes on a meditation retreat, have you ever noticed that one of the things you have to do on a meditation retreat is keep these things called eight precepts, which is celibacy for the time of the retreat? And the reason one does this is because it actually helps put all that energy, which you’d usually waste in sexuality, into some other place, into the mind, inside rather than outside. And. It’s a way of developing a deeper happiness. We all need to restrain our sexuality. When you’re married, you have to keep your sexuality within your marriage. As a young man, a young woman, you have to restrain yourself. Otherwise you get into big trouble. So there’s always a sense of restraint. In a retreat, you take that restraint a bit further of like no sexuality, to see what that is like. Sometimes when we want to know sexuality, sometimes we want to know its opposite of no sexuality to get a perspective on it. This is all the time when we need to know things. We need to know sometimes when those things aren’t there, to get the perspectives. And so after a while, if one just restrains that sexuality for a little one and has no sexuality, no one understands what sexuality is all about. Which is why Monks can actually talk like this, because we’ve taken ourselves out of the game. We’re like the umpires who neither play for Fremantle Dockers nor the West Coast Eagles. We’re the umpires. We stand in the middle outside of the game. Which is why you can actually see both sides. And as you take yourself out of the game of sexuality, you find there is another way, which is like the peace of the mind through meditation, which is why, like, monks are celibate. But if monks are going to be celibate, you have to have some support for that celibacy, which has to be like the meditation. Which is why that sometimes when you see especially like, Catholic priests who have to be celibate I remember many years ago, I used to go and teach in a prison in Bunbury, and the only way I could actually do that was actually to spend a night in Bunbury. And the Catholic priests in Bunbury were compassionate and kind enough to actually let me stay in their parish house. So for a couple of years I used to go there once a fortnight, I think it was, and stay overnight with the Catholics. I used to joke at the time I’d infiltrated the headquarters of the opposition in Camp Bumbury, but they weren’t the opposition. They were my friends used to have some good fun there. Remember one time that all the other priests had gone out that night. Because they have to be on call if anyone needs any special attention. And I was the only one in the house, and there was a knock on the door because somebody needed a priest in emergency. So I answered the door, and this poor Catholic lady, they saw me and just went into shock. I told the priest after I said, please never do that again. Just let a knock on the door. And they’ve respected a Buddhist monk at a Catholic next to the Catholic cathedral. Well, I had good fun then. They’re very kind, very kind to me. But I also had some good chats with them, especially after I finished off, finished teaching in the jail and come back in the evening just about what it’s like to be a Catholic priest, what it’s like to be a monk. And I thought I was very actually moved with compassion that as a Catholic priest, they never had any support for their celibacy. They had to be celibate, but they never really knew why or how they could remain celibate. They were always out there with the people, never have any time really in retreat, never have any meditation to really get them something which was much more deeper than sexuality. So it was a lot of endurance, which they had to make, I felt, sort of a lot of compassion. And for those who actually made it, I thought, well done. It’s something which is very hard to do. But especially for a Buddhist monk. Not only do we have, like, rules which help us with the celibacy, we have the beautiful meditation which actually takes away the need for sexuality. It’s a different way of living. The reason is that after a while in your meditation, like what you were doing just a few moments ago when you were meditating here, you get some peace and a quietness which is so beautiful and so lovely that it’s better than sex. And that’s one of the selling points which we have for meditation these days, happiness better than sex. With none of the problems in meditation, never have babies. And actually, a lot of people, actually, even though they may not get into the very deep meditation, they can actually feel what we’re meaning. There it is, a very, very beautiful happiness, a beautiful peace which gets more and more, which gets into no real big bliss status. And the reason is that you’re letting go of one happiness to get a happiness which is much more, much deeper. And. It. So when a person is actually celibate, especially as a Buddhist monk, you’re not doing this out of frustration, out of tension, out of trying to subdue the natural urges in the body. You’re fighting some other natural urges which are still right there, but even actually more profound than, like, sexuality. So it’s not a suppression. It’s a joy in celibacy, a joy in something else, which gives you the perspective. And what that sort of perspective means is actually you can be with people of opposite genders without any of that sexuality interfering. And it’s not a repress, it’s not playing games. It’s a reality. It makes it very helpful as a Buddhist monk to actually to be beyond that sexuality. So you can actually talk to all sorts of people. And it’s not that sort of that sexuality interferes with the exchange too often, especially if a woman is talking to a man, they never know whether that’s a possible sexual encounter there, whether it’s a partnership maybe happening there, whether the relationship possible. And so because of that, sometimes the opening up towards one another is done on different levels. If it’s like a monk, an asexual sort of person, an asexual friend, then there’s a different type of relationship possibility, a different type of opening up, a different way of talking with each other. It is knowing that the person is like the umpire, the referee. They’re not playing on either side. Also, the things you can say you won’t be able to say to others. And I find it very wonderful being in that situation where you can actually talk to people and then realize there’s not a potential sexual partner there that makes it much more free, much more rewarding. It’s like as a counselor, as a friend. That’s one of the advantages of actually that type of celibacy. But also it’s the advantage of being able to share one’s kindness out not just with one person, but with many people, without the problems which one can have in the lay life. With that sort of sharing, there’s actually like a trust can be built up with many people rather than just with one. A relationship with many rather than just with one. A love which can go to many, many people rather than just with one. Because sometimes when there’s sexuality, we have to have a sense of commitment to one sort of person rather than just an involvement. And because of that, that all of our energies are focused on one person. With celibacy, because that’s taken away, you can actually focus on many people and. And so that’s why we have this beautiful ideal of love in Buddhism, like the door of my heart’s open not just to you, but to everybody, whoever you are. So it’s in the sense of like having that love not just towards one particular partner in the world, which is what happens with sexuality, but actually spreading it out to many, many people and without the problems of sexuality. So that way, in the celibacy of monasticism, it has many, many advantages there as long as it’s becoming natural, obviously, that if that meditation doesn’t really gel for a monk or for a nun, and they don’t get into the deep meditations. If they don’t get happiness from their meditation after a while, you find that people who join monastic life after a while believe simply because that their happiness in meditation is not there. So they go back to the happiness of the world and sexuality. And it’s much better, as you all know, that if you’re going to be an unhappy monk, it’s best not to be a monk at all. If you’re going to be a nun who’s not happy, then best to go back to the laylife. There’s no sense of failure or a sense of blame if a person does this. In fact, usually there’s a sense of, oh, well done, you’ve given it a try, you’ve really given a few years and you’ve done quite a lot. That’s good karma, well done. So there’s no sense of like, judging or putting a person down because of that. And it’s one of the nice things about particular type of Buddhism or monasticism which we practice here, is one of the things which actually attracted me to become a monk in this tradition. Because when you become a monk, you don’t have to become a monk forever. You can become a monk however long you feel comfortable being a monk and you can disrobe whenever you like. And because of that, it meant that people weren’t going to stay as monks because of some vow they made many, many years ago, which now doesn’t really make sense for them. And so because of that freedom to disrobe whenever you want, it means that you only stay as a monk if you’re enjoying it, if you’re having fun, if you’re having satisfaction with your celibacy, not only with your celibacy, but with other things which you’re doing a monastic life. So because of that, that we have like a happy monk would. And a happy nunhood. And that’s actually quite fascinating in this world to have that, to have examples of people who are not sexual at all but still having very, very fulfilling lives. Because what it does, it takes away this idea in the Western world that sexuality is necessary and that you have to be sexual. What it’s doing is that those people in this world or in this hall right here who feel that sexuality is not so important for them. It shows you a group of folks, a group of women at Damasar Monastery who are saying, well, if you want to be sexual, go for it. If you want to be celibate, go for it. Both are possible. So often in this world, we tend to be compelled by the fads, the fashions of our society, the fashions of our world, people who say, if you haven’t got a partner, something’s terribly wrong with you. That if you can’t have a relationship, then you’re some sort of deviant, that you’re not the right in the head or whatever it is. And because of that force of fashion, force of what we’re expected to be, what we expected to live up with that causes so much suffering in ourselves and. The point. What I’m trying to make is actually by seeing people who are celibate happy, it’s giving you another opportunity. If you feel like being celibate as well, you can actually also be happy as well. You don’t have to actually follow what people expect of you. When you see a much wider range of possibilities presented before you, you can actually choose whichever one you feel appropriate at that time in your life. So if you want to be celibate, you can say, well, there’s a Bukham monks over there. They’re having a great time, so it can’t be all that bad. If you want to be sexual, fine. There’s a group of people in our Buddhist society and with their wives and with their husbands who are doing a lot of good work, that’s okay too. What you’re doing is actually freeing up the parameters of your life, giving yourself more options and being proud, being happy with the option you’ve taken in life. What it’s actually doing there is giving people responsibility and be given pride in their lives, giving themselves self acceptance, which is what really Budhism is trying to do for each one of us, whether one is homosexual, heterosexual or celibate. To be proud of that, to be accepting of that, not to compare it, not to say it’s better, it’s worse, it’s the same. We have a teaching in Buddhism about the word conceit. And it was a very powerful teaching which the Buddha gave about conceit, about pride. He said what pride is, is not just thinking I am better than the person next to me or that person over there, but pride is also thinking I’m worse than that person or even I’m the same. All judging and comparing of yourself with someone else, the Buddha said, is called conceit because if you actually look at actually how it works in your mind, as soon as you say I’m better than that person over there, you also think you’re worse than somebody else. That’s probably why you even think I must be better, because you also at times think you’re worse or you’re the same. Well, the Buddha was saying we don’t compare ourselves with other beings. We don’t say I’m better, we don’t say I’m worse. We don’t say I’m the same. Because how can you compare yourself with somebody else? Instead you accept yourself as you are without that comparison. If you are homosexual, be at peace with yourself as you are. You’re not better than anybody else, you’re not worse than anybody else, you’re not the same as anybody else. We don’t even actually any of those things. We don’t accept you’re, just you, that’s all. When you actually allow yourself to be, you give yourself immense amount of freedom. And when you’re not comparing yourself with other people, straight away you’re undermining this terrible thing we call lack of self esteem. Inside of us, guilt, fear, all these things coming. When we compare ourselves with other people, when we compare our sexuality with other people, when we afraid because we go against the conventions of some dogmatic people in the world, we’re not allowing ourselves to be we’re not loving ourselves, we’re not allowing ourselves to be free. And because of that we have lack of self esteem, depression, sometimes even suicide. So one of the wonderful things about Buddhism is actually giving oneself a sense of acknowledgment, a sense of acceptance, a sense of peace. As long as you’re not doing anything which harms another person or harms yourself, be at peace with yourself as you are. Don’t compare yourself with others. Don’t judge and. Even as a monk, you don’t judge. I’m the best monk in the whole monastery. I’m much better than a monk sitting over there. We don’t do that. We don’t judge at all. You know what it’s like sometimes in life. You’re always competing with others. That competition is one of the terrible things of our society. It’s so bad that even in school we compete with our fellow students to try and get the best marks, to get the places in university, to get the best jobs in life. We all know that competition sometimes does not help the school, does not help the business, does not help the society we’re in. That’s why, a long time ago, because I was a school teacher myself and I saw that in the schools kids competing against each other, trying to get the best marks. And in organizations, maybe in Buddhist societies, competing to be the best, which means, like, stabbing each other in the back, wasting a lot of time when you could be working together. I always thought that if ever I had any influence in education we should have a way of examinations at the end of the year. Year or testing a person, grading them the end of the year. Maybe sort of 60% your own personal efforts. And the other 40% averaged over the whole class. So if the whole class did well, you did well. If the whole class did poorly, you did poorly. Because that way it would be in the students interest, actually for the strong ones to help the weak ones, for them to have not just competition, but cooperation. It because we all know that in any organization, it’s not just competition, but cooperation is also important. To be able to succeed in a business, to succeed in life. Without that teaching our kids cooperation, when they go into the workforce, they’re just thinking about their own career, what they want, what they need. That their needs. Never think about the other people in the office when you go into a family. Just my needs. Never thinking about the other people in the family. We learn not to cooperate, but to compete all the time. Because competing is all about being the best. I’m better, I’m worse. I’m the same. Conceit again, cooperation is lovingkindness. Door of my heart’s open to you. Come in and we can work together. Which is why that sometimes that we need much more like cooperation. Working together with homosexuals, heterosexuals celibates with Buddhists, Catholics, Jews, Islam, Muslims, whoever. Working together, cooperation is important. We have time for competition as well. We see who’s the best religion. But that’s only half of it. A third of it, a fraction of it. Because sometimes I think that’s good in our present society, when all the different religions have to come together, when we’re all, as it were, competing on the spiritual marketplace of our world, then every religion has to get up their game, as they say. And because there was only just one religion which was available in our society, then there wouldn’t be that need to actually what I call market forces to really, actually get your religion together, to present it well, to meet the needs of the people and to do a good job. I think it’s one of the great things of our society that in one city we have all the different religions, even in Buddhism, many different Buddhist societies. So if we can actually keep the Buddhist society of West Australia in this place full, we have to make sure we meet the needs of the people. That competition can be very important, but we also need a cooperation to work together. One of the things which I have seen with religions in this world that people will not tolerate anymore, people putting down other religions they will not tolerate anymore. Just no religions putting up barriers against each other. They want people of religion actually not being hypocrites anymore. If we talk about love, we should start practicing it, which means we do say not just to fellow Buddhists, but to everybody. The door of my heart’s open, really with meaning. So not just playing around, but actually finding those bridges, making those bridges. Once those bridges are made, actually walking over those bridges to meet people on the other side, to be friends with them. When religions start to do that, when we start to teach not just by words, but by example, when we show people of different beliefs can work together in harmony. We can cooperate, we can be friends. We’re also showing the different sexualities of the world. We also can be friends. We can cooperate, we can work together. Are that everybody is included in in the one religious family. In the one sexual family. Homosexuals, heterosexuals and celibates. Sometimes you understand what homosexuals feel about being rejected, because even more deviant these days than homosexuality is celibacy. And it people think the monks must be really, really deviant. Can understand about a man looking for a girl, a girl looking for a man. I understand men are men and women are women these days having no sexuality at all. Wow, you guys must be really frustrated. That’s what actually they say celibacy is the most deviant of all. I’m very proud of being the most deviant. We deviate from this enjoyment of the sensory world, but what we’re actually saying is that bring everybody in together so which we can cooperate rather than compete. We can live together in peace and harmony that way that we can actually do something for this world. When I see that, whether it’s celibates or whether it’s homosexuals or any portion of the society being rejected like that, it sort of hurts my heart. I actually was hoping that the Anglican Church could make a strong stand and say, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a homosexual, whether you’re from Mars or you’ve Planet Zog, wherever you’re from, if you’re a good bishop, come in, you can be a good bishop. So in Buddhist monasticism, even if you’re an alien, if you’re a good monk, you can come out of space actually saying that it’s like an inclusiveness. And I think people can actually understand that that is the way we find peace and happiness inside ourselves as well, because it’s part of ourselves which sometimes doesn’t fit the standards of society. Part of ourselves now, which if we brought out into the open, we might be very embarrassed about. Part of ourselves which needs outing, as they say in Gay language. And the part of ourselves which we hide from others our secrets which we’re afraid to allow other people to hear those are the parts of ourselves in which there is much pain and much suffering. It’s wonderful for one day to feel that there’s one person or two people or many people or the whole world would accept even that part of you as well to accept you as you are, the whole of you with your faults. Because in that acceptance, in that peace in that acceptance, there is that peace who’s that sense of coming home, that acceptance of I’m okay. Sometimes you may think you’re weird. Sometimes that people have actually come up and told me of their weirdness. Sometimes they come up and say, but you’ve never heard this before. And I say, Listen, sir, I’ve heard that so many times. We all think we’re different. We all think we’re unique. We all think we’re original. It’s one of the things which I found out when I was a monk and people started telling me their problems. First time I heard that problem, it was unique. The second person who came up, I’ve heard that before somewhere. Third person. Here we go again. The same problems. Maybe dressed in different clothes, but the same problems. Something about oneself which one rejects, one doesn’t feel at ease with, or rather, which you feel society doesn’t feel at ease with. The idea you’re trying to live up to some ideal of a society. And you can’t do that because part of you is rejected by society, rejected by your parents, rejected by your loved ones, rejected by somebody or other. So you can’t feel free with yourself. Because this part of you which you feel if you’d really express would not be acceptable to others, you have this war inside of yourself, this tension. This is how I am. This is how I can’t be after a while, that’s of war. That tension inside causes immense psychological damage, immense psychic hurt. After a while, there comes a time when you let go, you let yourself be. You allow yourself to be. And that’s called love. That’s called freedom. That’s called contentment. All these words are coming from this pointed to the same object, the same thing. This is why I love these three words contentment, love. Letting go. Love is where you say the door of my heart’s open not just to a person, but to a state, to a thing, to a mind state, to part of you. The door of my heart’s open to this thing inside of me which I’m afraid of. Come in. I’ll embrace you, I’ll be with you. You can be my friend, I can be who I am. The door of my heart’s open to me. That’s called love. Letting go is stopping all this. Trying to be different. Trying to be the great monk. Trying to be the great wife. Trying to be the great father. Trying to be the great president. Trying to be the great this or that. How much time and pain have you had in your life? Trying to live up to somebody’s expectations, or even worse, trying to live up to your expectations. You never you never reach those expectations. After a while, you let go, allow yourself to be as you are. That’s why I’m never tense when I give these talks. I’m never afraid when I give these talks. This is who I am. I tell silly jokes. I’m not afraid of doing that. If you don’t like it, that’s who I am. I can’t do anything else. That’s that’s me. Those of you who’ve known me a long time, you know that. That’s all I am. So you relax with yourself. You allow yourself to be. You let go. People like it, don’t like it. You’re not doing this to try and live up to somebody’s expectation. You’re not doing this to please others. How much of your life have you spent trying to please others? You now the time to let go and be, to take off all those barriers, all those force, and just be. Let go. Let yourself be, which is being content with who you are, being at peace with who you are, when you can be content with who you are and. Then you can be content with others. When you’re content with others, you can be content with life. When you’re content with life, then you’re enlightened. You’re not craving for something different anymore for those people. Homosexual, be content. If you’re sexual, heterosexual, be content. If you’re celibate, be content. Learn to be at peace with yourself. Come home. Don’t worry what other people think of you. Don’t worry what you think of you. Don’t measure yourself against others. Better, worse, the same. And that way we can all find our place in this world, a place of peace. And as Buddhists, try and have a wide heart. Which is why the Buddha said that may all living beings be happy and well. Not just the human beings. Even those beings which irritate you to the cockroaches in your kitchen, the mosquitoes are landing your arm. May all beings be happy and well. Because those beings, even the little mosquitoes, are only looking for a bit of blood, something to eat. You’ve got plenty left. They don’t take it all. They always leave you some mosquitoes, being mosquitoes. That’s all. One of the things I found as a monk in Thailand, if you just leave them alone, they just take a little bit of blood. And also if you leave them actually to drink properly, then they actually take all that little stuff they put in there and it doesn’t itch so much if you disturb them, they leave some of this chemical or whatever it is stuff in your blood and it itches much more over if you actually just try and disturb them. They just go and sort of go and bite you somewhere else. They bite somebody else. They’d like two bits of suffering rather than just one bit of suffering in life. So just out of compassion for others, say, come bite me. Bite me, please bite me. Come on, bite me. And that and that way they’re irritating mosquitoes. Cockroaches. They’re troublesome. That’s why we love them. That’s why we accept them. Your husband is troublesome. Your wife is irritating. That’s why we love them. It’s just too easy to marry and love a perfect person. There’ll be nothing in that at all. That’s why we’re testing out ourselves. This is life, this is growth. The great university of learning just how much we can love and tolerate and accept and cooperate rather than compete. So if you got a very difficult husband, a very hard wife to live with, you are very lucky. You got the opportunity to learn the best. You got the best teach is you’re in the best class, the far stream to nibbana. So what we really mean there is, like, we have this wonderful sense of acceptance, encouragement of ourselves, to be at peace with things. And this is actually what I meant with just the rejection of some people in society or the rejection of some part of ourselves all coming from the same place. It’s hatred and ill will rejection judging long ride, the monk the harder it is to judge others so hard for me to say anyone you’re evil or your good I never actually met anyone who’s absolutely evil, never met anyone who’s absolutely good. I just met people, that’s all. Just met cockroaches, mosquitoes and kangaroos. Can you judge a kangaroo for being a good one or a bad one? They’re just kangaroos, that’s all. Just people are the same, that’s what you are. So that means where we can love ourselves and we can forgive ourselves, we can be at peace with ourselves, we don’t reject ourselves. When you can be at peace with yourself, you can be at peace with the world. And then there’ll be none of this silliness anymore. This guy cannot be a sort of a bishop because he’s a homosexual, or because he’s heterosexual, or because he’s celibate or whatever else. If he can do the job, then do it. It’s a good person. Let him be the bishop, let him be the monk, let him be the wife, let him be the husband or whatever else it happens to be. If it’s a job description, great, go for it. So we don’t go around judging people just on silly things. We don’t go around judging ourselves. I think that’s the way we can get some more peace and harmony in this world and stop all this silliness where we reject some people because of their gender, because of their age, because of their race, because of their religion. Surely that religion should be wide, is enough, should be far, seeing enough to overcome all of that. Religion should be spreading love, not hate. Creating more harmony rather than divisions, bringing people to be at peace with their neighbors. Religion says in the Bible to love your neighbor as yourself. If your neighbor happens to be a homosexual, well, that doesn’t matter. He’s your neighbor. Love him as yourself. No more, no less. Whoever it is you’re living with, be at peace with them, whether it’s your neighbor or whether yourself. Allow all these things just to disappear and fade away so you can be at peace in your life, in your work. We can cooperate rather than going around always judging all the time you so I’ve run out of time now, out of speaking about all sorts of things. I don’t know if it really was about Buddhism and sex and sex, or Buddhism and sexuality, or about homosexuality, or what it was, but I enjoyed the talk. I hope you did too. Thank you for listening. Bye. Okay, has anyone got any questions about the subject? Yeah, we’ve got one from the back. Yes. Go. I remember meeting a fellow in UWA a couple of years ago who started a therapy group called Racist Anonymous in the United States. And he put an advert, any racists, please come up. And all these racists would meet together and said, I’m a racist. Who are you? So I’m a Jew. I hate you. But it was interesting. Many of the people who are racists, they were racist. They were acknowledging it as a problem. They didn’t want to be racist. We didn’t want to hate people. And so those people actually are racist. I think there’s a part of them which would acknowledge that they’re not at ease and at peace with that state of affairs. It’s like a person being a drunkard, being an alcoholic, or a drug addict. They realize inside themselves there’s a problem there. They got to fix something. And. And this is actually, I suppose, appropriate way to deal with people with closed minds. All those closed minds are because of conditioning and actually to open those minds up with wider conditioning for people of all walks of life and to make friends with each other. The only thing I can actually say is maybe my own upbringing, because I went to a very poor my family were very poor in West London, and West London was supposed to be the rich part of London, but not part I grew up in, and I went to, like, a very poor, you know, just the local school. But there was people from all different ethnic backgrounds there. It was like a migrant community. There was Chinese people, Pakistani people, African people, people from Eastern Europe, and you played soccer with them all. And I didn’t care what colour their skin was or where they came from, if they were a good center half or a good right winger, they were my team and. And I became colorblind because of that. By colorblind, I mean, you couldn’t really see any difference between sort of the nature of a human being because of their gender or because of their race or their religion. And that was actually a marvelous conditioning for me. I think one of the things which we could do is to lease no stop no single religious schools. So not all the Buddhists don’t all hang out together. All the Muslims don’t hang out together. All the Catholics don’t hang out together, but we’re forced to live with each other, work with each other, that we deghettoize society. By that, I mean, once you start to play soccer with people from other races, religions, with gays, with lesbians, with whatever, I don’t know, that way all that conditioning of somehow they’re different than us disappears. So I think that’s one sort of practical way of trying to stop all of this. Remember after September the 11th, it was a beautiful article in the Guardian. I know you read the Guardian about and so was it declassing or taking really, in outer schools for. Because there was too many times that one particular group, one particular religion, would just go to their own church, go to their own school, marrying within the religion, and they would never have any sort of broad idea of what happens outside of their religion, outside of their class, outside of their country. And because of that, there did become that racism and that tribalism. You got a marvelous opportunity now of our present age to be able to travel, intermarry, go to each other’s churches, meet with each other, enjoy each other’s company, play on the same soccer team with people from all different races and religions. I think that’s marvelous, because when we meet each other, we can’t have that same prejudice. It oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you get angry at racist, actually, you’re buying into exactly what they want. You should put a little sticker on your car. Love a racist. Today it. No, it doesn’t say. It completely undermines a good example. This one of the monks in England, he told me he was on this train journey and he was going to give a talk some about three or four hour train journey. He had like a born again Christian came up to sit next to him to try and convert him. Which really sort of laying it on hard about Buddhism being evil. You’re just a child of the devil. You’re going to go to hell if you don’t believe in Jesus. Really giving it hard. And this poor monk could hardly say a word because this got harangued the whole journey. It was time for the monkey to actually get off of the station. He just put his arm around this man and said, didn’t Jesus say to love each other? I love you. And that completely flawed. The born again Christian. And so he didn’t know what to say after that. So people who want to convert you change you. It’s all the politics of hate, of ill will. So if you love a racist rather than hating them, you’re completely undermining sort of the fuel of their racism. They can’t handle that. They get confused and they think again. They feed on hate. If you give them hate, they get stronger. Okay, so I think that’s enough for this evening. So please go out and laugh. A racist this evening. Okay, so any announcements this.

Scratching In The Wrong Place | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Scratching In The Wrong Place | Ajahn Brahm
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Ajahn Brahm starts by addressing the question, “Is Buddhism a religion or not?” He goes on to talk about what Buddhism as a living practice is trying to achieve, which has nothing to do with dogmatic beliefs or adherence to a social hierarchy. The point of religion should be to develop our hearts and minds to become happier, more harmless and a benefit to others. Ajahn Brahm goes on to point out the need to see things in life clearly so that we “don’t scratch our bottoms when we’ve got an itchy head”. In other words, we understand cause and effect and we seek to deal with the causes of problems in life rather than blaming others.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 11th July 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


Scratching In The Wrong Place – Ajahn Brahm
(Robot generated transcription – expect errors!)


So this evening’s talk is probably a mishmash of many, many things decide to title afterwards when we find out what we’re going to talk about. But the just a couple of people have been asking me this question the last week and this is going to be the start of the talk. I’m not quite sure how it’s going to work out in the middle and the end, asking me about sort of is Buddhism a religion or not? It’s such not a common question. I thought I’d just answer it as I usually answer most people to say that Buddhism is regarded as a religion or one of the major world religion these days it’s different than many other religions. But what it’s actually doing is actually succeeding in changing the meaning of the word religion and actually giving religion a good name. Because in the past people have associated with religion, with religion, with dogmatic beliefs, with actually adherence to a hierarchy of being told what to believe, being told what to do and also with like wars and sort of fundamentalism and terrorism and. And of course that those of you who’ve been here a long time that know that there’s no terrorists in the Buddhist society of Western Australia and that we’re far from fundamentalists. And there’s also the hierarchy is not really there because instead of like a hierarchy, there’s like a heart hierarchy. In other words, the final authority is not myself or some other book or teacher. But the final authority in Buddhism has always been your heart, your own understanding, your inner knowledge. And very often I’ve described like the old forms of religion, of old forms of Christianity and Islam and other such religions compared it with Buddhism in that story of when I was 30 years ago, when I was traveling in India, was going up to Kashmir and overland. And in those days, the roads were very narrow, only single lane dirt roads going through the mountains. And the driver of the bus in which I was on was a Muslim. And every time that he went speeding around these blind corners with a cliff on one side and a ravine on the other side, it was very, very dangerous. And every time we asked him to slow down, he always would say, if it’s Allah’s will, we go over it’s. Allah’s will said, thank you very much. We’re not Muslims. And after that experience, we survived. Thank goodness, that’s obviously Allah’s will that I became a Buddhist and was managing to teach. And these days, what we actually say, that a difference. Well, one of the major differences is if that buz did go over, the Muslims would say it was Allah’s will. The Christians would say it was God’s will. As Budhists, we would say it was a bad driver. I think most Christians and most Muslims will now agree with that. The responsibility is with. We don’t go around blaming other beings. We don’t go around blaming our teachers. We don’t go around blaming anything. If we have had a bad meditation, we don’t blame the people who coughed. It’s not their fault. It’s your fault. Got an email from somebody who was raped when she was five years old. If you’re suffering, it’s not the person who raped you. Fought. Now, that’s a hard one, isn’t it? But this is actually Buddhism. Putting the responsibility right back on yourself, not blaming others. One of the favorite teachers teachings of Rajyancha. Very simple. But be careful with the most simple teachings. They can be the most profound. And you can use that one teaching to get you all the way to enlightenment. That your whole life. Solve all your problems. Every problem you can solve by this one simple teaching. Bye. It’s a teaching about complaining. Complaining about what happens to you in life. Complaining that somebody else’s fault is like having an itch on your bottom and scratching your head. What a powerful, deep teaching that is. If you go if if you got an itch on your bum and you scratch your head, does the itch go away? Of course it doesn’t. It’s so obvious. If you complain to other people, complain about life, complain about this, complain about that does the itch ever go away? Never does. In fact, the more you complain, the more you itch you, the more you scratch your head. As well as eating on your bum, you also start eating on your head as well. This is the problem with life. We create more suffering than we need to. So Zajan Cha’s. Great teaching. If you’ve got an itch on your bum, that’s the place to scratch. Nowhere else. The itch, the unhappiness, the suffering, the pain of our lives. If that’s inside of us, that’s where we’ve got to do the scratching, not somewhere else. So Buddhism is a religion? Yeah, but it’s changing the meaning of religion. It’s giving the responsibility squarely on oneself. One’s own happiness and one’s pain does not rely upon other people. And it’s a great teaching of Buddhism. It actually gives, like, hope, an opportunity. No matter what has happened to you in your life, you can still be fully enlightened. You can still be free. You can still be happy. You can still be at peace, no matter what has happened to you in the past. Now, the way to actually achieve that we have all this beautiful Buddhist psychology, buddhist understanding of the mind. As I was saying last week, the mind is the forerunner of all things. Your mind is the forerunner of all things. So you don’t need to go around looking to change other people’s minds, to change the whole world. The mind is the forerunner. Your mind is in control, full control of your happiness and suffering. That’s why you can become enlightened no matter what’s happened to you. Some monks come up to me and say, oh, well, yeah, maybe it’s all right. Vajam brahm. Maybe he was born maybe he was born sort of with a bald head. Maybe he came out of his mother’s womb in full lotus position. But I didn’t. People think that you’re born enlightened, let’s know. If you were enlightened, you wouldn’t be born. Everyone is born stupid. That’s why I have to come back here. No one in their right mind would get born again. Would you want to be born again? Would you really want to be in Nappies again? Would you want all those of you think you’ve done with school, do you want to go back to school again and go through all this all over again? Haven’t had enough yet. You know, one of those famous stories, people actually kids who were speaking when they were born, as it’s two or three examples which people have told me their children, when they were born, one or two weeks spoke. And the best one was reported in United States in a maternity ward when a baby came out of the mother’s womb and in front of the doctors and nurses spoke clearly. And the words it said were, oh, no, not again. It. Great bay with a sense of humor. I like that. Usually the babies, after speaking just the first time, they don’t speak again until they speak in baby language later on. Just a remnant of a past life. But anyway, sort of going back to sort of like being responsible for our happiness, it gives us the opportunity to be come enlightened. It gives us the opportunity to be free. If our freedom, if our happiness was dependent upon others, if it was dependent upon good luck, good fortune, being wealthy, being brilliant, being beautiful, being talented if it was dependent upon that, then most of you think, oh, I’ve had it. I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m not really talented, I’m not wealthy, certainly not wealthy. So poor me. But the point is that no matter what’s happened to you in your life, no matter how you were born, where you were born, what race, what gender, sexual orientation, whatever, everyone. Can become enlightened. Everyone can become free because it’s your mind is the forerunner, the chief. It doesn’t depend upon other people. And that’s why that sometimes we use extreme examples of people who had terrible life, terrible history who have been the victims of sexual abuse when they’re very young who have been the victim of poverty, who have been the victims of violence who have been the victims of deaths in the family tragedies in their life. We use these as examples of how even though terrible things has happened, they can still be free and happy. Because a few people sent me emails on such things. How can we be happy? They can’t sleep at night because their mother died breast cancer. How can I be happy when I meditate and record all these terrible things which happened to me as a child being sexually abused? How can I be free and happy again? This is how. Well, Buddhism says that first of all, your mind is the forerunner of all things. That’s where you look at the problem. You don’t try and solve the problem by seeking revenge, getting your own back, punishing the person you think has caused you pain, that’s scratching in the wrong place. Let them be dealt with by their karma. Again, in all religions, if you’re a Christian, you think that God will settle things after they die. God will settle a matter when they sort of go up to heaven or hell or wherever. If you’re Muslim the same that Allah will look after things, you don’t need to punish them. And if you don’t believe in any if any, if you believe in Buddhism, you say that karma will deal with it in the next life. They’ll have to suffer the consequences of their ill actions. You don’t need to punish them. And if you don’t believe in any religion, believe in psychology. Wow. For what they’ve done, they’re going to have to be in therapy for lifetimes. Whatever we know there’s consequences of our deeds and there’s consequences of other people’s deeds. So that’s, first of all, no need to try and punish the person who’s hurt. That is scratching in the wrong place. So you scratch in your own place. You start to look, say, okay, this has happened to me. One of the first things which we do is and I mentioned this actually in a talk I gave two or three weeks ago about obsessions. We actually focus on the rotten thing which happens to us to the exclusion of everything else. So it completely fills our mind in every moment of the day. The death of our son, the death of our mother, what happened to me when I was young. That’s all we ever see is the simile of the hand being right in front of your eyes. So close to your eyes you can’t see anything else in the whole world. For those of you ever listen to this on the internet or on tape, I’ve got my hand right over my eyes. In this hall there’s maybe 300 people. I can’t see any of you. All I can see is my hand. This is what happens to us when we get obsessed with something in our life. Something which has happened to us, some terrible tragedy which has happened. And. Because of our delusion, the wrong way of thinking. We hold it so close to us. It’s my mum who’s died, it’s my daughter who’s committed suicide. It’s my body which has been violated by this terrible person because it’s mine. It’s so close to us. It’s like putting your hand right in front of your eyes. Literally. You cannot see anything else of the whole world. Day after day, month after month, sometimes year after year, you’re consumed with the grief, with the pain, with the tragedy. You cannot see anything else. And with a simile of the hand, you understand just how to overcome that pain, that grief, that victimization. It’s not the actual act which is the problem. It’s not the bent which is a difficulty, it’s where you’re holding it. Perspective is wrong. All I needed to do to be able to see you all is not to actually get rid of my hand, not actually to get rid of the problem and think it didn’t exist, but to put it in the correct position. My hand belongs at the end of my arm. So I can see my hand, but I can also see each one of you as well. I can see the beautiful budha statue outside in the entryway. I can see the garden. I can see life as well as my hand. When we see the sexual abuse when we were young and all the other things which happened as well when we see the death of our mother and all the other happy moments we’ve had as well. If we see the cancer in our body and all the wonderful other things which lie in front of us, which lay behind us, which are happening now when we see the whole thing in perspective, we put it in perspective, then we find that we can cope, tolerate, learn, grow and even be happy in spite of what’s happened. Because we see the big picture too often. People have the problems. The cough which is disturbing our meditation, it obsesses our mind. And people actually sometimes complain afterwards. Ajan Brahm, can we get that camera to screen everyone before they come in here? So no one with coughs is allowed in. And anyone who coughs gets 50 lashes of the cat. Not for those nose. 50 strokes of the cat. You got a cat lives next door. You have to stroke it 50 times. You. That’s a Buddhist punishment. Can we do that? And of course not. The point is that, okay, so some people coughed. How many moments did people not cough it? And that’s the most important thing. Put it in perspective. At the time you had a tragedy, how many moments wasn’t there a tragedy in your life? When you put things in perspective, it gives the full picture of your life. It gives a full picture of the world you find yet tragedies do happen, but happiness happens in between as well. When we focus on the whole picture, then we find out, hey, it’s not so bad. It’s not so good either. It’s just life. Welcome to life. This is what happens. What do you expect of life? The thing is that when we only see the false, we just can’t tolerate it. It’s just too bad when we see the good things and only see the good things, we’re just being stupid. When we see the full picture. Yeah, there’s the good and the bad and they side by side. We can tolerate and we can learn. This is, again the thing with Buddhist psychology. We actually use the problems of life as learning experiences to free our mind. We learn from all of the pain and trouble of our lives. These things. Whenever there’s suffering in life, whenever there is a tragedy, whenever you have been raped, abused, mistreated, cheated, really bad, badly, real great pain. In Buddhism, we always call them growing pains. Opportunities to become enlightened, opportunities to learn and. To let go and to realize that there’s two sufferings in life. First suffering is physical suffering. The second suffering is mental suffering. And of those two, physical suffering is so small, the mental suffering is the important one. Physical suffering. You got little control about life. You get coughs, you get colds, you get sicknesses, you get cancers, you do die. It’s part of life. Welcome to our life. But the mental part, you have got some control there. And that control is learning how to let go and accept. And you find that when you let go and accept, you can be so peaceful, so happy, and have some of your best meditations when people are coughing. I had a wonderful meditation and thank you for all those people who coughed, because they reminded me that you can’t control. You have to let go. And that’s the way to peace. And that’s the way to freedom. That’s the way to happiness. I remember my teacher, Ajan Cha, had one of the greatest meditation experiences of his life when there was a big festival in the nearby village. And years ago, when they had these festivals, they got generators which made enough noise, but those generators were there to power speakers and those speakers were there to broadcast this music for kilometers around. And there was a so, noisy. And it was during one of those ceremonies or those festivals in the village that he had one of his deepest meditations in the noisiest of situations he couldn t stop the noise so he let go of the noise not the noise outside, but the noise inside. I don’t want this. I don’t need this. Can’t we get a quiet a monastery? Can’t we sort of get individual meditation cubicles air conditioned where you can actually control the temperature so you can just get just nice that is what we call the stream of the world of wanting, controlling, getting it just nice, getting it just perfect. Called it the stream of the world but I also called it I gave meditation retreat and I made a slip of the tongue. I said Buddhism is going against the stream of craving going against the stream of the world. And I said it’s going against the scream of the world. And I thought hey, that’s very profound and. Because Buddhism does go against the scream of the world. I want this or I don’t want this. Those are the two screams of the world. I want to be rich, I want to meet the most beautiful person in the world, someone who really cares about me, who likes me, who always understands me. I want to meet the perfect partner in the world. I want to be rich, I want to be successful and be famous. All the wants you want in the world. I want my footy team to win. I want to win the lotto. I want my kids to do well at school. Want that’s called the scream of the world. That’s one of the screams of the world. The other scream of the world is I don’t want. Why did this happen to me? This is unfair. This is really mean. Why do you do this to me? Why did she say that to me? Why is life so tough? Why do I fail my exams? Why don’t people like me? That’s a scream of the world. You know those two screams of the world I want, I don’t want. Buddhism goes against the scream of the world. And says, shut up. Stop complaining. Scratching in the wrong place. Even when terrible things happen to you, you use lovingkindness. You say thank you. You say, the door of my heart is open to you. The rape, the violence, the sickness to death. Thank you for coming to visit me. Strange thing happens when you do this. The most beautiful expression of this is the old story from the Udana. This is part of the Buddhist scriptures. If you read the Udana, it’s not quite the same as I say it. I’ve changed it a little bit. But the heart of the story comes from the Buddha himself, the old story of the demon who came into the emperor’s palace. It’s a great story to remember and tell your friends, because it solves again many problems. A demon once came into an emperor’s palace. The emperor was away doing some business elsewhere. This demon was very ugly, very terrifying, very smelly. And his language was extremely offensive. In fact, it was so frightening that all the guards, the ministers, the people who worked in the palace froze out of fear, allowing this terrible monster to go right into the heart of the palace and sit in the emperor’s chair. The. As soon as it sat on the throne, all the people in the palace came to their senses and said, who do you think you are? Get out of here. You don’t belong here. This is our emperor’s chair. If you don’t get out soon, you’ll be in big trouble. They started threatening this demon. Now, this is the important part. Every unkind word, every unkind deed, even every unkind thought that demon grew an inch bigger, more ugly, more smelly. And the language got worse. And that really made them even more upset. They got out their swords, they got out their sticks. They started threatening this demon, saying terrible things would happen to if it doesn’t move its butt right now. It. But at every unkind word, deed, or thought, the demon just again grew an inch bigger, more ugly, more smelly, and more offensive and. According to the story, this had been going on a long time before the emperor came back. And by this time, that demon was so huge, it was taking up half of the throne room. It was monstrous in size and also monstrous in appearance as well. In fact, as I usually say in the story at this juncture, it was so terrifying that even somebody like Steven Spielberg couldn’t even imagine anything so terrifying and ugly. And the smell coming off this demon would even make a maggot sick.
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And the language would be worse than you’d hear on the terraces of footy match on a Saturday afternoon when everyone was drunk. It was terrible. And at that point, the emperor came back. Now, the reason this was the emperor was because he was smart, he was clever, he was wise. He knew exactly what to do as soon as he saw this terrifying demon sitting in his chair and. He said, welcome, oh demon, thank you for coming to visit me. Why has it taken so long for you to come? Are you comfortable in that chair? Do you want some more cushions? Has anyone got anything for you to eat yet? Or drink? Thank you for visiting me. And those few kind words and kind thoughts that demon grown each smaller, less ugly, less offensive, less smelly. And at that all the people in the palace knew their mistake and knew exactly what to do. They had to be kind. So they went around and asking the demon what it would like to drink. We’ve got fruit juice, we’ve got tea, we’ve got herbal tea, we’ve got Earl Grey. What would you like? Would you like some sandwiches, seeing as you’re a monster? We’ve got some deviled ham or are you a vegetarian? Would you like a pizza? We’ve got monster size we can get out for you. Somebody gave him a foot massage. No reflexology. It really relaxes you and makes you feel good. And the monster actually said, well, can you massage my back? Because the scales were very, very sore with such a big head on the tailpine. So someone gave him a massage. And every kind act, kind word, kind deed that demon just go an inch smaller, less like, less offensive, less melly. And it didn’t take long with all this kindness. In fact, even before the pizza boy came back with his delivery, the demon was back to the original size when he came in. But did they stop? No. They kept on with the kindness until that demon got so tiny, so infinitesimally small. The one more act of kindness, and that demon vanished completely away. That’s how they got rid of the demon. And when the Buddha told that story, he said, we call those things anger eating demons. What a beautiful concept, an anger eating demon. The more anger it receives, the more and more monstrous it becomes. The more ugly, the more smelly, and the worse the language comes from it, the harder it is to endure. Can you recognize anger eating demons in your life? Your husband, your wife. The more anger you give them, the uglier they get, the worse their language becomes. The boss at work. Cancers. Their anger eating demons. They live on tension, ill will anger. Do you? Get out of here. You don’t belong because they’re sitting in the throne of your body. That’s why sometimes they don’t disappear, because you get angry at them. Your past, your history. The rape which happened to you when you were young, the death which happened in your family, the terrible tragedy which happened in your life. Get out of here. You don’t belong in my life. They’re sitting in the throne room of your past and you want to try and get rid of them. If you give those things anger, you find they go an inch bigger with every angry thought. They become more offensive, more smelly, harder to bear. Those are called anger eating demons as well. It takes incredible amounts of guts and courage, but it’s the only way to say to your past, no matter what happened, including the rape, including the violence and abuse, including the death of a loved one, and say, welcome. I welcome you into my life. I’m not trying to get rid of you. I can’t get rid of you. This is a past, an event which has happened. The more you try and get rid of it, the more it grows as a big problem. When you say welcome when. How can I incorporate and embrace you in my life then? That’s when that problem starts to grow, and each smaller and less offensive, less ugly, easier to bear, you start to incorporate it in your life, allowing it to be working it into your life, embracing it, saying the door of my heart’s even open to you as well. Unconditional lovingkindness means no fault finding. This has happened. I’m going to be with this. I’m going to make it my friend. When you make it your friend, you don’t necessarily like your friends, but you learn from them. You appreciate them, like your teachers. You’ve heard me say before Rajyan Shah’s, great advice. I hated mosquitoes. They would bite you to death in Thailand, especially when there was no mosquito coils. There was no mosquito repellent. There was no mosquito nets. And you had all this bare skin as a monk, bald head, no protection. We didn’t have these jackets on bare shoulders. And you were supposed to be tough and just sit there and allow these mosquitoes to bite you. And I was taught to spread lovingkindness to all beings. We used to chant every evening may all beings be happy and well. But that’s not what I said. And it I said may all beings be happy and well, except mosquitoes. I could spread lovingkindness to other people, but not to them. Just like some people here. They can do loving kindness to everybody except their wife. Everybody except their husband. Especially everyone except their ex. May all beings happy and well. But not my ex, not what they’ve done to me. But that’s not lovingkindness. Has to be the door of my heart’s open to every being mosquitoes. Even though they’re biting you unconditional lovingkindness even towards those people who’ve hurt. It’s incredible when you can actually make that jump of courage, faith, whatever you call it, and you can make your enemies your friends. Some years ago, I described this in a meditation for having a circle in your mind. Inside a circle in your mind is all the people you like, all your loved ones, and all the things about life you like, and all of your past which you like, and all the future which you think is going to be good. Everything you like past, future, friends, about yourself, life all is inside your circle and all outside of what you don’t like. And the further away from your circle, the worse you hate them, the worse you dislike them. I said in your circle. Imagine this circle inside is all stuff you really like, just on the edges you don’t really like. But it’s not such a big problem. And the further ways, the more the enemies, not just personal enemies, but the enemies you have in life, the enemy of the past, are those things which really happened to you, which really hurt your enemy in time, and all your fears of the future, your enemies of the future, and. The more you hate, the more you dislike them, the further away you are from your circle. And then your meditation. Start expanding that circle, imagining it enlarging, until it starts to incorporate all the things which you don’t really dislike, you don’t really like, which is sort of in the middle. Incorporate them into what you like, what you accept, what you embrace. Expand the circle even other, until you start embracing those people you don’t really like at all. You dislike them, but not all that much, expanding it until you start including the things which actually you don’t like at all, and expanding it until you get to the things you really hate, expanding it into the things you really, really hate, the terrible things which have happened to you. When you expand it, all that circle gets so big you can’t see its edges, until it includes and embraces the whole of your past, the whole of your future, the whole of life, the whole of the universe. You allow it to come into the circle of your heart and. Lovingkindness. The door of my heart is open to everybody. All beings, all events, all of life. No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done, the door of my heart’s open. You get incredible sense of freedom that way. All you’re doing is giving lovingkindness to the demon. The door my heart’s open to you. And you find the biggest part of the problem gets smaller and smaller and smaller until it completely vanishes away. The rape which happened to you, the death in your family, the tragedy which occurred, the thing which you hate most about life, starts to get less and less of a problem. You’re including it in you’re, taking away what the Buddha called the mental part of the problem. I don’t want this. Why did this happen to me? You’re destroying that part of suffering, the worst part. And the demon just starts to vanish away. You incorporate that into your life and you don’t become a worse person, but actually you become a better person as a result of those experiences. You may find this hard to believe, but actually you become enriched by experiences which other people think have just been so terrible and you become enriched spiritually. What we call it in Buddhism is like dung. Offensive, smelly, terrible stuff. As soon as you get any dung, let’s call it straight shit on your hands. You want to wash it off straight away. But that dung, that manure, is great fertilizer. You dig it into your garden and you get beautiful flowers and trees. That’s why those experiences in your early life or this life or whatever, when you learn how to enrich or dig them in, to your wisdom, to your compassion, to your understanding, to you dig them in. Don’t throw it away. It’s great fertilizer. It’s smelly, it hurts. It’s a terrible thing to endure. Your we all know that you dig that stuff in, really dig it in, and I can guarantee you’re going to get some flowers. You’re going to get some fruit and your fruit will be much sweeter than those people who didn’t have those problems. Your flowers are going to be really fragrant because of what you’ve endured. And the fruit is so sweet. Not only did you give it to the monks and the nuns, I hope you give it to all your friends and they really enjoy it. Your hours not only go on the great shrines of the world, their fragrance is smelt by all your neighbors, they also enjoy, enjoy what you’ve achieved. What you’ve done is not just for you, it’s for the happiness and well being of other people as well. When you’ve dug those experiences into your life, when you’ve been raped, under, stood, forgiven, let go gone on. You can really give to other people. You can give compassion, wisdom. You can give a way out to this terrible problems and suffering which people feel when you’ve gone through grief, terrible grief. You’ve understood the way out. You’ve done that. You’ve been there. You’ve walked the distance. You’ve come out with understanding, with freedom. Understanding life, love, kindness. Imagine what you can give to other people. Those are the fruits, those are the flowers of your life. The spiritual gift of wisdom, which can let go. Compassion, which is so strong you can love even the most unlovable events of your life. And freedom. Freedom, which is not when you get what you want, but freedom, no matter what happens. Real freedom. Freedom from the vagaries of the world. Freedom from the ups and downs of life. Freedom from happiness and pain. Real freedom. You’re above and beyond all of that. You found the way out because this is what happens in life. Disasters do happen. Life is a mess. But your mind doesn’t need to be. When we know the way out, the power of the mind, we know the spiritual meaning of life. The world is one thing. Your heart is another. Other people have done there, done that. They’ve been through such terrible situations. They found their way out and they’ve told other people how to also find their way out. They’ve given beautiful teachings like the simile of the demon in the emperor’s palace about welcoming the pain of life in order that it disappears. Of loving the mosquitoes, of loving your past. No matter what’s happened, you find you can do that. You find that’s the way to freedom. Look, you can’t change your past. You can’t wish it never happened. You can’t somehow go back into the past in some time machine and just solve all the problems. What you can do is stop scratching in the wrong place, stop complaining me start loving in the same way. You could complain all you liked about the people coughing during the meditation and all it would do would be adding to the noise of the meditation with your noise and. It. Instead, we let go. We’re grateful for all those coffers, all those people who made the noise, for teaching us about life. The door of my heart’s open to you all. That’s why I can be at peace. You’re allowed to cough. You’re allowed to die. Life is allowed to go wrong. When I allow it to go wrong, it always goes right. It. That’s what I expect. So when I expect things to go wrong, it’s not wrong anymore. It’s right that it’s wrong. But I think that’s a nice place to stop this evening’s talk. It’s right that life is wrong. Thank you. So that’s a nice deep talk there about Buddhism is a religion or it’s a psychology, a practice or whatever. I don’t know what it is, but I certainly like it. Any questions? Yes. Quick one up here. Yeah. Beginning of your you mentioned about not seeking to find more suffering. Curious for an understanding of why the Tibetan Buddhist side tries to get a blade followers to go become Bodhisattva. I think the more I actually go to other places, associate with other monks, the more I see in the theories. There’s lots of differences, but in the practice there’s so much similarity even in different religions of the world. And really what we’re doing in there with the idea of Bodhisattva is like focusing on the compassionate part of Buddhism. And you know, you’ve heard me say before that even within Terravada, some people say you should do Samata sometimes we passionate, you do Karma, do insight. There’s no difference between the two. Even within a terravada religion. It’s the same practices, it’s just the emphasis. And when you do one, the other one comes as well. When you do Bodhisattva practice, you have to do the calm practice, the Arahat practice as well. You do one, you have to do the other really the same. It’s just what we’re really doing, that’s all. When you realize that if you really cultivate your own mind in these ways, overcome your problems, as I said, then you’re so rich that you have all this wonderful fruit and flowers to give to other people. She would become enlightened for the sake of all other beings. To help them, to serve them, to really show them the way out of the problems of life. Rape happens. It shouldn’t happen. We should try and stop it and limit it. But no matter what you do, it happens. Cancers happen. We try and live a nice lifestyle, eat good food, exercise, but it still happens. Accident and sickness happens. So we have to somehow learn how to work with life as it is. When we work as life as it is, we can actually understand that this is for our happiness, our freedom. We understand how to overcome those problems. And then once we’ve understood then we can really teach others. We can help others. How can any one try and help somebody else if we haven’t overcome the problems ourselves? We’re just big hypocrites. Now, one of my favorite stories about Mahatma Gandhi when he was studying law in London and. This was in his biography even in those days was a very impressive person. The landlady where he was staying came up to him one day and said sir, Mr. Gandhi, my son is eating too much sugar. He doesn’t listen to me but for some reason he respects you. Don’t know why, but can you tell him not to eat so much sugar? He said, certainly madam, I will tell him today days went by. Two weeks later the landlady came up to him again and said mr. Gandhi, I’m surprised that you’re usually so honest and so straightforward. Don’t you remember that two weeks ago I asked you to take my son aside and tell him to not to eat so much sugar and you haven’t done so why not? He said, I’m sorry ma’am, but I have told him but only this morning why did you wait so long to tell my son not to take sugar? Cause madam, said Gandhi, only yesterday I gave up eating sugar and such was the strength of that person. He would never tell anyone not to do what he was doing himself. He had to give up the sugar first before he felt he had the right to tell someone else not to take it. That’s why he’s such a strong and influential person. If you’re going to be kind and help other people, you have to done it to yourself first. One of the reasons why we can’t be kind to others, why we find we do get angry at others, is because we haven’t been kind to ourselves. We haven’t shown ourselves kindness. That’s why we find impossible to be kind to others. We only play at it. But it’s not real. Why we can’t forgive others. It’s basically because we haven’t learned how to forgive ourselves. This is where we start. Once you enlightened yourself, then that’s the greatest gift you can give to other people. And the greatest thing you could do to other people is to be kind, to be wise, to be compassionate yourself. There is no difference between the Arahat path and the Bodhisattva path. There’s no difference. The best thing you can do for others is be aligned. The best you can do for yourself is the best for others. Best for others is best for yourself. So there’s no real difference here. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to overcome all the problems of your life to be free? You don’t become free by getting rid of the demons. You embrace them. You become one with them. You love life. Not the nice part, not the bad part, but both parts. Then you’re free. No problems anymore. It’s easy, isn’t it? If it was easy, you wouldn’t have to come back again. So thank you for the talk, for listening to talk this evening. And I expect to see you back next Friday. If you really understood the talk this evening, you wouldn’t need to come back ever again. So thank you for listening to the talk. Now we get some announcements from our president saul. Oh, sorry. Yeah, please. Yes, sorry. Yeah, I agree with you. Thank you for that comment. I did actually try and say at the beginning when I was given a story of the simile about the bus going over the cliff, I did actually mention maybe it wasn’t strong enough or just didn’t hear it, but that’s only some religions or some parts of religion. And again, that many parts of what I’d call, like, modern Christianity and modern Islam sort of don’t go towards that, blaming other people, but take more responsibility for themselves. And it’s a very good sort of symbolism of going through a terrible experience and a resurrection is actually coming from oneself, not coming from another being transforming understanding what the problem and transforming the demon into your best friend. That sort of transformation is where freedom comes from. It doesn’t depend upon a religion, because I started off with, like the religious idea is an authority of somebody else. The authority is yourself, your experience, your heart, and doesn’t really matter what gender you are, what race you are, what sexual orientation you are, or what religion you are, what you ascribe to the human heart, whether you’re a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or no, believe whatever is the same. Whether you’re a woman or a man, okay? They say men are from Mars, women are from Venus, but the mind is from the same place. It’s just the icing on the cake is from different bakeries. But what’s actually underneath all that icing just, you know, the human heart is exactly the same. Doesn’t matter what religion or race. That’s why when you talk to the heart, you actually transcend all of the differences between human beings and even difference between animals and other beings as well. Call that heart the mind, the chitter, the essence of a person. And that’s why you do get beautiful similes from different religions, different cultures, which you can always embrace as you put all together. So I really apologize if you thought I was putting down other religions, but I do put down other parts of religion, including other dogmatic, which are always like, holy to the now, which are always like, telling you what to believe rather than encouraging you to find out for yourself. So thank you for asking that question, a very nice question. And I apologize if I was offensive, because that wasn’t my intention at all.

The Power of the Mind | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
The Power of the Mind | Ajahn Brahm
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Ajahn Brahm talks about the power of the mind and how the mind can be further empowered for the benefit and happiness of ourselves and those around us. Meditation is a way of feeding and strengthening the mind, not just in this life but for many lives.

The problem these days is that people know how to feed the body and keep it healthy, but don’t know how to feed the mind. People have material wealth but lack happiness and inner well-being. This is why it is so important that we seek to develop our minds so that we know how to overcome the inner obstacles and find inner happiness.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 4th July 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page. 


Ajahn Brahm – Power of the Mind

(Robot generated transcrition – expect errors!)

For this evening’s talk, just something which has came up. I’m just going to talk about the power of the mind. A nice interesting topic, because while we’ve been meditating, that’s what we’ve been doing, empowering the mind. I’m going to talk about the mind, its power, and how that power can be used for the benefit of happiness of not just yourselves, but all other beings as well. Just wait for the last people to come in and then start talking about the power of the mind. Sometimes when people look at religions, sometimes they wonder what the purpose of religions are, what the purpose of past like Budhism are. And I just was thinking earlier on today that there’s an old saying that it’s not a very good Buddhist saying. They say you give a person a fish, you feed them for one day. You teach a person how to fish and you feed them for life. They also make lots of bad karma at the same time. But if you teach a person meditation, actually you don’t just feed their body, but you feed their heart for many, many lives. And. And sometimes we don’t realize this. That the power of actually feeding the mind. One of the problems with our modern society, modern world, is we’re so materialistic. We feed the body, we train the body, we look after the body. But we’re still not happy. There’s still people with great emotional problems, social problems, who can’t hold a relationship together, who can’t even hold a relationship with themselves together, let alone with another person. They’re not at peace with themselves. They’re not happy. They have problems inside, they have guilt, they have anxiety, they have depression, they have loneliness. Even though they may be wealthy. I always remember that time I went to do a blessing ceremony in a house in Shelley on the riverfront, a huge mansion. And there was only one person staying in there alone, had no friends. Very wealthy woman, but had no one to share her wealth with. You could see. It was just so sad. Be much better to live in a small home’s, west apartment in Bentley somewhere, and police have some friends there. At least that’s how I would think. And so sometimes we look too much on the superficial nature of happiness in the world, thinking that happiness only lies in wealth and health. Not realizing that there’s something much more important, which is our mind, our inner world, our heart, that which lies in the center of all of this. Because if that’s not right, if that is hurting, doesn’t matter how much wealth you have, no matter how healthy your body, no matter how good your prospects, you will kill yourself, you will die. Because the heart of the mind is sick. Which is why that we recognize in Buddhism, and you recognize this for yourself the biggest pain, the biggest suffering is always the suffering inside. Which is why that you can even teach a person how to fish. You can make them wealthy. But that still doesn’t solve the problem. The problem is with the mind. And if people’s minds are happy, if their minds are content, if they get it over the sicknesses of the mind, such as like ill will and anger towards themselves or others or towards life. Anger towards themselves is called guilt. Anger towards others can be envy. Jealousy or just plain old agro. Anger towards life is depression. All of these negative states of mind which come because we haven’t learned how to feed the mind, how to train the mind. Now, first of all, that people even doubt in our western world that the mind exists. Which is why I have my party trick, which you can always play at parties when you’re starting to have a discussion about spiritual matters. When people say that the mind is just part of the brain, you can ask them are you happy or are you sad? And if they say they are happy, then you ask them with the index finger. Can you please point to that happiness for me? I’ve done that here before, so I’m not going to repeat it again. But you can try it at home. Are you happy now? Point to that happiness for me. And people can’t do that. I’ve done this in auditoriums in Malaysian, Singapore and have all these thousand people waving their hands up and trying to point to happiness, or trying to point to sadness, trying to point to anger, trying to point to depression. Are you depressed? Where is it? You don’t imagine these things. These things are real, but you cannot locate them in space. You cannot locate them in your body. Why? Because these things belong to the mind. They don’t belong to the body. The body lives in space. The mind lives in its own space, mind space, if you like. You know you’re happy, but it doesn’t exist in your body. It’s not your brain is happy. You know, you feel, say, guilty, but it’s not your brain feels guilty. It’s not your nose feels guilty. It’s your mind feels guilty. That mind is that mind is what contains happiness, sadness, envy, depression, lack of self esteem, peace and contentment. Also a part of the mind. It that’s why when we start to understand the nature of this mind and its importance to our life and other people’s lives, we learn how to train the mind to feed the mind, to empower the mind. Because once a mind is empowered. Then it can do huge amounts of things, not only for your own happiness, but can serve the world, can help, can do amazing things. Which is why I’m calling this talk the power of the mind. We come across the power of that mind, especially when we start meditating, because this is what meditation is doing. It’s empowering it. Mateacher Rajyan Cha always used to say, and it’s a very profound saying, that to exercise, to bring health to the body, you have to exercise it, train it, and feed it well, but especially exercise. That’s why sports people have to do long hours in the gym, pushing up weights, training, running, because that’s how you make your body fit and healthy. And that’s why in schools and colleges, we always put a lot of effort into training the body to make it fit and healthy so it lasts long and we can do things with it. But we don’t train our mind, because to train the mind, my teacher Ajan Chai, used to say, you don’t train the mind by exercising it. You train the mind by stilling it, by calming it, by giving it rest. That’s the way you train the mind and make it fit and healthy. The more you think, the more you move the mind, the weaker it gets. You try to gain wisdom by thinking. All thinking is like a satellite orbiting the object. You think about things, around things you never actually penetrate to the heart of things. The more you think, the less you see. It’s an old saying, but when we stop the mind, when we make it still, not only do we see deeply, but we gain great power of the mind. I understand this because when we meditate, what we’re actually doing and this is an important part of understanding what meditation is all about, what we’re doing, we’re calming half of the mind and we’re keeping the other half very, very active and powerful. The two parts of the mind which you’ve heard me say before, the two parts of that which we call the mind are the passive and the other one is the active mind. The passive mind is sometimes called mindfulness awareness, alertness, knowing, consciousness. All these words which point to that part of you inside which can hear these words, that which is seeing when you’re looking at me, that which is feeling, and that which can hear the thoughts going through your mind. That’s a passive part of the mind. If you call it mindfulness alertness, knowing, consciousness, you can understand what I mean by the knowing mind. And there’s another part of the mind which is the reactive mind. That which reacts to what I say, that which reacts to what I do, that which moves into thoughts, into ideas, into complaining, liking, controlling, managing, manipulating all that active doing part of the mind, which is why I called it the doer, the active part of the mind. With most people these days in modern Western society, the active doing mind takes up all of your energy. You spend so much of your energy thinking, managing, fixing up faults, controlling, manipulating, getting by doing this, because there’s so much to be done, so much of the energy goes into that doing, controlling, managing, fixing the active part of the mind that literally this heart. Anything left for the knowing, for awareness, for alertness. So much so that our alertness, our knowing, is very, very dull. Not only are we only half awake when we’re seeing, we’re only half seeing, half hearing, half knowing, half feeling, because the energy in that part of our mind is so depleted. Not only we are only half knowing and half seeing and half feeling, we’re not really fully, deeply knowing and seeing because the knowing has got no energy, but also the knowing, the knowing, the energy of the knowing is what we call in mind science inner pinas. It’s a strange thing that people who are depressed, people who have a lack of inner happiness, are dull in their senses. When you’re depressed, what you see, you see dullly. What you feel, you feel dullly. What you know is like known in a mist. You cannot penetrate deeply. But when you’re alert, when you’re happy, when you’re uplifted exhilarated, then what you see, you see far more richly, far more deeply. The more energy goes into the knowing, the more happiness you have in the mind and the more clarity as well. Inner happiness is energy of the mind. Which is why that sometimes one monk in Thailand said this. It’s not a very good saying, but I’ll repeat it. He said that life looks so good after a strong cup of coffee. What he meant was he was borrowing energy and putting into the mind. And when the mind was energized, everything looked so nice and so wonderful. But unfortunately, that caffeine or coffee is just borrowing energy, which you have to pay back later. And this is the problem. But with meditation, you are actually empowering the mind. And the mind is getting brighter, seeing more deeply, but also becoming more happy. This is actually why, a few weeks ago, the University of Wisconsin found that Buddhists were the happiest people in the world. Science proved. So if you say, why I’m a Buddhist because Buddhists are the happiest people in the world. And why is that the case? Because more and more the energy goes into knowing and less goes into doing. Buddhists are notorious for their passivity, for the ability to let things go and not to react so strongly to the difficulties in life which come along from time to time. We become more accommodating, more peaceful, more passive. And because of that passivity not always controlling, manipulating, complaining you find you have much more mental energy to know and to see. As a young man, I must have been certainly a Buddhist in my previous life because I knew, even as a young man that I was very alert and a very happy young man. In fact, I remember once when I was about to become a monk and I was going to this Thai temple in London and I was wondering where I can become a monk. And one of the monks in the Thai temple said, Go and speak to this guy. He’s just come back from Thailand. I spoke to him, and he didn’t really give me much information. I found later on he’d actually come from Ajan Char’s monastery. When I saw him a few years later, I said, Why didn’t you tell me about this monastery? And he said, Because I never thought you were serious. Not serious? I’ve been in bulk almost 30 years now. Why do you think I was serious? He said, Because you were too happy. You’re always smiling. You thought you had to be in great pain and suffering to want to become a monk. The only reason to leave the world because you’re having a hard time. No, that’s not the point. I left the world because I was having a good time. But I wanted a better time, that’s all. And that’s why I keep staying as a monk. But he thought I was so happy even then. I was happy as a layperson. One of the reasons was because I was very alert, had natural mindfulness, not such a controller. This is one of the reasons why I’ve found out the power of the mind. Even at school I was alert when the teacher was giving a lecture. I was actually listening, fully listening, without thinking about the party coming up later on that day. Without complaining, complaining, without controlling, without manipulating. I could listen with full alertness, in quietness. And that’s why I got a great memory. I thought every kid had a good memory. That’s what you think, that yours are normal and natural. But afterwards you find out what memory is all about and. Memory is like having a sponge, like your brain being a sponge. The only way it can soak things up is if it’s dry. It’s got no more water in there and it’s very, very dry. It soaks up everything. And that’s similar of being like a dry sponge is that you’re not thinking anything yourself. You’re not adding to what the lecturer is saying. You’re open, quiet, silence, listening, mindful, with all the energy going into knowing and no energy at all going into reacting, sitting there with complete listening, passive. That’s the way you learn. That’s the way you’re open to the world. You can’t be talking back to the world and listening at the same time as a similar I give in meditation retreats now. Modesty and serpentine. Many years ago, six Thai people were cooking food for us in the kitchen. When I went past, I saw six Thai ladies talking. There’s only six ladies in the kitchen. And I started figuring out if six people are talking, who can be listening? And the answer was no one was listening. This is what happens in life. Everybody is talking, but no one is listening. They’re talking inside. So when the teacher is teaching something, people are thinking they’re talking inside. That s why they never listen. That s why we never remember. Listen to the times when you always remember things. It’s called traumatic incidents in your life. If you have a terrible accident, isn’t it the case that you actually see it happening in slow motion before the car hits? Isn’t it right that you always remember that occasion? You’re traumatized. You can’t get it out of your mind. Why is that? Is because at that time you’ll pay full attention to what’s going on. You have to, because this is dangerous and. The more attention you pay, the easier it is to remember. This is actually why you can see the power of the mind. When you put all the energy into knowing, it means it’s very, very easy to remember. Not only easy to remember, but easy to recall for those people doing examinations or the examinations of life, remembering the instructions and what to do. This is why people who meditate empower the mind, have great memories, but so not only just to get great memories, also the more that we empower the mind just through stillness, through silence, just the more the mind can do things, the more malleable it is, the more workable it is. In particular, one of the most important things of our mind is actually to understand and to know exactly what’s going on in this world. Why is it that we have all the problems in life? And what should we do about them? So often that the suffering of life, according to Buddhism, comes from they call it ignorance, I’m a bit more gross. I call it stupidity. I always remember that one of the great sayings of Voltaire, this French philosopher and playwright who once said the only way to really understand, to fully understand the mathematical concept of infinity. Is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity. He was acidic, but people laugh because that’s very true. That’s how stupid we are as human beings. Have you been stupid? I’ve certainly been stupid many times in my life. I try and control things which are completely beyond my control. I try and do things which are completely beyond me. And some times when I fail, you suffer thinking it was me who done this and I’m hopeless, I’m useless. A lot of times that is what we call stupidity. And the way to release from the pain of life is through wisdom, through understanding, through knowing, through understanding what’s going on in our life. All the times that you suffer. Why, when you look at sort of life, when things go wrong, what do you expect? Thing is, our expectations are not in line with reality. We expect all of our loved ones to always like us and sometimes they don’t. What do you expect, people? We expect our husbands, our wives always to be just what we like them to be. What do you expect? We expect people to live forever. What do you expect? As we taught here many times before, even sickness, we always expect to be healthy, which is a silly expectation. When anyone is sick and they go to the doctor, they should never say, there’s something wrong with me today, Doctor. I’m sick. They should say, there’s something right with me, I’m sick again. There’s nothing wrong with being sick. It’s not against the law. So why do we say, there’s something wrong with me? When we understand the truth of the things this is part of life. We get sick. The sickness is actually the body trying to heal the viruses or is trying to sort of mend a broken bone or to do whatever else it is. It’s just the reactions of the body. This is the body. Does it’s natural to be sick? It’s also natural to die. What do you expect? You can’t just expect people to live to 60, 70, 80 years of age. People die at all ages. So when anyone rings you up and say there’s a close relation of you has just died, you should say, yeah, I expected that. Shock me. It’s true, isn’t it? If you actually understand the truths of the world, people die at all times. And it’s the stupidity, the ignorance would think, no, this doesn’t happen. When you go to the doctors and they give you an examination and say, you’ve got cancer, why does it surprise you? Are you somehow different than other people? It happens to others. Why shouldn’t it happen to you? Instead of why me? The Buddhists say, why not now? You can actually see that a lot of times the pain and suffering of our lives is coming from not accepting and understanding the reality of our life, instead of actually knowing it clearly. Passively. When we react to our knowing, we distort it all the time. We don’t see what is there. We just see what we want to see. We see life as it should be rather than it is. And that’s where the problems of life come. So when we take away the energy from the controlling, the knowing, the manipulator, that which bends life to try and suit us, we stop and just know passively. Let’s find out what life is all about. With no vested interests, with no preconceptions, with no wanting it to be this way and wanting to be that way. Let’s see it as it truly is. That is actually what passive awareness does. And it’s a very, very powerful mind state because it starts to see things as they true are not as we want them to be. When we see things as they truly are, there’s a great relief comes to us freedom from the stupidity of life. The reason why we suffer is because of the war which goes on. I call it the war inside. It’s the war between the way we want things to be, the way we want our to be, the way we want our children to be, the way we want life to be, the way want the weather to be, the way we want our footy team to be, the way want me to be and the way things are. You what happens in that war, the way things are and the way we want them to be. We try and change the way things are, the way life is. To suit ourselves, to suit our wants and desires. We actually try and change the world. We don’t want death to be. We don’t want sickness to be. We don’t want the world to be cold so we have heaters. We don’t want the world to be hot so we have coolers air conditioners. What I was saying when I went to Japan a week or two ago, they even sort of got to the point and they don’t want the toilet seats to be cold, so they’ve got hot toilet seats over there. You sit down on the toilet seat and it’s preheated for you. It’s very nice. You don’t want to get up again. That’s why there’s a lot of queues in public toilets. You too comfortable. Want to control the whole world. And where does that get you? Just gets you constipated. So the way the world is, the way we want it to be, that’s where the war become war is. And so we always want to change the world rather than change our wants. What passive awareness? US, this way of meditation? Just knowing. Just knowing. Not trying to change things. See how it actually is. We actually change our wants to the way things are. We come in line with the world rather than trying to force the world into line with us. When we do this, we come to a sense of peace with the world. Ah, this is the way the world is. We don’t want to control. We don’t want to make things this way and that way. That old Chinese story I remember from some time ago, which comes to my mind, are these two Chinese hermits, two Buddhist hermits who lived up in the mountains. One lived on top of the mountain, and the one lived halfway down. And there were such wise people, such moral people, that when the Emperor of China was having trouble trying to find a prime minister, trying to find a wise and honest person to help him run his government when he’d gone through all of these mandarins and important people, all corrupt politicians never change and all stupid out for themselves. He thought, who can I trust? Who is wise? Who is moral, who is incorruptible? I can get as my prime minister? And he thought of these two hermits, these guys were moral, these were upset, and also they were really, really wise. So he went with a few of his soldiers up to the mountain to the top hermit and said oh, great hermit, oh wise one, o moral one, please, can you take up the honorable position of Prime Minister of the Chinese Empire? Can you please sort of help me run my nation? And as soon as he heard this, the Hermit never replied. He just went to the stream and washed out his ears. The Emperor got the message. That’s not the sort of thing a hermit wants to hear. So he thought, uhoh, well, there’s still another hermit halfway down the mountain. So he tried the second hermit. He went down there and he was about to ask the second hermit the same question. For the sake of the empire, for the sake of the people of China, can you take up the responsibility to control and to help manage our empire? But before the second hermit could even answer, the attendant of the first hermit came running down the mountain and told the second hermit say, please, hermit, don’t use the water. There’s something filthy in it. This at which the Emperor realized he’s not going to convince any of these hermits and went back and got somebody else to be the Prime Minister. Because hermits wise, people know, just like controlling, managing others is just suffering. Imagine trying to control your children. Now imagine trying to control an empire. Oh, that’s big suffering you. So why do you want to control yourself? Why do you want to control life, the great empire of life? When you do, you’re trying to sort of go against the stream, the stream of old age, sickness and death, the things going wrong. Life is a mess, as I was saying that last week about life is a mess. There’s always you tidy things up. What is actually the whole movement of life is actually mess it up again. You fix one thing and it breaks again. You fix up part of your body and something else goes wrong. You fix up one part of the relationship and there’s other problems. Life seems to be going into, like, messiness all the time and. So a lot of times that we try and control too much and we never get any happiness that way. And also because we put all that power, all that energy into doing, controlling we get worn out, burnt out, we get worn out, burned out. We get sort of levels of depression and the results of depression are sort of ill will and anger. And when you’re really depressed and having a hard time, as I say, you get up in the morning, you kick the dog. If you haven’t got a dog, you kick the cat or you kick your husband or you kick your wife or whatever, you kick why do you do that? Because you’re upset and unhappy so much. Ill will, anger, negativity always comes because you’re burnt out, you’re tired. Now imagine instead of putting all that energy into controlling, doing things, you put all that energy into this the knowing, the passivity, meditating, just sitting there, doing nothing, just being and being and being and being until after a while you find that being ness, the awareness, mindfulness, passive awareness gets stronger and stronger and stronger. Not only do you know more deeply what’s going on, think oh, I’m stupid. Why did I do that? I wasn’t seeing clearly enough. I was doing something else at the time. You, but also you get this huge amounts of energy coming up in the mind. Mind energy. You become empowered. Not only is this the secret of Buddhist monks being the happiest people in the world, because they’re passive to put all the energy through meditation into their mind, that knowing gets empowered and the mind becomes bright and happy. But it’s not only happy you can do was last Tuesday night, I think in Armadill, I was telling people about an experience which I had when I was going to visit Canberra to do some teachings many years ago. Canberra is very, very cold, and this was a cold time of the year. After a couple of days there, I got a cold. And that particular day, somebody was going to take me up to a tour of the part of New South Wales. I wish they hadn’t have taken me, but they’d made all the arrangements. I just wanted just to go into bed and curl up and just try and sort of get rid of the cold. They took me all up here and up there all day. And we were late coming back to a Vietnamese temple. I was supposed to give a talk that evening. By the time I returned, I’d been out all day, no time for a shower. About ten minutes before, I had to give a talk, and all these people had come, maybe 60 people, 70 people, and I was coughing, sneezing, my eyes were running. And, you know, it’s like when you start a cold, you feel terrible. You got no energy at all. I asked them for a cup of tea and all they had was a bit Chinese jasmine tea. I couldn’t get a cup of coffee because it was a Vietnamese Mahayana temple. I like Teravada tea. In other words, tea from Sri Lanka. I call that Teravada tea. I got this jasmine tea and I felt really, really weak. And I started giving this talk and it was hopeless. Every sort of few seconds I had to sneeze or cough or just wipe the water from my nose was dribling out in public. It was very embarrassing. But worst of all, you just couldn’t keep your train of thought because you felt so tired and weak. So after ten or 15 minutes of this, I said, let’s stop. Let’s meditate, let. And everyone was quite happy to do that because they couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. And so we meditated for half an hour and so I relaxed, I let go, just went into the moment, went into silence, went into my breath. I’d completely put all my energy into the knowing and not into the doing at all. And after half an hour, not exaggerating half an hour, the cold had gone and I gave this really brilliant talk, smooth, articulate. All the ideas were flowing on quite lovely without sort of any break, and it really impressed people. So how’d you do that? The power of the mind. This is what you can do. You put all the energy into the knowing, the mind becomes bright and powerful and the mind can do some amazing things, especially when you have to give a talk and all these people have come and you really feel tired or you’ve got a sickness, you can stop that and just give a beautiful talk. The mind becomes powerful in this way. It becomes bright. And it’s not only just to start to control some of these things in the body. You can actually start to heal some of these sicknesses in the body. The Buddha says the mind is the forerunner of all things. It’s the most powerful. It’s a chief. The mind is sick. You know how that makes the body sick? The mind is depressed, upset the body’s love to get all these illnesses. The happiness of the mind increases the immune system, so they say. It strengthens it. It gets all these endorphins flowing through the body. Now, medicine knows that happiness is the way for good health. What is that? Happiness is the energy of the mind. You put lots of energy into the mind through your meditation. It’s a great way to be healthy, to be energetic, to be powerful in this mind. So if you have any sicknesses many times people practice meditation and they use the power of their mind actually to focus on parts of the body which are sick and. And the way you do that is once you’ve got energy in the mind, you feel its power, because you’ve been very, very still, very, very quiet, and you start to feel the mind brightening up and getting some happiness, even some bliss coming up. Then you can focus that energy on that part of the body. Maybe a knee, which is hurting, or maybe your heart or a breast with a cancer or anything else like that. You can focus on that area. Only when you’re still you got energy and power and you can just bathe it in beautiful energy, not with negativity, but with this beautiful, like, kindness, acceptance, peace. The power of the mind. You can feel you can do this. The mind has got that energy. When you put it down there, it’s amazing what it can do. The mind is that powerful. I remember when I was young, if I was playing soccer in the streets of London and I sort of fell over and grazed my knee, I’d always go to my mum and she would kiss it better. She’d put all the germs of her mouth on it, but it would never get infected, it always get well. Why was that? Because the power of belief and kindness. I believed it would work. It was an act of kindness and always got better, never got infected. This is actually what happens. The power of the mind is that strong. So if you can actually use that power of the mind, this is what you can do. There’s old stories I told of that people who taught themselves to death. A story of that guy who got caught in the back of truck in the United States some years ago. Refrigerated truck. On a Friday night. He was cleaning up a wind caught the door of the truck, slammed it shut. He was caught in the back of refrigerated truck all weekend, banging on the doors, shouting out. But he was the last one out in the yard. No one heard him. And he wrote his last words on the piece of paper because no one can stand more than a couple of hours in such subzero temperatures of a refrigerated truck. They found him on the Monday morning dead. But he’d written all these letters. He said that he realized very quickly when he couldn’t escape, that he was going to die. And he wanted to give something back to medical science. He wrote he wanted to tell people what it was like to freeze to death all the symptoms. So in great detail, he recorded the symptoms of somebody freezing to death. And that’s actually what they found written on a piece of paper on the Monday when they opened the the truck and found him in there dead. And those symptoms were classic symptoms medical science knew those symptoms very well already. The only strange thing was that the refrigeration unit wasn’t turned on it was ordinary temperatures but he’d thought himself to death. It that happens. The other case, which I thought I told these stories before, but people I think this is the first time you’ve heard that for a while. The other story was a very famous story which was done in England about 103 years ago, just the turn of the century as a man who was condemned to death by hanging in a jail in Brisk. Still, the day before the execution. The evening before, two psychologists had permission from the government to go into his cell and to lie to him and say that the law had been changed. He was still to die, but he would have his throat cut in the morning. He wouldn’t be hung. The poor fellow was faced without all night the following morning he would die by having his throat cut probably never slept all night. In the morning they came for him, tied his hands firmly behind his back, put a hood on him, a blindfold, and led him to the place of execution. What he didn’t know was the place of execution was just the prison washroom s there the two psychologists and a few prison warders and the governor of the jail and a priest, or someone acting as a priest asking for his last words gave him the solace of his religion. And then they carried out the execution. One of the psychologists drew the blade of one of the old razors people used to use to shave their face. Used to call them actually cutthroat razors. Only he drew the blunt edge of the blade across the man’s throat. It didn’t even scratch him. At the same time, one of the other psychologists turned on a tap close by. A man felt coal steel across his throat. He heard the sound of liquid running and he fell to the ground and died. He believed he was having his throat cut and he died as a result. Nothing wrong with him. This is the power of the mind. The power of belief, the power of the energy of the mind. If it can actually kill you, imagine how it can heal you. Imagine what it can do for you. That’s why recently, when I was in Singapore, during the SARS crisis, I told people, look, fear is the biggest killer of human beings. If you believe you’re going to get SARS, you will do it. Fear is what kills people. Because fear is a negative part of the mind. The positive part of the mind can be extremely strong. Just as it can kill you, it can also heal you and save you. But it’s not only just for that. That power of the mind can also liberate. It can liberate you. Especially from those negative emotions which cause so much problem in our society. Why is it that too many people are angry? Why is it too many people feel such guilt inside themselves? Why do so many people just really get upset when somebody dies and have grief? Tell you why. Because they’re lacking the energy of of mental energy, of happiness, of joy, of passivity. The more we manipulate and control our world, the more we’re subject to the negative emotions. Because we are weak minded. All our energy goes into surviving, doing, making, controlling. You’ve got no energy left where it counts. That’s why if you give yourself a few moments of peace all your anger and negativity will be lessened enormously. All the sense of lack of self esteem, depression, anxiety, grief, fear, anger, envy, jealousy. You give yourself a few moments of peace, real peace. The energies will come up in your mind, happiness will come and you’ll find there’s no cause for ill will. Ill will is a reaction to the unhappiness inside our hearts. When you’re feeling good, when you’re feeling happy, when you’re feeling elated, you can’t get angry at anybody. When you have a really good meditation, you feel on top of the world. People can tell you anything. Wives run away, children have all died, lost all your money, the house has been destroyed. Don’t mind. Easy come, easy go. But when you’re really tense, when you’ve had a bad day, when you’re tired, you’re depressed, one small little thing happens and you blow up. Because there’s no power in the mind beyond becomes very, very weak, and the small vagaries of life just blow you around so hard. That’s why the more one meditates. The Buddha symbol is like of one of these big stone pillars which I used to have in India years ago, still left there because they’re so strong, buried deeply into the ground, which cannot be moved even by storms. Because you’re buried deep in inner happiness, your own happiness, your own power, your own bliss of mind. So things of the world, they just cannot shake you. That’s why you don’t get ill will, you don’t get anger, you don’t get grief, you don’t get despair, because you got this source of inner happiness within you which keeps you like a rock. But the greatest power of the mind, as I was saying earlier, is the power of seeing deeply these truths. The only reason why Magnus or Nun sit up here and have got the authority to teach like this is because the years that we’ve spent in meditation empowering our minds. So we can see deeply into the nature of things. You don’t get wisdom from books. You don’t get wisdom from listening to people like me. You get wisdom by shutting up, by being still, by going inside that stillness of your heart, by making the mind is so quiet that all the truths of the world become come reveal to you the important things. Whatever the mind looks there, it can see just so deeply, so powerfully. Recently, I think here or somewhere, I’m not quite sure where, I’ve been giving these talks, talking about that clump of bamboo after a meditation retreat. Every time a person gets into a deep state of meditation, when their mind become become still, when they become blissed out and there’s enormous happiness inside, when they go outside afterwards, if they say, look at the stars in the sky, those stars are more beautiful than they’ve ever seen before. And. You look at a brick on the wall. My goodness, that brick is a work of art. Everything you see, you see in greater richness depths and beauty. It’s a weird experience when this first happens to you what’s going on? Why is the world look so beautiful? Why is it so rich? Because the mind is empowered through stillness. It’s as if you’ve got muscles in the mind which you’ve never had before. You can see deeply into things. And those things, when you see deeply into them, you see their richness and their beauty. That’s why sometimes when saying that clump of bamboo. My first meditation retreat in Cambridge as what was I, a 19 year old, I think, 18 year old, maybe, I’m not sure. Just after every morning, I was allowed to go for a walk. I went to the botanical gardens close by. I was supposed to be a walk, but all I could do was stand and stare at this beautiful clump of bamboo. Which looked so beautiful I couldn’t move from it. After retreat was finished, maybe a week or two later, I decided to go back and visit my clump of bamboo which had given me so much happiness, which had entranced me for hour after hour for nine days. When I went back there couldn’t see anything. It’s just a bamboo or me. What’s going on? Why now did it look me? But when I was on meditation retreat, it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. There was a bench next to it. I sat down on that bench and just stared. People must have thought I was mad and crazy. So on some sort of drug just open mouth, just staring. This beautiful club of bamboo mao couldn’t see it anymore. I was realizing the power of the mind. Actually can see deeply into things and can see beauty where you never saw beauty before. You look at a carpet during a meditation retreat, like a little carpet like you’re sitting on right now, and that becomes amazing. How wonderful that is. What’s going on? It’s not the carpet. It’s your mind. Your mind is becoming powerful. Energized decides to see deeply into things. That’s why after station people get into this amazing experience when everything becomes wow, look at this. This is amazing. And. But that’s only just seeing the beauty of the world as who was it Yates said to see a world in a grain of sand, see a heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, an eternity in an hour. See what happens when you meditate. Even a grain of sand becomes a whole world. An a small, tiny wildflower is a whole heaven which you can explore for days, years. Eons. There’s so much going on there. So what happens with the power of the mind? But it’s not just seeing the beauty in things. It’s also seeing the truth in things. Most important thing about the power of the mind is if you really want to find out the truths of this world, the truths of this existence, what this world is all about, what you are all about, you need to have that power of the mind to find out. The way of Buddhism is a way of enlightenment. And how does that enlightenment happen? You don’t get enlightened by reading books. You don’t get enlightened by talking about Buddhism or talking about things. You don’t get enlightened by listening to talks. You get enlightened by going in your mind. And by using the powerful mind to look inside and find out who you really are, or rather what you really are. What is this mind? Where does it come from and how does it work? Here you are going to what we called in budhism, the jewel in the heart of the lotus, the most valuable thing in the whole world. It is truth. Because the promise of truth is it liberates you once and for all from all the suffering and pain of life. Liberation. Freedom. That’s why these words liberation and freedom, which people tout in philosophies, in sociologies and even in political ideas. Freedom. Freedom. Was Itzi in the French Revolution? Liberty. Egality. Fraternity. Freedom. Justice. Brotherhood. But freedom. What actually is then, with all of the movements of the world, with all of your movements towards being free? Have you ever felt being free? Do you really feel that you’re a free person? The only time you really feel free, you’ll find, is when you’re at peace. Because because we’re always under the control of our desires, our wants, our needs. So we never feel free. Have you ever got a free moment? Every moment is free if you let go of the past and the future. It’s the past and the future which imprison the present moment, which squash it into being just a tiny area of time. But when you let go of the past and the future, you’ve got all the time in the world. Strange thing, the present moment looks as if it’s only a tiny fraction of a moment long. But when you get into the present moment, you find it lasts forever. This is what freedom is. When you let go of things, you find freedom. The more you have, the more enclosed you feel. The more you do, the less freedom you feel. That’s why we talk about the free world in the west. It’s not free at all. You find with the power of mind what freedom true really is, is not the freedom of desires, but the freedom from desires. Small change, but makes all the difference between enlightenment and suffering. We think that to get all our desires met, to change the world according to our ideas, the freedom of desires is taken in the world to be real freedom. That’s why the west tries to take away all of the obstacles to fulfilling your desires, to make every desire possible. It’s called the freedom of desires. In those worlds, no one ever feels free. Even the millionaires and the billionaires have got all the power to get whatever they want, whenever they want. They never feel free. But you let go of desires and have moments of contentment. Moments sitting by the beach at sunset where you don’t want anything in the whole world. It’s called freedom from desires. And that is real freedom. That is where the power of the mind sees where happiness truly lies. Freedom is that power. Freedom from desires is the mind being passive. Freedom from desires, the contentment in the moment is where you’ll find the happiest times of your life. It doesn’t cost you anything. You don’t need to get anything to be there. You don’t have to do anything or go anywhere or get anything. All you need to do is to stop. And there you are. The power of the mind. And that’s a nice place to end the talk this evening. So thank you very much for listening to the power of the mind. Okay, anyone got any questions about this evening’s talk? Yes. When you go to sleep, okay, first of all, what happens to mind when it goes to sleep? It’s still actually acting, but it’s on a sort of very low, dull state. That’s why sometimes we have dreams, but we can’t remember them. Reason why we can’t remember them is because the mind is very, very dull. In the sleep state. If you really sleep deeply, then you can just actually slow the mind down, actually stop it for a few hours. That’s why you can really sleep deeply. And when you wake up in the morning, you’re really refreshed. But a lot of times people wake up in the morning, they’re not refreshed at all. They’re just really tired again. No matter how much they sleep, they still feel tired because they don’t know how to sleep well. That’s why, if you really want actually to sleep well, sleep efficiently. When you go to bed at night, laying down there, do a little bit of meditation, present moment awareness, letting go of all the past and the future, everything which has happened today, good, bad, the whole lot, just throw away what’s going to happen tomorrow morning when you wake up and leave that till tomorrow. Who knows? You might not wake up, you might die in your sleep. What’s the point of worrying about it? People do die to sleep, you know, leave it all alone, say don’t worry about anything and then be silent, stop thinking. Just doing those first part of the meditation, present moment awareness and silence. You sleep very, very deeply and very well because you go to bed quietly and you go to sleep carrying no baggage into your sleep. When you’re thinking, worrying about past and future, you carry so much baggage into the sleep state, no wonder you’re tired, because you carry that throughout the night, tossing and turning, thinking, worrying. So this is how you actually can sleep well then the mind can actually rest in the morning when you wake up, you’re refreshed again, you feel good how do you control your dreams? That’s the best way controlled by letting go. I don’t know why people want to control the dreams. Sometimes they want to sort of think of when we get old, we want to think we’re young again. So we can play around with fantasies in our dream states. It or you can play around being rich or whatever. I don’t know. But why do you want to control your dreams for? Isn’t it much better just to be peaceful and quiet, have a really good rest? Especially we have to do so much in our world and our life. We’re so busy, so much is asked of us that we really haven’t got the time to waste time in sleep. We have to sleep well otherwise is that we won’t perform well when we go to work the following day. So see if you can do just that. The first part of the meditation present moment awareness and silence the. It’s like having a little child. They go to sleep they go into sleep very, very calm and peaceful. That’s the best way to control your dreams, by having none? Is that what you’re asking? Okay. Yeah. It’s also actually that when you empower the mind with lots of peace during the day, you don’t to sleep very much. Quite naturally, you tend when you do lots of meditation, you actually lessen your sleep needs. Because when the mind can rest in awareness, it doesn’t need to rest in sleep. So the more you have a powerful mind, the less you need to sleep. You empower the mind in meditation? Yeah. The main difference is they cost a lot of money to go in there. This is two. This is free. They wear sharp suits and nice hairstyles. I’m bald without any with just an old pair of robes. And this is much higher quality as well. Because some people do that and some people succeed in that, but only if they’ve got supporting conditions. It’s okay to will yourself for a goal, but you need supporting conditions as well. This is actually like the similar I say if you want to say to go to Paris, you can will, I’m going to go to Paris, I’m going to go to Paris. But you haven’t got an air ticket. No one’s going to let you on the plane. So you can have the great its goals, but you need the supporting conditions. Example I’ve known you for a long time. If you say, right, I’m going to sort of play footy for the West Coast Eagles, no matter how much you want to do that, I’m afraid you’re too old, you haven’t got a supporting condition. So this is the problem there with, like, goal setting. It has to be reasonable. You have to have supporting conditions. Not everyone can be rich, but everyone wants to be rich. And people actually these guys, actually, they exploit people’s fantasies and dreams of wanting things which they can never have and. This is exploitation. That s why whenever people actually charge for these things, you can always say, what are they charging for? If these guys were so, so good at setting goals and being wealthy, why would they have to go all over the world working? It’s like even people telling fortunes. My saying is, never trust a poor fortune teller. That so a lot of times people are stupid. And again, it’s just a lot of those motivational. They’re getting people to have some sort of power, but they’re not using it for the right purposes. Instead of being wealthy, how about being happy? Instead of looking at the outside world, how about like empowering and sort of helping the inner world? Which is what? Buddhism, the Kubo ajans, these are the teachers of our tradition. Keep on saying you don’t need to have a big mansion to be the happiest person in the world. You don’t need to sort of have the most beautiful partner to actually to have a happy marriage. You don’t need to have children who always become doctors and engineers to have a very lovely family. You can actually the happiness and the quality of society comes with contentment with the love the door of my heart is open. No matter who you are, no matter what you are, no matter who you are, no matter what you are it’s letting go of design are kids children I love you no matter who you are, no matter how you turn out there’s a love which doesn’t control and you love yourself even though you’re imperfect. Doesn’t matter who I am, no matter how I do give a good talk a bad talk. I’m a great guy, I’m a stupid guy, I make mistakes, I’m successful or whatever be able to love yourself no matter who you are is contentment it that is where motivation should be going to the real happiness within wealth you leave behind happiness you’ll always take with you wherever you go. Okay, so thank you for that question you just squeezed in. Go on.
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Okay. They can only project anger in securities onto you. If you’ve got sort of a place where those anger insecurities can rest. If you’ve got, like, a perch inside where the bird can actually settle for a while, if they try and project things onto you and you just literally let it go in one ear of your mind and out the other ear of your mind, it doesn’t settle there. So the insecurities, the anger, and the ill will, you just are at peace with it. When people actually project onto you, they need a screen to project onto, to find an image you can’t project into thin air. And this is actually the less you have inside of you to react to these things, the more peace and more happiness, the less these things can stick. You get what we call like a teflon mind. People can shout at you and you can be at peace. They can be unhappy. You can soak up that unhappiness without keeping any of it. It’s like if you’re ever in counseling and listening to people’s problems and troubles, as my teacher entirely used to say, you have to be like a dust bin for your friends. Allow them to put all their rubbish into you, but be a dust bin with no bottom in it so all all goes right through and you never keep any of it. So when people project or they chuck the insecurities, the problems, the difficulties into you, don’t keep any of it. So you can dump as much as you like in here, but I’ve got no bottom in my dust bin. It just goes right through the bottom. So my dust bin is always empty. Always empty to receive more people’s problems. Can’t ever keep any of them. That makes sense. So be like a dust bin, but with a hole in the bottom. Okay? So thanks for listening to the talk to.

Addictions and Obsessions

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Addictions and Obsessions
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Ajahn Brahm gives a talk on addictions and obsessions, including the skillful means to overcome them to to have freedom from them. This talk is not just about addictions to alcohol and drugs, but also about obsessive behaviours of body, speech and mind which are the source of suffering for both others and for ourselves. By overcoming our addictions and obsessions we become internally at peace, and a person who doesn’t create problems for ourselves and others.


Addictions and Obsessions – Ajahn Brahm

(Robot generated transcription – expect errors!)


Okay, just again, I’ve been traveling around, so I’m not quite sure what I’m going to be talking about this evening, but somebody mentioned a subject I haven’t really talked about for a long time. And that’s actually how in Buddhism, we deal with addictions and obsessions and what are the skillful means of overcoming those addictions and obsessions so we can feel a sense of freedom from these things. Because certainly that Buddhism is incredibly strong on its psychology in a way of making use of our mind, working with it to training it, to free it from all some of those obsessions addictions ways of dealing with the world which don’t really cause much happiness for ourselves and others. Obsessions and addictions are one of those parts of the mind which can cause enormous problems and difficulties for people. What are the skillful means of overcoming those addictions and obsessions? It’s not just addictions and obsessions addictions to drink or obsessions with smoking. It’s also some of the other obsessions we have, some of the ways we speak to the people we love, some of the ways we act in our family or in our workplace, even in some of the ways we think with our mind. These are all sometimes addictive, obsessive behavior, physical behavior, verbal behavior, or mental behavior which can cause us so much suffering and cause so much pain to others. So it’s worthwhile finding out about these things and knowing how to deal with them. So become a person who is internally at peace, happy with oneself, someone who doesn’t have many problems inside, nor someone who creates problems for others. We become like a person who’s kind to themselves and kind to others. So this is actually the end when we give up. Find a way to release our cells from addiction and addictions and obsessions. The reason why Buddhism is strong in this area is because it understands the cause and effect relationship of our mind. Now, how the mind actually works as a process and how it gets into these ruts, these dead end streets of obsessions and addictions. A dead end street is a very good simile because you get into these dead end streets and you can’t get out of them afterwards, you get stuck. You don’t know how to sort of remove yourself from this situation. But one of the great things which we have with understanding these things is understanding actually where they came from and how we get out of them. One of the great practices which we have in Buddhism, it’s part of meditation, but it’s part of ordinary life as well is the understanding, the practice of mindfulness. It and again, this mindfulness is this awareness of the inner workings of the mind. It’s as if we put a spotlight into our mind, into our thinking process, into our emotional process, into the way we react to situations in life. We put a spotlight onto all of that inside of ourselves to understand how it all works and why it all works and. It and just actually putting that spotlight of mindfulness inside and seeing what’s happening and how it works. That by itself is a huge help to overcoming addictions and obsessions. You see how it all works. There’s a whole process, there a whole route of thinking and emotional responses which we keep getting sucked into again and again and again and again. The same old habits, the same old processes, the same old ways of reacting to some of the difficulties in life. Whether we react to those difficulties by taking a bottle and getting drunk, whether we take to those respond to those problems in life with drugs or with other obsessive behavior like our bad speech or being hurtful and harmful to the people we love, or even being hurtful and harmful to ourselves, we see the whole process happening. Once you see this whole process happening. Then it’s not that hard to change the process. Our conditioned behavior of our mind, the way that thinking and emotions run, they run on well worn courses. The same routes we’ve taken before, the same piles, the same condition and responses. We become brainwashed into following. We become creatures of habit. And that’s what obsessions and addictions are. Habits of mind, habits of speech, habits of actions which we see are not going to be conducive to happiness once we see them as habits. We find the way to overcoming habits is always through this marvelous practice of mindfulness. It’s as if, and this is the simile which I’ve used many times it’s as if you’re in a room I know you can only see one door to move from that room to somewhere else. And you always take that same door, that same route and it always leads to the same place. And it’s not a very nice place you go to with some of these addictions and obsessions with mindfulness. You see, there’s a second door, another alternative, even a third door, fourth door, many doors. Mindfulness gives you more choice, more opportunities, different ways of dealing with the same thing. Mindfulness expands your options, gives you different ways of dealing with the same problem. You can see that in just little practices which you can do in daily life. As I keep telling people when they come in here, good exercises in mindfulness are doing things in a different way every time when you come into this hall. People who come into this hall regularly sit in a different place, not in the same chair every week, become creatures of habit. Don’t even come through the same door into this hall. There are three doors into this hall. Now, please don’t look at me as being a hypocrite because I’ve got no choice. I have to sit in this chair and I have to come through that door. Although this evening I was thinking of not coming in it because it was locked. Thinking, going back to Singapore. But I’ve got no choice. But sometimes I like doing things differently, coming through different doors just for the heck of it. I did that, I think, a few weeks ago. I remember, just instead of coming through this door, coming through that door over there, and people really surprised, what’s that jump bomb doing coming from that door over there? What it does, actually, when you do things differently, it wakes you up, it gives you more energy, it gives you more life. If you become a creature of habit, you die slowly. Your mindfulness goes. Those people who get into routines, eventually their mind dies. It’s called Alzheimer’s disease. That’s one of the reasons, I reckon, why people lose their mind. Because they just keep doing things the same old way, watching the same old movies on the TV, the same old self helpers, going to the same Buddhist society every Friday night, live on the wild side. Do things differently. I teach in meditation retreats. It’s great talking about sort of mindfulness. You start doing things a slightly different way and you understand. These are just examples. Well, sometimes I just didn’t actually get onto the breath meditation because I run out of time. I started a bit late. I’m sorry about that. But when we do breath meditation, one of the techniques which I found very effective on getting people interested in the breath is actually breathing backwards. You know how to breathe backwards? Breathing backwards means you breathe out first, then you breathe in. Most people breathe in first, then they breathe out. When you do breath meditation, breathe in, breathe out. When you say, Take three breaths, what breath do you start with? The in breath, don’t you? So you try it the other way around. Speed out first, then breathe in. You just try it. And it should logically, it should be exactly the same, but it’s not. It’s different. You’re doing things slightly differently. And that makes it far more alive, far more sort of new, fresh, and you have to be more alert with it. Or like in the morning when you first get up and. When you brush your teeth, which side of the mouth do you start from? Whether the top or the bottom? I challenge you this evening when you brush your teeth or tomorrow morning, whenever it is your next brush your teeth. Notice where you start your brushing your teeth. Next time start from a different place. Put a bit of variety into your brushwork. It if you start on the top left hand side, then start on the top right hand side. The bottom start in the middle. Do things differently. Then you find actually even brushing your teeth in the morning, simple thing like that becomes more exciting. You have to put more effort and energy. You’re more alert. You’re more aware of what’s happening. What you’re doing is little exercises to increase your awareness of what’s going on in life. Doing things differently. You all know sort of if you always are creatures of habit, especially in your relationships, always do the same thing, completely predictable. Then you find your relationship dies. There’s nothing interesting in there anymore and your relationships to yourself will die. And. It because there’s no life left. Just creatures of habit. The same old routines. Just like a robot. Not like a person anymore. Same old time. You know, people say the same old things all the time, you know, good morning. Have a good day. Somebody told me just when I was in I’d forget where the where I’ve been the last few days. Sometimes I wake up in the morning. I have to check where I am when I wake up. They’re saying that I think it was Peter Usenoff or something. He was in the United States. And people say, have a good day. His response was, I’ve got other plans. A great response. So have other plans. In other words, be mindful, be alive. And this is actually the way we develop this wonderful way of looking inside of ourselves at our mind, at our heart, at our life, which gives us more options. We find we discover that where we always thought there’s only one way to breathe in breath first and outbreath. Now we found there’s another way outbreath. First and in breath. When we first thought there’s only one way to brush our teeth, there’s hundreds of ways to brush our teeth. We thought there’s only one place to sit. There’s hundred hundreds of places to sit. When we thought there’s only one response. When our husband says this and really gives us a hard time, we find there’s many responses and. We find that people can’t push our buttons anymore because we’ve got more buttons than they ever know about. We’ve got secret buttons. Then they can’t press those. We respond in innovative ways suitable for the occasion. If we become a creature of habit, we’re predictable. Other people can control us. Exactly how to make you unhappy. That’s why when somebody starts trying to upset you, when they try and make you angry, when they call you a slob and you say, yeah, actually, that’s quite right. I am a slob. That really sort of upsets them because you’re agreeing with you. I didn’t expect that. When they call you fat, you say, yeah, I’m fat. And they’re trying to upset you, but they can’t do it when somebody’s trying to upset you and makes you unhappy. If you really want to get your own back, agree with them because that really upsets them when they don’t play the game of button pushing. What we’re saying here is there’s other responses. Other responses rather than the ordinary ones of getting upset and allowing yourself to be controlled. Obsessions are like that. You allow yourself to be controlled by your habits. You. When you stop those obsessions and addictions, you find this incredible amount of freedom. You find you don’t have to always respond in the same way to the same stimuli. You can be free to respond in other ways, innovative ways, different ways. And this is how one starts to stop those addictions. If it’s, say, alcohol or cigarettes or bad speech, one sees the whole process happening. One recognizes it because one has been mindful. One has been observed inside what’s actually happening. And after observing it, one see the whole process going, especially at the beginning of the process when it starts, it’s very easy to stop. The forks in the road are at the beginning. But once you get onto the freeway, it’s a long way until there’s the next exit. If you get into the freeway of anger, the freeway of addictions, once you’re on there, you get in the stream of traffic, and it may be many, many kilometers before you can get off that particular habit. But at the beginning, that’s where you have the most power. It’s like a train. Once the train leaves the station, it’s having a lot of momentum. You try and put on the brakes, it’s so hard to stop. Just got this huge amount of weight going so fast, this huge momentum. Or it’s like the tree. When it’s a small sapling, it’s very easy to put out of the ground. But if you leave the sapling there for too long, it’s a huge tree and it’s very difficult to take out. Habits are like that. If you can catch them early, it’s very easy. There was a mong friend who, because of an injury in the Vietnam War, would have epileptic fits us. And the way he overcame that whole process of epileptic fits was actually to use mindfulness to know the whole process which would lead into having a fit. He would watch it because he watched it and observed it and understood the whole process. When he saw the process starting, he could take evasive action. And that’s why he never had those fits anymore. He could see what’s going to happen if he continued on this route. This is what would happen next. So he took other paths. He went through other doors and he got over this. So if it’s an addiction to alcohol or addiction to drugs or addiction to cigarettes or addiction to sort of harmful behavior, we see what’s going to happen. We’ve been down that road before. That’s what Mindfulness tells us. And Mindfulness sees it happening and we stop. We also have to understand the danger it gives to us. Not so hard to see some of the addictive behaviors. We know it hurts, we know it harms. We know it creates problems in our life. Please recognize that and remind yourself of it. And then you can use what I call especially use this in my meditation retreats, The Simile of the Snake. The Simile of the Snake came about from my experiences as a young monk in northeast Thailand, in the jungles of Northeast Done. I went back there recently, just a few days ago. But those jungles have changed a lot. In particular, where there was once many, many snakes, there’s only a few left now. And. So I tell the monks, you’ve got it too easy these days. In the good old days, there are all these snakes around. I remember telling the story a few weeks ago, a week or two ago, and I’ve even peed on a snake. It’s a very dangerous thing to do. I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody. I’m meditating all night and getting up in the morning used to go to urinate in the bushes. And that one morning it was at dawn and the light wasn’t all that clear anyway, and I was a bit sleepy. And there’s a stick, a branch of a tree in front which I urinated on. And then the branch started to wiggle and I realized it was the branch after all. It was a snake. I moved away very quickly. Part of my anatomy was exposed. But fortunately, sort of I apologized to the snake very quickly. So the snake sort of stood away and sort of didn’t take its revenge. There’s so many snakes in those days, but in particular, these monasteries were very, very poor in those early days. And I remember clearly. We used to have all these meetings in the morning and the evening. And after the evening meeting, you had to walk through the jungle on these very narrow paths, from the hall to your hut where you slept. Maybe it was in quite a few hundred meters. Sometimes from the hall to your hut, sometimes 100, 200 meters. And obviously you try to use flashlights, but it was so poor that many times we had the flashlights, but no batteries. I remember actually going to see my teacher at Jen, Chard, ran out of flashlight batteries. Can I have some batteries? She said, I’m sorry, you can’t. We’ve got none. There’s none here. So I had to walk back from the hall to the place where I was sleeping without a flashlight. And in those jungles, even the starlight, there’s too many trees, so you can’t actually get any light coming into the jungle. It’s really, really dark. And you knew there were snakes? About hundreds of them, as I was first told when I went to Thailand. They told me there are hundred species of snake in Thailand. 99 are venomous, and the other one strangles you to death. In other words, they’re all dangerous. Thank you very much. Thank. So I had to walk back knowing there were snakes around and knowing those snakes were very dangerous. And the nearest hospital was a long way away. There was no phone. If you got bitten, you were in big trouble. So I used the simulator of the snake because I knew they were a danger, because I knew there were many of them around and they were lying on the path. It meant that I was always on the lookout for them. I wasn’t sort of mindless there was a danger there. I had to get from the hall to my hut. I was looking out for them. My mindfulness was very strong and they were focused on the danger which lay on the path because I knew there was a danger and I was focused on that danger and I was alert, awake mindful of it. I never got bitten. Sometimes you see a snake there, you either jump off over it or you sort of go around it, if you could, or you take another pass and. Because I was on the lookout and I knew it was a danger, I always managed to avoid it. It’s called massimile the snake. If an obsession and addiction is a danger to you, where it’s alcohol or anger or depression or whatever, if you identify that as a danger and you know it’s on the path in front of you in your life, it know it’s a danger and be on the lookout for it. If you’re on the lookout for it, you’re aware it’s out there and you’re mindful, you’re careful, you’re alert. You find you can always step over these things. You can go another path. You can jump over them and they never catch you. Say, if it’s alcohol, you can see it coming. You know alcohol. If you take that one glass, you have to take the second and the third and the fourth. And some person said that if you just take one glass of alcohol, that’s okay. It doesn’t really matter, does it? That’s what people ask me over here. One glass of alcohol is okay, isn’t it? Can. Somebody compared it to, like, a fire. Big fires or small fires, they all burn. So even if you hold a match to your finger, it still burns and hurts. Even a small glass of alcohol takes away your mindfulness, your alertness. You’re not as sharp as you were before. Because you’re not as sharp as you were before. You can take that second glass of alcohol as the all saying goal goes. Sort of alcohol makes you crazy. Alcohol can make you angry. Alcohol can make you actually shout at your wife. Alcohol can make you crazy at your wife. Alcohol can make you want to shoot your wife and alcohol makes you miss. That’s an old Australian joke. The dangers of alcohol makes you miss. We’re actually saying that’s not a good Buddhist story, I must admit, but it lightens up the evening. But these are danger to see as a danger. If you see as a danger, you can actually see it happening. You’re on the lookout for, look, this is a danger to me. I want to overcome this. If I see the craving coming up, I’m moving towards this. I’m going to take evasive action quickly. And mindfulness gives you the other opportunities. Same like anger. No, it’s terrible. It’s rotten to you know, when you’re angry at your loved ones, you got to live with them. You’re stuck with them. If you get angry at your mum or your dad or angry at your children, angry at your husband and wife, we all feel terrible, terrible about it after. So why did I do that? Why do I have to keep on relating to my loved ones like this? Why can’t I be at peace with the people in my house? And you realize that that creates so much suffering in your life. And so you start seeing when anger is about to come up or these bad ways of speaking start to arise. You see the whole process coming, and something comes out. Say this is a snake. This is a danger. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want my family to be like this. If I’m bickering with my husband, bickering with my wife, what are my kids going to do? They’re just going to see that as a normal way of living life, and they’re going to bicker and moan about their partners when they get married. And we just have this terrible, terrible way of living our lives. We don’t bicker at our monastery and start talking rotten things about each other and putting each other down at my monastery. And we speak we speak kind words, and we train ourselves to speak kind words. We train ourselves with this snake simile, if that is your nature. And you start you see this coming up? You recognize it. It’s a snake. You make sure you never step on that. You jump over it. Take evade of action. Do another thing. Do another way. So one of the ways of escaping from addictive behavior is remove yourself. Go away from the bottle, go away from the cigarettes, don’t have them in your room. Move yourself away from the irritation instead of shouting at your wife, just go to your room. Even better, come to the Buddhist centre, come to the temple. Especially one thing which I always remember this man came to our monastery in Thailand many years ago when I was there, he just came up to me and asked, can I stay at the monastery for a few days? We had lots of accommodation at our monastery in Thailand those days. Yeah, sure, you can come. Have you come to learn some Buddhism? He said no. Have you come to learn some meditation? He said no. What have you come here for? He said, Because I’ve had an argument with my wife. What a wonderful thing to do. Instead of sort of going down the pub, instead of going out with his mates, instead of going out to kill himself or something, he came to the monastery, said, okay, you can come and stay for a few days. It was no problem at all but after three or four days he came up to me and said, Can I go back home now? He wanted to take leave, said, Why do you want to go? He said, because I miss my wife and I sort of feel cool now. I feel calm. I want to make up what a very skillful way of doing things when people actually you’re angry and upset, instead of actually taking out on other people actually go to a calm place, remove themselves from the trigger of their ill will to a calm place, to a peaceful place to cool down, to take evasive action and. So if you got friends who get you into bad trouble, if you are in with a bad lot, and this is not a bad lot here, when you come to the temple, don’t think if people say you come to a bad lot, this is a good lot in this temple. So you come to a good place, it gives you good energy, you feel good about yourselves and you’re removing yourself from the problem. That’s one of the things to do, remove yourself from those things which trigger your addiction, your obsessions, and there’s bad ways of doing things. And then once you’ve removed yourself, you find it’s a great way of overcoming those things. Once you’ve removed yourself from the problem, then actually you can contemplate it much better. There’s an old saying in Chinese culture, say to love the tiger but at a distance. It to love the tiger but at a distance. So it means what that means is you can’t go loving a tiger by patting them on the head or ticking them under the chin. They’re going to bite your hand off. What you can do is when you’re away from the danger, then you can contemplate it, then you can love it. You can change your attitude towards it. People sometimes very difficult when there’s somebody who’s always again pushing our buttons, making us angry and making us upset, giving us a difficult time. It’s so hard, actually, to understand what’s going on. When you’re too close to it, removing yourself from the problem gives you more options. You can see things in a different way. You can love the tiger at a distance. When they’re close to them, all you have is fear. You have these obsessive of reactions. In Buddhism, I usually use the simile of the hand to understand this. A hand our problem, our addiction. The stimulus which creates these negative responses is like a hand which we’re holding too close to ourselves. Like my hand. Now you can all see it’s so close to me. I can’t see any of you. I can’t see any light, any goodness. All I can see is my hand. The reason is it’s too close to my eyes. Just for the tape here, I’m just actually holding it right above my nose, covering my eyes. I can’t see anybody. It’s not the hand’s problem. This problem is it’s in the wrong place. I should put it out to where it should be at the end of my arm. Then I can see my hand, but can also see all of you as well. I’ve got mindfulness a bigger picture. So often with obsessions we have a stimulus. Say somebody, maybe your wife has left you or maybe your father has died or your child’s got into big trouble. And that’s all one sees in one’s life, just this big problem. And we react in an inappropriate way. It’s like somebody who’s died. We act in grief as if it’s the only person who counts in this world. They’ve died. The only people who die is the one you love. You can’t see the bigger picture. You can’t see anything else in life except this huge problem which you’re holding right in front of you with a grief. You take that problem, you put it out here. Yeah, they died. But what else is going on in the world? What else happens in life? Who else have you got who love you, who you care for, who care for you as well, your other responsibilities. You put the problem where it belongs. You remove yourself from the problem. It’s loving the tiger out of the distance, seeing the hand, but at the end of the arm rather than holding it right in front of you. So you lost your job, but. So you’ve got cancer. If you hold the cancer right up to your hand, it’s the biggest thing in the whole world. You can’t see anything else and you’re in big trouble. You put it out here, you got cancer, but it’s only in part of your body. The rest of your body is healthy. It’s only part of the life. It won’t last forever as other people do this and get cancer and they get better again afterwards. Some die. If you die again, so what? You get reborn again. You get another body next time. Maybe a better one next time. Who knows? Maybe this old one is getting old now anyway. Getting ugly when you get old. Maybe it’s time for a change of model. Hold it out in the hand over here. What is death? It’s only a part of life. It’s no big thing when you get disappointed because things go wrong. So there’s other things have gone right in your life. Somebody dies, somebody gets born. It’s happening all the time. So when you put it out here, you get distance from the problem. When you get distance from the problem, you find you can react in all sorts of different ways. You’re not always reacting in the same way. You’ve got mindfulness, you’ve got more options because you’re seeing the bigger picture of things and. So that’s why that person if they stayed with their wife when this man who went to our monastery years ago if they stayed with their wife all the time they’d be just too close to the problem and they’d be reacting the same way again and again and again. So they just put themselves a little distance apart just for a few minutes, a few hours or whatever and see the big picture. When they see the big picture, they’ve got more ways of responding rather always responding in the obsessive, reactive ways which we call addictions. Remove yourself gives you more wisdom and gives you more ways of dealing with things. Also, when I say love the tiger at a distance it’s also this idea of love and kindness is also crucial to overcoming addictions. A lot of addictions and obsessions are like a self hurt you alcohol. We know it’s hurting us. We keep on doing it. Why now? We say these terrible things to each other. We know it hurts us to say these things. We keep on doing it. We push ourselves, we deny ourselves happiness and freedom and peace. Why we have the pain of losing a loved one. Why is it we sort of keep that grief here? It’s very clear to me as a Buddhist, as a meditator, to know that so many people are afraid of happiness. They just don’t want to be happy. They don’t want to be free of the problem. They don’t want to be free of the addiction. Why? It’s because they don’t love themselves. They don’t really care enough about themselves. Something they did in the past, some guilt, some mistake they keep right there in their hearts. I don’t deserve to be happy for what I’ve done. It basically is the cause of those addictions. Most addictions, most harmful and hurtful behavior start from this deep seated guilt inside of themselves. Ah. The idea that I need to be punished, that I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t deserve to be free. Which is why lovingkindness becomes the next method of overcoming addictions. To start with that, we have to not feel guilty, not feel upset, not to have this terrible feeling of having to punish oneself because of the addictions. I’m an alcoholic, therefore I’m bad, therefore I don’t feel good about myself, therefore I have to take more alcohol. I don’t feel happy myself because of something I’ve done. I feel upset, therefore I have to make other people unhappy, to anger and ill will, which makes me feel even more unhappy. We keep these cycles of unhappiness. I am unhappy, therefore I feel guilty, therefore I want to punish myself, therefore I want to be more unhappy. These cycles of self hurt, they keep on saying in the Western world that lack of self esteem, lack of like, inner happiness is one of the biggest mental problems of human beings. I don’t have a lack of self esteem. I’m quite at peace with myself. I don’t think of myself as a great person, as a medium person, as a small person. This is when Buddhism we call conceit. There’s three conceits in Buddhism. I am better than other people, I am the same as other people, and I am worse than other people. It’s interesting that third part is also a conceit I am worse than others. In Buddhism, we don’t even measure ourselves against others. We’ve stopped that measuring, comparing ourselves to others. So being better or being worse or being the same just as doesn’t even come up. This actually frees ourselves from judging ourselves against others, which again, is the root of guilt. Other people are okay, but not me. So when actually we overcome this sense of guilt, we overcome it with a sense of like lovingkindness, which is a great way of overcoming addictions. You find if you’re giving a bit of kindness, you’re giving a bit of love, and you give that bit of kindness and love to yourself, you find that addictions and obsessions are very easy to overcome. Which is why the meaning of love, as you’ve all heard me say many times, is to say to yourself the door of my heart is open to me no matter what I’m doing, no matter who I am. And even if I’m a drug addict, even I’m an alcoholic, even though I’m sort of do all these terrible things. Still the door of my heart’s open to me. I can be at peace with myself. I can love myself even though I’m doing these things. When you do this, you’re actually undermining the cause of self hurt and self harm. You’re starting the rehabilitation process. You’re facilitating yourself, allowing yourself to be accepting yourself for who you are, being at peace with yourself. This type of Buddhist love we call meta lovingkindness is so important that we keep repeating it again and again in so many different disguises. Lovingkindness the door of my heart is always open to you is called also letting go. You’re letting things be as they are rather than trying to change them. It’s called contentment. In particular, it’s called love. You’re making peace with yourself when you make peace with yourself, with all of your faults if you try and make yourself perfect before you love yourself I’m going to give up my addictions, give up all my old bad habits, give up all the bad speech, give up all the terrible things then I can love myself. You’ll find you’ll never make it. You try and be perfect before you’re at peace. US you will die before you’re at peace. What we have the way of peace is learning how to be at peace in the middle of imperfection. To be able to love someone even though they’re not perfect. To be able to love someone even though they’re far from perfect to even to love someone even they may be even bad. Because that love is what heals the badness and stops it. There’s many, many stories in the world when someone has received some kindness, some affection, some love, some acceptance on all their destructive behavior towards themselves and others stops it. It stops right there. There are many stories of people who have done some terrible crimes, and someone has come along and accepted them as a human being for who they are. And they’ve taken that person as a brother, as a father, as a mother, and would never do anything to harm anyone ever again. That’s the power of kindness and love. And that power of kindness, of love is actually how we overcome those addictions. Instead of hating ourselves for our addictions, for our obsessions, for our bad behavior, we get to this amazing leap of courage, this leap of faith, doing things in a completely different way. Finding a door where there shouldn’t be. A door and saying, in spite of all my alcoholism, in spite of all my addictions, in spite of all of this, the door of my heart is open to me. When you become at peace with yourself, when that love goes to yourself, when that forgiveness goes to yourself, when there’s no reason to harm and punish yourself anymore. You find it so easy to give up those addictions. The reason for self harm is taken away. The reason for punishment has been overcome. The path to freedom is open to you. Addictions and obsessions. Hurtful behavior is like being in a prison. You know you can open that door at any time. No one else puts you in a prison. Only yourself. No one else punishes you. Only yourself. Because you know that you are the owner of your karma. As they say in Buddhism, you’re punishing yourself. You’re imprisoning yourself, no one else. It means you can also free yourself. Let yourself go. Let it be. Be at peace. To love the tiger. Even though the tiger can be very wild, you can tame the tiger through kindness. That tiger inside of you, the heart, the hurt, the critical mind, the fault finding mind, you can tame that. When it’s tamed through lovingkindness the door my heart’s open you find that those addictions are so easy to let go of because the root cause of them, the self hurt and wanted to hurt other people, is gone. You can give up and give up the alcohol, give up the drugs, give up the hurtful behavior. It’s easy to do. People are only angry at others because they don’t love themselves, not at peace with themselves. I’ve seen this so often in the great monks and nuns I’ve known. They just can’t get angry at other people, no matter what other people do or say about them. Why? It’s because they’re at peace with themselves. If you love yourself, you’re at peace with yourself. You accept yourself love, you find you can be so accepting of other people, so at peace, destructive behavior disappears. So those of you who have addictions and obsessions, check that one out. Whether you’re not running on ill will, on negativity and. It. When that’s overcome, you give yourself love and kindness saying to yourself again and again and again until you understand what the meaning of those words are. The door of my heart’s open to me. No matter who I am, no matter what I’ve done, my love still goes unconditionally to myself. Then you know if you can know how to love yourself, you know how to love others. And your hurtful and harmful behavior stops right there. And the wonderful thing is that when you start one stopping, one hurtful, obsessive behavior, you find you start to feel this immense power and freedom. I remember the time when I gave up alcohol as a student. After giving up that alcohol, I felt this surge of energy for about a whole week. I was getting in charge of my life. I realized I could do these things if I saw something was not really helpful for me. I could actually let it go and stop it. You have this immense feeling of power over your life, over your destiny, especially your power over your happiness. When you start to give up obsessive behavior give up some of the addictions, it you find it can be done. You start one little thing. You give up one addiction, one obsession, one subnegative means of behavior and. And then you know how to give up all the negative behavior and you feel surges of power. Those are powers of freedom. You look upon these negative behavior, it’s just, again, like these controllers inside of your mind, these tyrants which make you do things which hurt you, which make you do things which hurt other people. Why do you need to take drugs? Why do you need to sort of take alcohol? Why do you need it costs a lot of money, alcohol very expensive. Be much better to take a cup of tea and give the difference into the donation box. I know it’s not good for the economy, but it’s good for the Buddhist society’s economy. So why do we do these things? And we realize we don’t have to do these things when we don’t do these things. Life is so much freer when you don’t have to have alcohol. You don’t have to have drugs when you don’t have to watch these stupid soap operas. Sometimes people don’t come on a Friday night because there’s an important soap opera on a Friday night or Tuesday evening in Armadillo. They can’t come because All Saints is on. You get all these addictions which people have all these things that stop them really enjoying themselves. They’re not free anymore. They can’t go anywhere because they have to be in for this and they have to be for that, and they have to be for something else. And this is crazy. The addictions people have you’re not free. So when you overcome addictions one by one, you feel this great surge of freedom and power. Yeah, you can watch it if you want to, but you don’t have to. You can watch the footy if you want to, but you don’t have to. Something else is more important. You can stop. You can criticize someone else if you want to, but you don’t have to. You’re not a creature of habit anymore. You’re not predictable. You got no buttons, which you push this one and you got the response that makes you an amazingly free person. People can call you a pig. Instead of getting angry, just go Oink, oink. Make a joke about it. You do all sorts of silly things and makes it like people can’t make you angry. And you won’t get angry. You won’t allow anger in your house. You’re free of it. You don’t have to take alcohol. You can go into the pub and just have an orange juice with your friends. You’re much more in control. You can live your life free from those things, you know, which hurt. Because mindfulness gives you more opportunities. Love, loving, kindness frees you of guilt, stimulus, the snake. You realize what the problem is. You make it sure it’s in your mind so you can overcome it and free yourself from it. Three very simple methods. Ryan also said removing yourself from the problem, from the trigger. Simple methods to overcome addict addictions. Eventually you overcome all those addictions in your mind. Not just the gross ones of like, drugs and alcohol, really self destructive behavior, but also the other ones of like fault finding and ill will. Isn’t it strange that these people we love, we always tend to whenever we speak to them, it’s always pointing out faults. Isn’t that what happens to you when people talk to you? How often is it walk finding, you didn’t do this, you didn’t do that? How often is it praised? Oh, thank you so much for doing this. Thank you for being such a wonderful wife. Thank you for being such a great husband. Those of you have married last week. How many times has your husband actually praised you and said what wonderful wife you are? How many times has your wife said, no, I really appreciate you as a husband. It. And how many times have been fault fighting and critical? You understand what I mean? Those are negative behaviors which don’t create any love and happiness in the world. So please, change those addictions and obsessive behaviors. You feel more freedom and happiness and change that towards yourself. So you praise yourself. You have gratitude to all the effort you’ve put into your lives, all the goodness which you’ve done that makes you free, it makes you happy, gives you energy. Energy to do good in the world. Addictions and obsessions, like put you in prison, harming yourself, and you’re unable to really give service to the world. Be yourself in those addictions and sufferings. And then you can do what life is really all about serving the community, increasing the gross national happiness of our community. I read that about the King of Bhutan. He’s got this program because it’s a poor country, they don’t want it. It was the last country in the world which had televisions. Bhutan only in 2000 they started to have a television service in the country. The Princess of Bhutan, she’s a Buddhist and I’ve seen her a few times. She was telling me this. And the king, her brother has got this new program. Now instead of the Gross National product which is what western countries find is important, the Buddhist king of Bhutan has got this program the Gross National Happiness. He wants to increase the gross national happiness of his country. This is the main thing of his country. That’s why the government is working. That’s why are working for the happiness economy of the people. Really good on him. It’s a wonderful thing to do. Wonderful way of it’s. Only a small country, insignificant in the world. So he can get away with it without having the IMF on his back. This is actually what life is all about. Increasing the Gross National happiness in your family. Increasing the Gross National happiness of yourself and your friends, of our community, of our land, of our planet. That’s why we give up obsessions and addictions. So we can really do what life is all about. The purpose and meaning of life. To increase the GNH, the Gross national happiness of our world. So there’s a little ways of overcoming obsessions and addictions in your life and the reason why we do these things. And also pointing out what life is all about. So there you are. It’s really easy to do. No problem at all. So just do it. Okay? So on that note just do it. Mention this talk this evening is sponsored once again by Nike. Just do it. Just do it. It’s also that when you’re free, it’s just so wonderful. It’s also sponsored by Toyota. Oh, what a feeling. Those are the only two I know, I think. So this is okay. You go sideu now. Yeah. Okay. Go on. Ends the talk.

How To Overcome Mental Suffering | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
How To Overcome Mental Suffering | Ajahn Brahm
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You can’t control your body, feelings, or thoughts. Let go and be happy. The great monk advised against wasting time on things which have no solution, because it creates mental suffering. Mental suffering is the biggest killer, caused by our attitudes and conditioned responses to the world. Buddhism teaches us ways to overcome it. Accept the world as it is and stop trying to control it. This will stop the mental suffering. Sometimes we try and control things which are beyond our control, and that just creates more pain. Mental suffering is when you try to control your life When you let go of control, you stop suffering. The more you can let go, the more you can start loving life.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 13th June 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


Mental Suffering –
by Ajahn Brahm

Transcription
(Robot generated transcript – expect errors!)


I’ve got another request today for the talk. So the talk coming up is on mental suffering, or rather, how to overcome mental suffering. So I’m not just going to make you mentally suffer, if you could show you what it is and how to overcome it. So this evening’s, talk on mental suffering. We just got an email a few minutes ago asking for this talk. This talk go out on the internet, so this request comes from England. There must be mentally suffering over there. So we’re going to give them a bit of good Buddhist wisdom, how to be happy. Mental suffering is the Buddhist speciality, because the Buddha said there was two types of suffering to be found in the world, the physical suffering and the mental suffering. He called them like two, like thorns or darts or spears, which keep pricking the person. And he said that the physical suffering you can’t do too much about, because this is what’s having a body is all about. You’re going to get old, you get sick, you get coughs. No matter what you do, you always seem to get these things, even if you eat brown rice and exercise every day. Sometimes people exercise a lot. You’ve seen them as I saw this guy cycling up the hill the other day. To me, it looked like that was very dangerous for your health to probably get a heart attack. But whatever, even if you do the right things, you always get sickness from time to time in the body. So the Buddha said the physical dart of pain, suffering you can’t really do much about, that comes with having a body. That’s par for the course. That’s what you buy into when you become born as a human being. However, the mental suffering, he said that’s what you can do something about. And the path of Buddhism becoming enlightened is taking out the dart, the thorn of mental suffering, until it’s no longer there. There. I really love that distinction between the two types of suffering, physical suffering and mental suffering, because it became quite clear to me that the worst of the two is the mental suffering. The physical suffering is nothing compared to the mental suffering. And I’ve seen that many, many times, that you can see physical suffering, people in pain and agony in hospitals and accidents, there s and mental suffering which is the killer. Even when I was a school teacher, or trained to be a school teacher, we got a doctor in to actually give us some advice. What happens if in the science lab, some kid spills the concentrated acid over his hand, or they put their fingers in the electric sockets, boys being boys, or one day it probably happened. What do you do? And so we got a GP in to give us a little demonstration on first aid. And I always remember the thing which he said, first of all, he’s an old GP, an old doctor. He said the worst thing is, was it called shock fear. And he gave us some advice. If you see someone in an accident, no matter how gruesome and gory it looks, always tell them that they’re okay, they’re going to make it. Even if you have to bend the truth a bit, because it’s the fear and. The mental suffering, which is the killer. In accidents, a person going to shock when they think they’re going to die, and they do die as a result. It’s the mental suffering. It’s the greatest. And I’ve also seen that in Western countries, you see that pretty healthy kids, even young people, middle aged people, they’re in good physical health, they’ve got no real pains, they’ve got a healthy body, and then they go and commit suicide. They kill themselves because of mental suffering. More people kill themselves for mental suffering than go to people like Dr. Nietzsche for physical suffering to kill themselves. I think you all know that the mental suffering is the hardest to bear. Unfortunately, the mental suffering is invisible. You can see people and they looked as quite normal, healthy. They can even smile. But their smile masks the pain inside their hearts. The fear, the loneliness, the despair sometimes. Because in our society, we’re not supposed to show our mental suffering. You ask how are you today? I m feeling fine. Liar. You’re just making it up. You feel terrible. But you’re not supposed to say that. You’re supposed to be happy, you’re supposed to be joyful. And it seems to be like you re embarrassment, you’re failure if you re not so. Mental suffering is very often hidden in our society. That s why we can t see it. And so that s why it’s surprising when people do commit suicide or they go crazy. Why are you going crazy for? You got everything to live for. You’re young, you’re beautiful, you’re doing well at school or you got a good job and compared to your money. But still people kill themselves. The point is that the mental suffering is the biggest one. And unfortunately, in our health system we put lots of money, lots of resources in healing people’s physical sicknesses. Whether it’s on breast, cans, prostate cancer, heart disease there’s huge amounts of money and programs trying to heal the external suffering. But the internal suffering of human beings is very rarely dealt with, mostly because it’s invisible. But Buddhism, especially, places like this, this is actually what deals with mental suffering. This is actually helps heal the mental pain, that pain deep inside which other people can’t see. They go to places like this. We don’t get any grants from the government, but we do a heck of a lot of work healing that pain inside, which is the worst of the suffering. That’s why we’ve got Buddhist monasteries and Buddhist places, hospitals of the mind. That mental suffering. What actually is it? That mental suffering is when we fight with the world, where we try and change what is impossible to change. It is his attitude, his conditioned ways of responding to the physical world, which we’ve learned since we were a child, which we’ve encouraged to keep on continuing the same old way. And it just gets us into knots sometimes, knots of despair. And Buddhism shows the way out of that despair, out of the way of that mental suffering with many, many techniques and teachings. One of the powerful teachings, one of the powerful stories which affected me and helps me in my life as an abbot and all these responsibilities I take on that particular story was of the British in statesman and Prime Minister Harold Macmillan. He was a prime minister when I was a young man. And at this particular time, I think it was 1967, was that about 36 years ago when there was a big war going on? Guess where? In the Middle East, between Israel against Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt. It was called the 6th Day War. And during that war, when the tanks were fighting each other and people were shooting each other and many people getting killed and injured, a newspaper reporter asked this British Prime Minister, what do you think about the. Problem in the Middle East? And straight away this Prime Minister said there is no problem in the Middle East. What a great answer. But so enigmatic. Because the reporter said what do you mean there’s no problem in the Middle East? There’s a war going on as we speak. People are being killed and wounded as we talk. How can you say that there’s no problem in the Middle East? And this was the answer, the important part. The Prime Minister said A problem, sir, is something with a solution. There is no solution in the Middle East, therefore it’s not a problem. Do you understand? There’s a powerful sort of wise saying which you can apply to many other things. He was a Prime Minister of a country, he had many other things to do, many other decisions to make. Why do we waste time on things which have no solution? He was wise enough to know that that problem was just beyond him. So for him it was no longer a problem, no longer worth worrying, spending time over, creating more mental suffering over. And he was right. There’s still no solution. Or they’re trying to find a solution. But 36 years it’s a long time. It so in our life do we have problems? How many of us actually worry over things which aren’t really problems because there’s no solution to it? We may have some of a difficulty in our life. Maybe we got sacked from work. We’d be made redundant with one thing ever have to worry about as a monk. Never make me redundant. Don’t even get a pension. When I sort of retire, I keep on going, going, going and keep working me in this joint until I’m dead. The older you get, the more wise you’re supposed to be, so the harder you have to work. Anyway, if it’s something I’m not going to complain about that because I can’t change that as part of being a monk. So I complain about things which aren’t problems, which haven’t got a solution there’s other things in life which happen a death in the family, is that a problem? When there’s a death in the family, there’s no solution, is there? You can’t bring them back, therefore the fact they parted is not a problem the fact that you get sick, you may have a cancer, is that a problem? If it’s a solution, you can get some treatment, great, then it’s a problem you can do about it but if there’s no solution, it’s not a problem anymore so what you can do is free yourself from the mental suffering which goes along with making a problem of things which you cannot change and. This is actually part of letting go. When we realize much of life we can do nothing about. Much of life is just nature doing its thing. Just like it’s cold, we want it to be warm, it’s warm, we want it to be cool. It’s dry, we want it to be wet, it’s wet and we want it to be dry. All of that controlling which we do in life, does it really get us anywhere? Sometimes it does. When there is a problem some of you can do, then do it. Give everything you’ve got. But the problem is, as human beings, we know how to do things. We know how to put forth energy and effort in our lives. We work very hard. We’ve been taught that at school, at university, at our jobs. But the one thing we haven’t been taught is how to leave things which we cannot change alone. That is why we have mental suffering. So when there’s something to do, we give it everything we’ve got. One of Adjun Charles teachings, an Australian man went to see him many years ago. Came all the way from, I think, Sydney. He heard about this great monk living in the forests of northeast Thailand. Wanted to ask him some questions about life, about Buddhism, about truths. When he got there, all that way to the very northeast of Thailand, found a genchar in his heart in this monastery surrounded by a couple of hundred people. He waited at the edge for his chance to ask his question. Waited and waited and. Soon realized after two or 3 hours, there’s no way that the great teacher at Genchar could notice this Westerner at the edge of the crowd. He realized he’d made that trip all the way from Australia in vain. He wouldn’t be able to see the great teacher, so he walked away. When he was walking away, he realized the taxi was not going to come for another hour or two to take him back to town. He saw the monks were doing some work in the monastery. They were sweeping the paths, tidying up the grounds. He thought he’d come all this way, he might as well do something good. Do some good karma. He picked up a broom and started sweeping, helping the monks. Sweeping. Sweeping for many minutes. When he told me this story many years ago you don’t find this in Ajan Char’s books because no one, not many people know this story. He was sweeping when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned round. It was Ajan char, the great monk and. Even though Jenchao was very busy, he was incredibly compassionate and very aware. He’d noticed a Westerner he’d never seen before on the corner or the edge of the crowd. He couldn’t attend to him because he had so many other people. Now he was actually leaving the monastery to go to another appointment. He saw this Westerner doing some good act of karma, helping the monastery. He decided did to give him a teaching through an interpreter. He told this Westerner very quickly, if you’re going to sweep, give it everything you’ve got, and then turned around and left. That was the teaching this young Australian got. If you’re going to sweep, give it everything you’ve got. Now, that might seem a simple teaching to you, but he told me in monastery several years ago that changed his life and made him such a successful and happy person, because he realized when great monks like that say these words, they’re not just taken on face value, they have much deeper meanings. They’re simple teachings which go to the core. What it really meant was not just when you’re sleeping, when you’re working, or whatever job, you give it everything you ve got. Put 100% into your work. When you’re resting, give it everything you ve got. Rest fully. When it’s time to sleep, give it everything you ve got. It’s not the time for worrying about the work, or thinking about tomorrow, or complaining about what happened to you today. It’s sleep time to give sleep everything you’ve got. When it’s playtime and you’re going out enjoying yourself, then give your partying everything you’ve got. It was living life to the full. When it’s meditating time, you give meditation everything you’ve got. And eventually, at the end of your life, when it’s time to die, you give dying everything you’ve got. That is the way to live a life. When there’s something to do, you do it fully. When there’s nothing to do, you do nothing fully. Give it everything you’ve got. And that’s why he said he was went back to Sydney, was successful in his business, successful in his relationships, successful in his health. Because he gave everything full effort. Even letting go, he gave a full effort to. When it’s something to do, you give it everything you’ve got. That’s how I’ve lived my life. When I’m working at the monastery, just fixing up the roofs the last week, I give it everything I’ve got. When I m talking, giving a talk on a Friday night, I give it everything I ve got. When I m meditating, I completely let go of don’t even think of you. I give meditation everything I ve got. When it’s time to sleep, go to bed at night, I give sleeping everything I’ve got. It’s time to have lunch. I give that everything I’ve got. I eat too much, that’s a trouble. I’m fat. I give eating everything I’ve got. It that’s a way to live a good life, a happy life and a fulfilling life. How many of you do things half hearted? You’re not really there when you’re doing things, it’s time to rest, you’re working. When it’s time to work, you want to rest. You’re never really doing some things half heartedly. When you’re driving in your car, you’re already at work. When you’re at work, you’re thinking about driving home. And you’re never giving things everything you’ve got. So this is actually just one of the reasons why we have mental suffering. We know how to work. Sometimes we’re not ready. We don’t know how to relax and let go. Letting go means not trying to change the world, leaving it alone. What you can’t fix, you leave alone. Why not? This is how we ease the mental suffering. Because too much of our mental capacity is taking up with doing things which we can t really change. It’s the control freak which we want to control everybody and everything, and that just creates more suffering, more pain. Have you ever noticed when the traffic lights go out because of a storm? In most cases, that’s when the traffic flows freely, when there’s no control. I was told in Israel there was a strike of doctors some years ago. For about two weeks, the doctors went on strike, and in the hospitals in Israel, they found during that period when there was no doctors on duty, the death rate went down. Not as many people died. Your kids, if you try and control them, what happens? There’s a story about controlling children. You’ve heard it before, but it’s very powerful. Comes from a monastery in northeast Thailand when a local farmer, he was taking his water buffalo out to graze one morning. The water buffalo got scared and started running away. The farmer tried to stop the water buffalo. Water buffaloes are huge. They’re very, very strong. They all ploughs. Stupid trying to stop a water buffalo. But he tried, and the string or the rope curled around his finger and tore the top of his finger off. It was right next to our monastery. So he came into a monastery with half a finger in quite a lot of pain, with blood streaming down his arm. So we took him to the hospital to get him bandaged up and the monastery paid for it. We’ll use that story a lot afterwards. US. It’s stupid trying to stop a water buffalo. They just pull your fingers off. It’s like stupid trying to stop your husband. If you’ve got a husband like a water buffalo or a wife like a water buffalo, they’re both genders or children like water buffalo. There’s young water buffalo as well. You try and stop them. And you’re asking for mental suffering. They just pull your happiness off, and you sort of you come to the monks just, you know, with with blood streaming out of your brain in your mind, oh, he’s done this, he’s done that. It’s not what I wanted him to do, and it’s not what she should do. Kids aren’t supposed to be like this, blah, blah, blah. Just mental suffering again. But what you should do for water buffaloes is just let them go. What happens when a water buffalo those who know sort of water buffaloes in Thailand and any parts of Asia where they use water buffaloes, the water buffalo runs away. They don’t run too far, maybe half a kilometer, a kilometer at the most, up the road, because the water buffalo knows who’s going to feed them and look after them and care for them. They run off, and then they realize what they should be doing, and they just wait there just a man just walks after them and then just gets on the rope and pulls them away again. They don’t go that far of. So that’s what we mean by letting go if you try and stop water buffalo stopping things which you can t really stop you’re just asking for half a finger missing. This is what we mean by mental suffering. We try and control things which are beyond our control, thinking that if we don’t control these things, we don’t do something, it get tail be toe wrong. It doesn’t get terribly wrong. You let go a little bit, and then when there’s something you can do when the water buffalo stops, then you can bring it in again. You’ve got to wait to when you are possible to act so this is actually why we have lots of mental suffering in the world what is actually the biggest parts of mental suffering? What we got grief. I talked about grief last week. It’s a city of mental suffering because you can’t can’t stop do anything about it. The person’s died and gone. You can’t actually run after them before them back again. Not like water buffalo. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it. And it’s just our conditioning which makes us have grief. I did a funeral last yesterday. Yesterday morning, thursday morning I did a joint Christian Buddhist funeral. I love doing these joint funerals. I do my few words and then the priest comes along and does a bit but it was hard for me because I was trying to cheer everyone up. The priest was just making one miserable again, basically. So, so hard. And it’s just our conditioning, some sort of some ways of presenting religion. We actually encourage people to grieve. We encourage people to have mental sufferings if you’re supposed to suffer when somebody dies and because people get that in their brains when they’re very young, they do suffer when somebody dies. The point is, you don’t have to. There’s another way around it. And if we can only condition people, especially the young people who so I’ve still got an open mind to such things as death, we can actually condition them. You don’t have to have mental suffering when somebody dies. Celebrate their life. What a wonderful concert that was. How wonderful it was to have known you. Isn’t that wonderful? When we see somebody off after a beautiful visit are. They visited our lives for those many years. Now we’re seeing them off at the airport. It’s great, wonderful visit, thank you for coming. And then you let them go and then somebody else comes to visit afterwards. This is our life. And when we actually realize it’s not a problem because we can’t change it, there’s nothing, it’s not got a solution, accept solution inside of us to let go and accept and free the person. This last words I said at the funeral, which I say very often, there’s two types of love. There’s a love which frees the other person and there’s a love which attaches, which clings onto them and controls them. Know what controlling love is? Because sometimes you have that in your relationships. Husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, controlling. But these you should control your mobile phones anyway, so let them go, throw them out. And you know, being on the receiving end of a controller and controlling relationship. And it can’t last very long. The best type of relationships, the best types of love, and you may have had those relationships when it’s a freeing love, that love, you know the words, the door of my heart surpass you no matter what you ever do. That’s a freeing love. And that’s where growth happens. And people love that sort of freeing love. And that’s the of same freeing love, of no controlling, which is the antidote to mental suffering, to be able to say to life, life the door of my heart’s open to you no matter what you ever do. It’s loving life rather than hating life. It’s just a change of attitude, that’s all, which stops the mental suffering. So it’s accepting like life as is like being part for the course. When I was a school teacher, I was a young school teacher, only 23 when I or 22, when I started teaching at school, it was so hard for me to discipline the kids because I used to do the same thing they did only a couple of years earlier. I knew all the tricks and I could see them, see what they were doing. And I couldn’t bring myself to discipline the kids because I felt just a big hypocrite. All you parents can’t even remember what you were like as kids. Why try and discipline your kids when you did the same or probably worse? And in fact, if you really want the kids to grow sometimes, give them understanding. Give them the benefit of the other experience, but allow them to experience it themselves. It’s the only way we learn. Instead of trying to control, love should free the other person. And also, instead of controlling the world, love should free the world. Free the world. Which means that this is the way the world is. We have the storms and we have the beautiful days. Now we have the happy moments in our life. We have the unhappy moments in our life. In fact, we wouldn’t appreciate at the happy moments. We didn’t have the unhappy moments. In Christian theology they used to say that in heaven, once a year you go to visit hell. Otherwise you would not appreciate what heaven was like. If you just had happiness, happiness, happiness every day, after a hundred years you’d take it for granted. You wouldn’t realize it and appreciate it anymore. That’s why it’s good to have at least one day a year of suffering so you can really appreciate what heaven is really about. How many of you take your happiness for granted? Sometimes suffering is what gives has an understanding of the importance of happiness and what happiness truly is. This is why suffering has a part of life. I’m talking about physical suffering. When we accept this, we accept the world doesn’t always go the way we want it to go. When we stop trying to control, then we find a heap of mental suffering just disappears. We don’t try and control our body. Sometimes it gets painful. We want it to get healthy again. If you more you try and control, the more mental pain you have. I think brings to mind that story which was again one of the crucial stories of my monastic life when I had a terrible toothache at night. This toothache was driving me insane. It was so strong I couldn’t stand the pain. I was in a monastery in northeast Thailand where there was no doctors. There was no dentists for miles around in those days. And those dentists which were in the town nearby, they were very dangerous to go to and not recommended. They’re more like vets and dentists where they pull things out all the time. But anyhow, there was no dentists around. There’s no painkillers around and there’s nobody to cry to and say I’m hurting. There’s no email, no telephone, no nothing. There remote part of Northeast Thailand 30 Years Ago so I had a terrible toothache and I tried to meditate on my breath. Couldn’t do it. I was so restless. I couldn’t get away from the pain. There’s no way you could sleep because the pain was just throbbing. The whole jaw was on fire. It was the worst toothache I’ve ever had. So I decided I couldn’t sit meditation. I decided to try and do walking meditation. The walking meditation we do. I had to stop that because I was doing running meditation. I was in agony. And that s all you can do. You can’t do things slowly when you re in agony. So I went up to my hut in the middle of the jungle late at night. It always gets worse late at night. The only thing I could think of doing is doing chanting. Remember, I was a theoretical physicist before I became a Buddhist because I liked the meditation, some of all the other sort of magical stuff I didn’t believe in at all. I was a cynic. Now I believe. Now I’ve seen it in some of it works, but in those days I didn’t believe in it at all. That was just the old traditions. And I was supposed to be a modern Buddhist. So I tried doing the chanting. I was desperate and I had to stop doing the chanting, trying to magic away my pain. The reason was because I was shouting at the top of my voice, the chanting. I was that much in pain. I was desperate again. But the point was that after doing all those little bits and pieces, trying to get rid of the pain, I came to the amazing brick wall, which sometimes mental suffering takes you to. The place where you can’t stand it any longer. Have you been to those places? The pain is just too great. You can’t stand it any longer and I’ve exhausted all the possibilities, which I knew. Nothing worked there’s. What Adjan Charles said it’s a beautiful time of your life when, the way he put it, you can’t go forward, you can’t go backwards and you can’t stand still. Fortunately, though, I was a monk and I’d heard teachings of Buddhism. They were only on the surface. They hadn’t really gone deeply yet. Like many of you, you can come listen to these talks week in, week out. You can read it in the books, you can listen to it on the CDs, on the Internet is only superficial until one day you remember a little part of the teaching. It sinks in and it does its work. That’s what it did that evening in Thailand many years ago. The words I remember were just let go. Two words which you’ve heard many times yourself, and that was probably the first time I did let go. I let go of controlling and trying to get rid of the pain. An amazing thing happened which I’ll always remember for the rest of my life. As soon as I let go, and I meant really let go, the pain vanished immediately. Lee it was replaced with bliss. One moment you were just out of your mind in agony, the next moment, just waves of bliss and ecstasy just running through your body and mind. Oh, so good. And the only thing I could think of doing was just crossing my legs and meditating and meditated just so peacefully. No effort at all. Just the mind was just so still and so joyful. And then maybe about 02:00, I think it was, I laid down because you’re supposed to get up at 03:00 to do the chanting in these monasteries in Thailand. Laid down, just have a bit of a sleep. About half an hour, 45 minutes. Just so peaceful. I woke up before the bell. A quarter to three brightest the button just went to meditate. It’s amazing just how all that physical pain and suffering just disappeared. I realized that there was two parts to that suffering of a toothache of mine the physical part and the mental part. There was the mental suffering which I dealt with the I don’t want this. This is horrible. I’ve got to escape from this. I’ve got to find some way of overcome this pain. It was all control, trying to get rid of things. When I’ve taught that to people, they still haven’t understood, they go with their pain, with their aches, and say, let go. Let go. Why haven’t you gone yet? They’re letting go to try and get rid of something that’s not letting go, that’s doing business. Letting go means pain. The door of my heart’s open to you. Whether you will stay here for my whole life, whether you get worse, I’m at peace with. That’s what letting go means. Not trying to get rid of it, not trying to escape from it, not trying to go somewhere where that pain isn’t, but fully accepting it and being with it, realizing that it hasn’t got a solution, therefore, it’s not a problem. I’d accept it. I’ll be with it. I’ll bring it into my life and make friends with it. That’s where the mental suffering ends. What do we mean by letting go? It’s a hard thing to do, to press that letting go button, which is why we teach Budhist meditation to trade in letting go. You’re sitting here and do you have mental suffering? When you meditate, you think you’re sitting there. I can’t meditate. I tried the breath. It that work. I tried watching the present moment. It doesn’t work. I tried doing loving kindness. It doesn’t work. Maybe I should go somewhere else. Look, the reason why it doesn’t work, if it hasn’t worked yet, is because you are trying. You’re controlling. You’re trying to make things different. Last Tuesday at our Armadale group, I was so tired. I’ve been working all day really hard. I should be working for the last month, maybe 30 years, really hard. I work seven days a week. On the weekend, you work here. On the weekdays, you work down the monastery. I do two jobs. Actually, more than two jobs. When I go to Singapore, I work down there like a dog when I go up to Thailand and just work really hard over there. So sometimes you get really, really tired. I was really, really tired that night, and I had to go give a talk to the group at Armadale. Just after giving a little bit of an introduction, I sat down there and did my meditation. I did nothing for half an hour. I was so blissful, just doing nothing, just going to wonderful, deep meditation. Just so happy, and came out and gave a nice talk afterwards. The reason was because for half an hour, I’d done nothing, and. Really let go. Not controlling. The reason why I teach this way of meditation about these stages present moment awareness, silence, watching the breath, getting to bliss states because that’s the nature of what happens when you let go. However, if you try and make those stages happening happen, that’s when you get into trouble because you’re not really letting go. You’re more controlling thing. I’ve got to be in the present moment. I’ve got to be in the present moment. Have you noticed that? That’s planning the future. I’ve got to be in the present moment. Be quiet. There you’ve spoke the silence. You’ve done it again. That old joke about those four monks. Four monks making a vow of silence. One monk sneezed and the first monk said, Bless you. The second monk says, You’ve broken your vow of silence. The third monk said, So have you? The fourth monk said, I’m glad I’m the only one here who can keep my vows. They all bloke their vows. It’s so hard to keep silent because we keep telling ourselves to be silent. You can’t be silent by telling yourself to be silent because that’s not being silent. You can’t say shut up because then you’re not shutting up. You’re talking again. Now you understand what goes on in your mind here. Control, control, control. That’s not letting go. That s why it’s a hard thing to learn meditation because it goes against the stream of the world which is controlling and doing, which causes mental suffering. Sometimes you think you’re going crazy. When somebody comes up to me and says, I think they’re going crazy and mad, the usual answer is say, what’s wrong with being crazy? What’s wrong with being mad? Join the club. As soon as you say that, they stop trying to control their mind and they don’t get crazy anymore. They relax and let go and have a peace with themselves. People are in grief. What’s wrong with being in grief? They don’t add to the grief. You see? Sick. What’s wrong with being sick? You’ve heard me say this before. Sickness is normal. Sickness is usual. If there was somebody in here who was never sick, that would be really weird. But. What do you call them? You call them mutants. I’ve been reading newspaper about X Men. Everyone gets sick. So it’s usual to be sick. It’s normal to be sick. So how can you say there’s something wrong with you when you’re sick? As a Buddhist, as a wise person, if you go to the doctor with an album, you should say, doctor, there’s something right with me again, I’m sick. Do you get the point? Because we say there’s something wrong with sickness, because we say there’s something wrong with grief. We can say there’s something wrong with this and wrong with that. We try and control the world and that’s where we get suffering, mental suffering. Trying to change something which we can’t change, making a problem as something which is beyond us, which really hasn’t got a solution, which is not really a problem at all. This is where we call letting go. When it’s something to do, we get everything we’ve got. When there’s nothing we can do, we just let go and. I’ve given up trying to control my monastery, the serpentine. It’s beyond my control. I controlled it a little bit, but not very much. They asked the monks, they called me a soft abbot. And the reason is because I enjoy my own sort of letting go, rather than trying to control things. If you’re a control freak, you just create more suffering. If you’re a letting go freak, create trust. The trust is understanding. You don’t need to control your kids, your wife, your husband, you don’t even need to control yourself. You can trust. So we give that trust, that confidence and faith into others instead of controlling them. And you find they do much better, they work much hard, other, they fulfill themselves much more, because they’re not acting out of this trying to fulfill somebody else’s desires and ideals. They’re not trying to work under this terrible way of being controlled. This is like the flower, the tree which has got this forced fertilizer. They never grow as well as beautiful as when they’re growing naturally, freely. Kids will grow much better if you don’t try and force feed them with this no fertilizer of your will. Instead you give them love, the freedom, the kindness, us as you grow much more if you give yourself that freedom, that kindness, that forgiveness, basically to be yourselves and respect each other for being yourselves. Someone was talking today about the weeds in the garden. Why do we so negative and call these things weeds? I call flowers flowers. I call weeds natives. Both are welcome. So why are they always so so judgmental about the weeds in ourselves? Sometimes we say they’re weeds. They’re little quirks of character. All the city jokes, which I say I worked out actually why I say silly jokes. I gave a talk at this at my monastery many years ago and somebody recorded it and they gave it the title why ajam. Brahm says it tells terrible jokes. And the reason is because my my father told terrible jokes and he gave me those genes. It’s in my genes that tell silly jokes. I can’t really can’t really help it. Genetically programmed. So you’re genetically programmed to get sick. Your children are genetically programmed to get sort of really hard to cope with in their teens. You can’t really stop that, can you? You can guide it a little bit, but most of the time you can’t do anything about it. So why not let go of those things which you can’t control? You? When the Buddha enlightened his first five disciples, this is the deep stuff. Now, he gave the talk called the Anata lakhanasuta, the second sermon of the Buddha. And that was where his first five disciples changed from being stream winners, the first stage of enlightenment, to being fully enlightened the first five Arahuts in the world. Next. The Buddha. He’s talked about that which makes up the human being, the five candidates of the physical body, feeling, perception, mental formation, such as thought and will and consciousness itself. He says, these things are not yours. They’re beyond your control. And. Your body is beyond your control. If it was yours, you’d be able to control it and say, be healthy, be fit, be beautiful, be strong. You can’t do that. No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible. Therefore, it’s not yours. It belongs to nature. So don’t try and control it. Let go. It your feelings. The happiness, the pain, the beauty, the ugliness nice feelings in the body, unpleasant feelings in the body. All those feelings the Buddha said, are not yours. If they were yours, you’d be able to control it. Only happiness. Please, no suffering. Can you do that? Can anyone do that? You can’t. That’s why there’s this beautiful saying of the enlightened person happiness at last or Sorry. Joy at last. Joy at last. To know there’s no happiness in the world. Do you understand? Joy at last to know there’s no happiness in the world? So I don’t have to try anymore to be happy? Are you trying to be happy? Struggling for happiness? Trying to run away from pain? Joy at last to know I can’t do that anymore. And that’s happiness? Understanding that this feelings the body beyond your control. You let go now you’re happy. Now you’re sad. Now I’m happy again. Now I’m sad. Now it’s night, now it’s day. Now it’s winter. Now it’s summer. Now. Monks giving a talk. Now. Sister’s giving a talk. Now. Someone else is giving a talk. Now no one’s giving a talk. That’s life. So we let go of what we can’t control perception. So where we look at things beyond our control it’s thought and will. It’s not ours. Beyond our control. Why even try and control? I gave a simile of the driverless Buz many years ago. It’s one of my best similes. It’s as if. Mental suffering is like this. You’re being driven in a bus. Sometimes you go through this very unpleasant territory. You go through toxic waste, dumps so hard to see and through fields of dung and manure just so offensive on the nose. And you just want to get out of there as soon as possible. So you tell the coach driver, the bus driver, speed up. Get out of here as soon as possible. This is unpleasant. Sometimes a bus driver speeds up. Often it doesn’t take any notice and sometimes even goes slower. So you have to endure the pain even longer than you should. Other times the bus goes through this beautiful scenery, beautiful rolling hills and waterfalls and beautiful foliage. Oh, this is beautiful. Lovely. Please slow down. Even stop. You tell the bus driver, what does the bus driver do? Speed up. Well, sometimes he slows down a lot of times and take any notice of you. And because this bus drive is out of control, he. Because it doesn’t do what you tell him to do. You really want to find out who this buz driver is? You know, in this simulator, the buz driver is called Will Choice. The source of controlling your life is like the journey in the bus. Why is it we get suffering and it lasts too long? It shouldn’t last this long. Why is when I get some happiness, it goes too quickly? Buz driver, slow down. I’m going to enjoy this. I’m having a good time. This is fun. Why is it that you try and extend your moments of happiness and very often they are much shorter than they should be? Why is it you try and get out of suffering in life and it just lasts longer than it should? You want to soar out this person inside of you called the bus driver, the one in control of you, the soul, the self, the one in charge. And so the spiritual life is finding where that one in charge lives, finding the bus driver’s seat and. Of you. And eventually, through lots of meditation, through lots of reflection, lots of practice, you finally find the buz driver’s seat. The center of you, the source of all doing. The controller, the one in charge. When you’ve come to that bus driver’s seat, there you get the shock of your existence. Not of one life, but of many lives, because you find that bus driver’s seat is empty. There’s no one sitting in there. When you find that out, you go back to your seat and you shut up and stop complaining. How can you complain to anybody when there’s no one in there? Nice terror tree, unpleasant territory. Who cares? There’s no one to complain to anymore. That’s where controlling stops. You realize you can’t it’s a waste of time. Complete illusion. And with that all mental suffering stops. Nice territory par for the course. Unpleasant territory, par for the course. What do you expect from this life? To expect it to be perfect temperature all the time? Do you expect it to be getting married to things? Honeymoon for 30 40 years? What do you expect? Come on, get real. What do you expect having kids? Do you expect your kids are going to be angels? You decide to have kids. It’s your fault, your karma. We park you result of your karma. So don’t complain. You decided to get married, didn’t you? So don’t come to the mics and say oh, my wife is like this. My wife is like that. It’s not my fault. I didn’t tell you to get married. Actually, I tell you not to get married. Come become a monkey and that’s what I tell you. And you can’t complain to me about your marriage problems. That’s unfair. Now you’re all fine. So this is part of the course. So when we stop complaining. That’s when we stop suffering, we stop controlling. We let go. The more you can let go, the more you can stop complaining, the more you can start loving life rather than hating it all of life. The more peace you can get with this world, the less mental suffering you have. This is the way to overcome mental suffering until it overcomes completely realizing even this consciousness of ours is not mine. Not mine to control. It’s not my business anymore. I’m not going to control my wife, my husband, my children. I’m not going to control my monks. I’m not even going to control myself. I’m going to let go. Abandoning. Letting go. Renouncing. When you’re not controlled anymore, you’re free. What is a prison like? Have you been to prison or visited prison? There’s so many rules, so many controllers called the Warders. It’s controlling, controlling, controlling, control. That’s what makes a prison. When you let go, it makes freedom. So which one do you want freedom from? Mental suffering or controlling? There. It s up to you. So this is actually what mental suffering is all about. It was great seeing people who were free from mental suffering. Those great monks I lived with when I was young in Thailand, it they never controlled you. It was great being with them. They were supposed to be these powerful monks, but they would hardly ever tell you what to do. When you did something wrong, they wouldn’t punish you, they just laugh. They thought it was so funny. When you did something stupid, you weren’t controlled, you were encouraged. And giving freedom to grow nurtured encouraged praise when you did something well, just they thought it was so funny when you made mistakes, but you weren’t punished at all. That was a way of love. You wanted to live up to such great teachers, not because they were trying to control you, because you wanted to be in the same realm of happiness that they were in. It’s called letting go. It’s called freedom. It’s called non control. And it’s the end of mental suffering. Every time you’d be happy inside, have you been controlling or have you been letting go? The moments in your life when you felt spiritually free. What’s been happening? Has the world around you been perfect? Or is it just? You’ve stopped trying to make it perfect. You’ve accepted it as it is. You’ve let it go. That’s where you find the freedom, the peace, the end of mental suffering. So we meditate to train our minds to understand the end of mental suffering. The peace, the freedom, the bliss in the mind. Because when mental suffering ends, it’s replaced by mental bliss. The more you let go Earth, the more bliss you experienced. Not only in your meditation, but in your life. Because Buddhist monks and nuns in particular, understand how to overcome mental suffering. That s why we have a lot of mental happiness. As I said two weeks ago, that has been proven now in the University of Wisconsin showed that Buddhist monks are the happiest people in the whole world. That went right off the scale of the happiness meter. It was actually reported in New Scientists, wasn’t it? New Scientists. So is there proven? So you know mental suffering when you know the ending of it and that’s how you end it? So there you go. That’s mental suffering and its end. So hope you all understand that. Let go of mental suffering and have a good time. So there’s any questions, comments or complaints about mental suffering at its end? Mental bliss. Yeah. And what about people that can’t meditate? For example, someone with disability, people who say can’t meditate with a neurological disability? Sometimes I must admit that I’ve got not too much experience as a monk the with such people, although as a student, I used to go and visit people with mental disability once a week. And I must admit that sometimes it’s a bit difficult to say they can’t meditate. Maybe they can meditate in different ways. Maybe just you have to use different techniques, different methods, because people have been able to teach children how to meditate. And in a sense, especially with the philosopher Peter Singer, that children, in a sense, have got mental was it disability? The mental powers haven’t really developed yet when they’re very, very young. And that’s why sometimes people with mental disabilities, we say that they’ve got the mental age of a three year old or four year old, but we can actually teach children how to meditate. And we should maybe try those same methods for teaching people with mental disabilities how to meditate. Simple methods. I’m encouraging people to let go, kids to let go. Sometimes a lot of children actually meditate in invitation of their parents. Many people have told me this. They’ve been meditating in their home and their kids come and sit next to them. They just sit there. You don’t teach a kid how to meditate. They learn how to meditate just by following almost intuitively what their parents are doing and the parents are letting go. The child will let go. Maybe we can teach them just by example. I always like to push boundaries. Say these people can’t do it. They can’t do it. But why not? Maybe they can. Maybe their mental disabilities not being able to think too much might be a great advantage for them. But so let’s turn our disabilities into our advantage. I know it’s worthwhile trying to find out whether it’s possible or not. I don’t like to prejudge and say you can’t do it. Give it a go. Does that make sense? Yes. In the back? Yeah. Becoming true. If you got lots of mental suffering, the body usually follows afterwards and gets into suffering. That’s why a lot of physical problems come from mental suffering, from what we call mental stress, just the struggle to control everything in life. The body sort of wears out after a while and just the lack of happiness in the mind. Everyone knows that if you got lack of happiness in the mind, just so you haven’t got enough endorphins and nature’s painkillers, which always comes when you’re happy in the body. There’s so many stress chemicals get released into your body when you’re angry and upset, which actually basically kill you slowly. So when you got a good mental state, the physical state usually is very healthy. As people are so concerned about their health, but what they do is actually they forget that to look after their mental health much more important than what you eat, is what you think and how you think and how you look at the world. So, yes, certainly mental suffering is a forerunner of physical suffering. And the opposite of that, the mental health, is the therefore run the physical health. That’s why many people come to these places actually to become physically healthy. We get referrals from people who’ve got high blood pressure, people who got cancer. Yet you cure their cancer through meditation. Really what they’re doing is they’re just changing their mental state to a very positive mental state of happiness and well being. And the point is, it doesn’t really matter what’s on the outside, it’s actually what’s on the inside. And which is most important, how we can let go and allow things to be and not make problems out of things which we can’t change. It may have been abused as a kid, sexually abused. Can you change that? You can change your mental attitude towards it. Allow it to be. And don’t feel so guilty and get into all this bad conditioning about it. Learn from it and turn it to your advantage. This is why disadvantaged children, they can always use those disadvantages for their advantage. Turn it around. And so the point is, we get conditioned into thinking this terrible thing happened to me, therefore I must suffer. Therefore I must have this problem, that problem. We buy into it. We don’t have to. We can forgive, we can let go. The mental happiness which comes the mental freedom will make the physical freedom happen. It’s not your own physical freedom. You finding out relationships with other people with ease because you’re a happy person. And when you can love yourself with freedom, say to yourself, the door of my heart’s open to me. No matter who I am, no matter what happened to me. That’s the end of mental suffering. It means your body will be free and you’ll be able to give that same freedom to other people. So I can love you no boyfriend, no matter who you are, no matter what you do. And that way you have great relationships. A love which frees, it creates physical happiness. When you have mental happiness. So the opposite, it works as well. So much physical suffering comes from mental suffering. Even when I was a student, I remember this I was studying one day, I had a terrible, terrible cold. I was in bed. I couldn’t go to class that day. And I was staying in bed in this old house which a group of students had feeling really horrible. My eyes were just streaming. My nose was always I couldn’t even go to sleep because always blowing your nose every 10 seconds. I felt really terrible. There was a knock on the door and I just wish they’d go away. And they kept on knocking. So I dragged myself out of the bed and answered the door. There’s a delivery man. He was delivering my hi fi system. And I was really interested. I was glad I went to the door even though I felt terrible. I took delivery, I took it out to my room and I put it all together. And this was true story. By the time I put my first album on, I noticed my cold had gone. It wasn t just mental because I was actually physically eyestreaming, nose, blowing, it had gone, it disappeared. It and just the happiness, the excitement of getting my hi fi system, having some good music just got rid of all of the cold. It was an extreme example, extreme example how happiness and good mental attitude would actually overcame the physical suffering completely. And it abolished it. You can’t do that on purpose. If you say, I’m going to be happy to get rid of my cold again, it’s controlling again. So we can’t change, please. Let go. Yeah. How do we go about. Yeah. Www dot BSWA, was it? Sorry, the important word is BSWA. Buddhist society. West Australia. That’s the important one. Www.bswa.org.org. O-R-G it. And it’s all free because it’s not free, it’s priceless is what you should say, which is very, very good. So if you can’t come here, you can always listen to it on the Internet, especially if it’s a cold, miserable day. You can always stay at home and log in at home. So it’s on the on the audio streaming. So there we go. Thank you for coming. And hopefully you have no mental suffering. And if you really don’t have mental suffering, you wouldn’t need to come here again. You wouldn’t even need to turn on the internet. You’d be free. So may you all be free and happy and.

Guilt | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Guilt | Ajahn Brahm
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We are taught to forgive so that we can free ourselves from the past and move on to happier times. Guilt only makes you unhappy and makes you do bad things. Talking about forgiveness creates peace and prevents guilt. You can’t be happy if you don t think you deserve happiness. Guilt comes from judging, from treating someone as if they’re inherently bad. Guilt is a by-product of revenge, you don’t need it, and there’s a way to get rid of it. Punishment seldom works and often does more harm than good. Instead, try to acknowledge your faults and learn the ‘AFL code’ of Buddhism, which is to ‘Acknowledge’, ‘Forgive’ and ‘Learn’ from your mistakes.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 30th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


Guilt –
by Ajahn Brahm

(Robot generated transcript – expect errors!)

Okay. This evening’s talk, I’ve got another request. People always give me requests about the talks, which is great because it means that I can aim the talk according to people’s wishes. And the talk this evening is on guilt. Do you feel guilty for what you’ve done this last week? What have you been up to? Some monks can read minds. Do you want to head for the door quickly? It’s amazing that even though there are some monks who can read minds and all these great monks I used to live with in Thailand that some of them could read minds, they’re great. Actually, when it happens that I’m just going to go off the off the off the track of guilt for a moment be because I was telling one of the young visitors to our monastery who wants to become a monk he was having trouble with lust. So I told him the occasion when Ajan Chah read somebody’s mind once. This is why you got to be very, very careful traveling with great monks because sometimes you do that. And that was that time. I was in the back of the car and Ajan Chah was in the passenger seat being driven somewhere in Thailand. And in the back seat, together with myself, was a young American novice and a more senior American monk. And halfway in the journey, Ajan Chah turned round and he looked at this young American novice and said, which was translated into English as, you’re thinking about your girlfriend and this poor American novice. His jaw dropped almost to the floor. Ajahn Chah had been reading his mind. And at one of the most embarrassing moments, it was true. He’d been thinking about his girlfriend. And so a Genshaw laughed and said, doesn’t matter. We can fix that. And some of you know what’s coming, and said, what? How can you fix that? And he said. Look, you’re in Thailand and your girlfriend is in the United States somewhere. It’s a long distance away. Why don t you ask her to send something of hers? Something personal, something which can remind you of her. So anytime you feel lonely, you can look at that or get that out and remember her. It when I was translated, this American monk said is that allowable for a monk to do that? Can you do that? And I just oh, yeah. That’s okay. We’re compassionate. This is like modern Buddhism. And he decided to get interested. And so did we. We wonder what Ajan Shah was up to. And the next thing Ajan Shah said in Thai the American monk the translator just burst out laughing. It was really hysterical laughter. It took him about five minutes to calm down and actually translate what Ajan Shah had said. And Ajan Shah said, yeah, you can ask her to send something personal, something of hers. Ask her to send a little bottle of her shit. Then whenever you miss her, you can always open up the little bottle and you can think of her. That’s my girlfriend. That s a Jad char. He really got down to the point of things. And that can work for nuns and their boyfriends as well. This is not gender specific. It s truth. Why do you ask for some of her dress or some of her perfume or some want to get something which really reminds you that s mug s sense of humor? It but the point was that sometimes people read your minds. Are you ready to have your minds read? When I used to go and visit these great monks, I was afraid because I thought maybe they catch me thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about. One of the amazing things, though, about being around such great people was you felt so safe. And that if they did point out something to you, it wasn’t to punish you or make you feel bad. It was actually to help you. Because there was no idea of punishment in Buddhism. Doesn’t matter if you’re messing around and doing silly things. You weren t being punished for it. And this actually is part of the difference in Buddhism with the West Western ways of thinking when it comes to punishing people for doing bad, or rather punishing yourself for doing bad, which is what we mean by guilt. There was actually no real place for guilt in Buddhism. There’s remorse, but not guilt. And the difference between that remorse and the guilt is that remorse is there to help one grow, to learn someone doesn’t make the same mistake. But guilt is there to punish oneself, almost like revenge against oneself, as it is that we want to punish other people to get revenge. They hurt me, therefore I’m going to hurt them back. I’m going to give as good as I get. They deserve to be punished for what this terrible thing they did. How can they do that to me? I’ll teach them and. And that sort of attitude, which happens in many places in the world. You notice how that creates so much pain and so much difficulties in life. I remember reading in the newspaper about people going through divorces. You know, how much we want to punish each other. It s his fault, it s her fault. I m going to get back at him. What does she think she s doing? I remember this divorce which was going on in the US. This lady, she had the key to his apartment still. So she went in there on the weekend knowing he was away, and she picked up the phone and she rang, I think, England, London on the automatic timer time. At the first stroke, you’ll be 02:10 and 30 seconds and the next stroke could be ten plus two and 40 seconds. And she left the phone off the hook all weekend. So this was his phone call, which went on for about 48 hours and cost him about $5,000 in those days. Just out of spite. And that s actually sometimes the way we think to each other and think just what a sad mind that is. You re doing that just to hurt somebody because you think they ve hurt me, I ve got to hurt them back. But that same attitude of like, revenge was actually pointed out by the Buddha so many times. Hatred doesn’t cease with hatred, ill will harm doesn’t cease with more ill will and harm. If someone’s harmed you and hurt you, treated you wrong, treated you badly, then we got, like in Buddhism, we got Karma. Karma will sort it out. If they’ve done something really mean and horrible to you, you don’t need to punish them. Karma will sort it out if you’re a Christian, God will fix it if you’re a Muslim, so the Allah will fix it. So you don’t need to be the fixer to teach them a lesson. And if you don’t believe in any of that, if you’re a psychologist, you know, they’ll be have to be in therapy for years for what they’ve done to. So sooner or later it gets back to them. So you don t need to be the punisher. That s why we have this beautiful, like compassion where a forgiveness doesn t matter what a person has done. Your job, your part of the thing is actually to forgive and let go and let karma, let therapy take its toll and sort out the thing. And that’s the same with yourself as well. We look at ourselves some times and we treat ourselves even harder than we treat others. I’ve done something wrong, therefore I need to be punished. That’s what guilt is all about. Punishing oneself for someone’s done in the past. As I’ve mentioned before, that the guilt we know is a word which comes from the law. When somebody has committed a crime and they’re found guilty, what happens next? Sentencing. Punishing. Penance. And that’s been part of our Western legal system for a long time. As soon as guilt comes, next thing is penalty. Penance, punishment. And unfortunately, that doesn t work because what happens if someone has done something wrong and they get penalized or punished? All it really teaches them is, number one, not to get caught again because it’s not really telling them why they should be doing that in the first place. What the reason is, why. That is a law, why you should do these things. There is a very important part of like training somebody, as in training yourself. This is a great tip for mothers or fathers, a great tip for bosses or for adverts of monasteries. And it’s a great tip for you, the boss of yourself, especially in your meditation. It comes from the Chinese Art of war. It’s the story of the general who had perfect discipline in his army, in his regiment, much better than any other general. And the emperor wanted to find out what his secret was. And the secret was I only tell my troops, my soldiers to do what they want to do. That’s why they always follow my orders. But. Imagine that with your husband only telling him what he wants to do. Then he ll always do what you do, what he s told. Or telling your child, your son, your daughter, only telling them to do what they want to do. Then they ll always do what they re told, won t they? They’ll be the perfect son and perfect daughter. You can tell your friends, oh, my son, my daughter. He always does what he s told because I only tell him to do what he wants to do. Now, of course you think that must be stupid, but there’s something more profound in that saying. How can those soldiers want to get up so early in the morning? Because discipline in an army is very strong. How can they want to go and train hard all day, go on long marches? How can they want actually to go into battle and fight and get wounded? How can anybody want to do that? And the point was, what the General was really pointing to was inspiration, motivation and. He d motivated his soldiers actually to want to do this out of patriotism or whatever. It was a motivation came first inspiration, teaching, encouraging. So when it came the time that he asked them to go into battle, they wanted to with your child. When it comes to time to them to clean up their room, if you motivated them, encourage them, inspire them, think, oh, wonderful, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me to do that. What a wonderful thing. Now, they’ll always follow orders. You got to motivate, give them the reason why to do good. Punishment hardly ever works. And same with yourself. When we do make a mistake punishing ourselves, does that really make you any better? Does that really help you not make the same mistake again? Or does it? Put you into denial. I didn t do that. It wasn t me. It was somebody else. He made me do this. I remember when I went to visit my mother in England some years ago. I saw in the newspaper there was this televangelist, I think, Jerry Falwell, and he d been sort of all this firing brimstone about you have to be a good person and leaving Jesus and all this sort of stuff. And he’d just been caught with a prostitute. He’d actually been cheating on his wife. And I heard about this and I asked my mother to turn on the news and I saw him in there. He said, the devil made me do it. The devil made me do it. Just did, nigh, you did it. Don’t blame anybody else. And that but isn’t it the case that so often we sort of when we have guilt or when we have this guilt as part of our response to our mistakes, so often we just blame somebody else and. We re actually we re not really getting to the heart of things. Punishment just makes us actually push the blame onto somebody else s his fault, is her fault, it’s somebody else s fault, it s the government s fault. This is all part of the guilt thing and the punishment thing. So instead of having that, there s another way of dealing with these things in Buddhism, this is traditional Buddhism from 26th century is of when there’s a mistake made. There’s what we keep calling in Australia, the AFL code. Acknowledge, forgive, learn the AFL code. What we really mean here is that there’s no punishment involved. There’s no sort of trying to beat someone or give them a penance or make them wash the dishes all week because of what they did there’s. Acknowledge, first of all, and acknowledging is half the battle. When is guilt so often because of the fear of punishment and the fear of guilt, we just don’t even acknowledge what we’ve done. Sometimes you can’t even see it. What have I done? Why me? One of the prisoners I used to go and see in jail, he told me he only robs houses, he doesn’t rob people. You see how we, like, shift it away from actually what we’re really doing, sort of well. So they were poor, they were rich, I was poor. Why not? So it’s not actually lifting the burden. This is what happens when we have this punishment business. We don’t even acknowledge what’s actually happening. So in Buddhism, we have the idea of, like, acknowledging our faults, bringing them up to the surface, not through fear, because it’s fear of the punishment. Fear of what will happen is actually what stops us acknowledging the truth of what we’ve done them. It’s marvelous when you have people you can go to and you say, I’ve made a mistake, I’ve done something wrong, and you know, they’re not going to punish you, they’re going to understand and. Then you don’t fear going up to a person and telling them, acknowledging to them so often there’s too much fear. At least in a family. We should have enough love and trust, which is part of love, to not fear each other. So if you’ve made a mistake and done something wrong, you can go up to your partner and expect to be understood, good, I’ve done something terribly, terribly wrong. This is what I’ve done. And not to expect to have punishments, because when there’s punishment, there’ll always be fear. That’s why we don’t open up to each other. This is what would always happen with monks, like a gencha. You go up and say the stupid things you’ve done. And he’d usually he wouldn’t punish you, he’d laugh. He’d think, what amazing, wonderful, funny thing this was. Then he’d tell everybody in the next sermon and make everyone else laugh as well. That little stupid things. I remember once I went up to his hut once. I was just learning Thai. And it s a very poor monastery in those days and I needed some soap to sort of wash myself and the word for soap in Thai is something like saboo and the word for pineapple is SAPO. And I got them mixed up and so actually when I went up to Agenda, I asked for a pineapple and he looked at me and said, what do you want a pineapple for? And I said, oh, no, to wash myself. And he cracked up laughing, almost fell off his off his seat. He told everyone else, these Western monks, especially him, bam Wang, so he likes washing with pineapple. So instead of telling you to go back or punishing you, whatever, he just made big joke about it and it was just so funny. And I learned the difference between soap and pineapple as a result. So first of all, it’s like acknowledging bring it up to the surface and. And it s important thing to be able to do that. So much of the pain of our life, the mistakes of our life, we hide. We can’t tell anybody about that. That’s why we have, like, confessors people we can go to, who we can tell these things to, knowing that we’re not going to get punished, know that it’s not going to be to our disadvantage, just people we can open up to. Monks and nuns are like that. You can go and open up to monks and nuns. And usually they don’t tell anybody, but sometimes we do, because I remember one of these stories, this lady who was dying of cancer, and very often that sort of when they’re dying of cancer, they want a bit of help about how to die. And monks are great at knowing how to die. We died many times, so we’re pretty good at it. So I was helping her how to die and giving her a bit of counseling. And one of the things we do as like as a mug, as a counselor, I asked her, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life? It s a great thing to ask that question if you got that trust between you. What s the worst thing? What s the worst thing you ve ever done in your whole life? What is it? It s very hard sometimes. You wouldn t like to tell anybody, but she s about to die. So she told me. I actually promised her I wouldn t tell anybody, but I Veken that promise. I told thousands because it s a very funny story. It s actually quite sweet and quite moving. I thought it’s really nice because after a while I got it out of her. She said that once she kissed somebody else’s husband. I said only once. She said only once. I said no for about 65 years. Said that’s not bad. That’s the worst thing you’ve ever done, kissing somebody else’s husband when he actually she said that, and it came out and I sort of laughed and I wasn’t sort of giving her some sort of penance or punt penalty. I could see she had so much relief because she was so afraid of that. But. That it was something terribly, terribly wrong. That she was hiding that inside of herself. And it was part of her she would never acknowledge and never be at peace with. And as soon as she acknowledged it by telling me straight away, it was a sense of, like, forgiveness. There it was, realizing it wasn’t that bad, what she d done. And she could let go and be at peace so she you could die peacefully. This is what happens sometimes. There’s some things inside of us which we’ve suppressed, beaten down. It’s those things we feel guilty about. And sometimes the guilt is so deep inside of us, we’re not quite sure why we feel guilty. We haven’t even acknowledged the reason why. But guilt was built up over the years and we feel basically guilty, but we’re not really sure why. It. The problem is, once it’s guilt there’s, the punishment there. And that punishment is not wanting to be happy, not deserving happiness. Why should I be happy when I feel so guilty? And this is the big problem. Why aren t more people happy? Happiness is out there. Why not be happy? One of the main reasons why people aren’t happy is because they don t think they deserve to be happy. Once one of the nuns not the nuns here, this nun was only visiting, she was talking to me about her meditation. You know, we talk about very deep meditation here, get into bliss states, wonderful states, most extreme happiness you could imagine. She got so close once, and I was sort of talking to her about her meditation, giving her some instructions, and she said she got so close, it was like the doors were completely open to her. But she couldn’t go further because the thought came up, I don’t deserve such happiness. And the doors to deep meditation closed straight away. And that was a symptom which I ve come across with so many other people in this in this world. Happiness is almost right there for the taking. And something deep psychologically inside of us think, I don’t deserve happiness, therefore I m not going to take it. It can t be right. Happiness comes to our door knocking and we don’t allow it in because of guilt. And that’s so sad. So sad that it’s great to give a talk on guilt, acknowledge what you’ve done wrong, build it up to the surface so you haven’t got this suppressed sort of backlog of fear and punishing oneself. One of the friends, Buddhists, I haven’t seen him for quite a while now, but he told me that he was brought up in Sydney and you know, that Sydney to being on this beautiful bay and all these inlets. He was playing with one of his friends who lived next door on a Pierre. Just for a joke. As boys being boys, he pushed his best friend into the water. Unfortunately, the boy drowned. He d killed his best friend. He was only about six years old or five years old at the time. And he had to face the next door neighbors, the parents of this young boy who he’d killed. And he felt so terrible seeing the pain he’d caused, seeing the deep imagine, like losing a sort of five or six year old son. And he couldn’t get away with that. He was next door and seeing just the pain for so long after, he felt terrible. He had all this amazing guilt inside of him, even though the parents told him, look, it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t mean to kill him. It was just boys playing, that’s all. But he couldn’t let that go. And because he couldn’t let that go, he never did well at school, even though he was a very intelligent man. And he could never really have a good relationship. Why? Because he thought if he d done that to somebody else, he didn t deserve to be happy. He didn t deserve peace, he didn’t deserve joy. He punished himself for years. That s why he didn’t do well at school, didn’t have a happy school time at all. But he said once that it came, the time he was 16 or 17 or something, and he just realized, almost like an insight and understanding came to him. He didn’t need to feel guilty anymore. He understood what guilt was really about and how it was like a cancer eating at his happiness. It didn’t help the boy who died. His guilt didn’t help the parents. It certainly didn’t help himself. It just made one more miserable person in the world, one more maladjusted student in the school. And so he managed to forgive himself, understanding the reason why. It was for the happiness of himself and the happiness of everybody else to let go of guilt. It was the most compassionate. Worthwhile thing to do. And it s important that we remember that. Because sometimes we think, oh, I must feel guilty if I forgive myself, that won t help anybody. We think I ve got to punish myself as a service for the rest of humanity. But please understand, it doesn’t help anyone by you not being happy, by you punishing yourself. Who does it help? Who does it serve? What purpose does it fulfill? You certainly don’t become a better person. Guilty people have so much unhappiness inside of them because they’re punishing themselves, they tend to do bad things again and again and again. A lot of times we do bad things because of unhappiness. Because of unhappiness us, we say terrible things to others. Because of unhappiness, we do cruel things to others. As a happy person, can you ever speak ill of another? Of another? If you’re happy, you can only help and be kind to others. Look, every time you ve done something mean and spiteful, how do you feel? Where s that come from? It’s all come from unhappiness inside. That s why I understand when someone s spiteful to me, they’re mean to me. If they’re cool to me, I think, poor thing, they must be suffering today. I never think of what they re saying. I think of where they re coming from. I don’t really think of what they’re doing to me. I think of the pain which must be in their heart. They can do something like that because I know you can only do mean things when you’re unhappy. And this is what happens through guilt. You make yourself more unhappy so you make yourself do more bad things and you get guilt upon guilt upon guilt. You’re always doing bad things and stupid things. So instead of guilt we have acknowledging bring it up to the surface what have you done? And then forgiving forgiving is giving yourself an amnesty. But first of all you have to acknowledge that’s why in Buddhism. For the monks. If ever we break any of the rules of monks, all we do is go up to another monk and we just say, I’ve done such and such a thing. I’ve had a cake in the afternoon, not supposed to eat in the afternoon. And all the monk would say, I acknowledge that. Do better next time. Share it with me. Don’t say that. They don’t say that. No, we’re very good monks. What we actually say this is even the time of the Buddha, the people actually tried to kill the Buddha. And these assassins came up to the Buddha. They were sort of paid by somebody to kill the Buddha. When these assassins came up with their swords, I mean, a Buddha is just such a kind, soft, beautiful person. You can’t beg yourself to kill somebody like that. When they came up to sort of try and kill the Buddha, they sort of got all softened and got all woozy, and they sort of said, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even thought about killing you. And what the Buddha, they actually asked forgiveness, just, I’m sorry. And all the Buddha did was say, anyone who acknowledges their faults. Ask forgiveness and aspires to do better next time, because that’s called growth. That’s how we grow in Buddhism. That’s how we grow in psychology. That’s how we grow as human beings. We acknowledge, we forgive and try and do better. We learn from it. So all these people who were trying to kill the Buddha, the assassins he just for gave them he didn’t DOB them into the police and get them arrested. He just acknowledged their faults forgave them. Said, like, learn from this. Understand what it’s like to want to kill somebody and what’s happening. Don’t punish yourself, but learn from it. Somebody asked me today that just 15 year old son got caught for stealing. Please don’t make him feel guilty about what he’s done, because guilty make him feel really rotten about himself. Think he’s, like, hopeless and useless and a bad person. If he thinks he’s a bad person, he’ll become a bad person. You know that story about those I keep on saying about those two types of school children? Two classes very quickly, two classes of kids? Gave them the same exam at the end of the year, split the classes into two separate classes. The person who came first came in one class. Second and third went in the other class. Fourth and fifth went in the same class as the kid who came top. They split the children up into two equal classes. They gave them equally capable teachers rooms in the school with equal resources, made everything equal as possible, except for one thing. They called one Class A and the other one Class B. Even though they were absolutely equal from the exam, they just gave them a different name, class A and Class B. And it was only the head mistress, and a couple of psychologists knew this. So even the teachers for one year, they were teaching some children children in Class A. And they assumed that Class A was the top half from the year’s exam. So they taught 30 of those kids as Class A kids and they taught the others as Class B kids. The Class A kids were told by their parents oh, you’ve done very well actually. You’ve been so lazy. I don t know how you ve done so well, but never mind. Here s some extra pocket money. The ones in Class B do better next year, otherwise or else. The parents treated half the kids as Class A and half the kids as Class B as if Class B was the worst. And even the kids began to think of themselves as class children or Class B children, to the point where after one year they gave the children an exam again. And as you would probably surmise, the children in Class A did so much better than the children in Class B as if they were indeed the top half. It was a very, very devastating experiment done in educational psychology against the idea of streaming. When actually you do stream kids into Class A and Class B, they actually become Class A kids or they become Class B children. Which is why, if you re guilty, you feel that guilt. You become that offense. You become a Class B person. This is why judging and that s was where guilt comes from. Judging. Really. It can be so mean, so destructive of people s growth and happiness. What we do here is actually okay, you’ve made a force, so what now? Learn from it. Grow from it. And even if a person has actually stolen as a kid, please acknowledge that. Make sure that child knows what they’ve done. But no punishment. Forgive. I remember reading this story, another story of a Buddhist who was actually growing up in the United States some years ago. Many years ago, he’d lied to his father, and his father was dragging him to the bathroom to beat him with the razor strap. And. And the boy was just confused. He d lied. He d made a mistake. But why was his father going to cause so much pain to him? Fortunately, his grandfather was in the house his grandfather thought was going on and told his father, the grandfather s son, stop. Don t do that. And the father said, this is what you used to do to me when I lied. I’m doing it to my son now. The grandfather said I was wrong. Go away. He sent his son away. The father of this boy is about to be whipped. Sent the father away and took this little son and just gave him the big, biggest hug of his life. And the two of them cried. And he never lied to his father again. That is a way to learn. You don’t need to whip people, to beat people, to punish people. He knew he d made a mistake. He needed to acknowledge, have forgiveness and learn from this. That’s how we learn. My own father would told me. I remember this. He was a great man. He was very poor. The old joker used to say that we’d always leave our door open hoping that some burger would come in and leave us something. He’s really poor. Remember, actually, that there was one when I was very young. This was part of my family folklore that we used to have these open fires in England because it was very cold. Had a pound note on the shelf above the fire and the draught caught the pound note and it flew into the fire and burnt. My father sort of tried to reach out and save it and burnt his hand. My mother burst out crying because money, a pound note, meant so much to them. But my father told me once, he said, son, if you want something that bad, you want to steal it, don t steal it. Ask me, I ll buy it for you. When I realized how poor he was, and I realized he would do that if I wanted something that bad, I was willing to steal it. He said, Don t steal it. I ll buy it for you. When he told me that there s no way I was ever going to steal it, actually, I stopped wanting things because I knew he couldn’t buy it. But I realized if that’s how important it was for him that I wouldn’t steal. I would never would. That’s how we learn, because we learn just what it does to other people when we make mistakes, how it hurts others. Which is why all morality, all goodness and bad in Buddhism, it’s very, very simple, just really to the heart. Keep it simple, keep it truthful, and keep it easy to understand what ethics is. They know they have professors of ethics who write all these big books and what the Buddha did, he just cut right through all of this and said, if it hurts another person and it hurts yourself that’s bad, don’t do it. If it hurts. We know what hurts and harms. If it gives happiness, if it helps another person or helps oneself, that’s good. That’s basic of ethics. So all we really need to do if we’ve done something bad, we notice how it hurts others if I stole how it would hurt my father, how it hurt my mum, how it hurt the owner of that goods who I stole it from I know how much it hurts I acknowledge that I understand it. How can I ever steal? How can I ever hurt myself and hurt others? How can I really hurt the people who love me? What are we really doing there? We’re following that great general in the Chinese army you motivate, inspire, encourage, teach people why one shouldn’t do these things not through punishment we understand I don’t want to hurt anybody I don’t want to hurt myself that’s where ethics come from. We’re motivated and encouraged never, never to want to hurt another person, encouraged wanting to help another person, because helping another person, being kind, being compassionate, being generous is happiness. Hurting is depression, is unhappiness. So when we understand this, we don’t need to use pan to actually to teach people. We use acknowledgments, understanding, learning. When we’re learning, we don’t actually be goody goodies because we’re afraid of getting caught. We’re actually goody goodies because we understand why one shouldn’t actually harm another person. It says on that statue the teachings of the Buddha that which is good to avoid, that which is harmful, to cultivate the mind. This is a teaching of all the Buddhists. We do this because we want to bring happiness into the world and happiness to ourselves. We want to sort of somehow heal the pain in the world, to stop the suffering in the world. This is actually how we do it. So we start with ourselves. Whatever we ve done in the past, acknowledge it. Don t sort of hide it and think it didn’t happen. Face it courageously, not fearing you’re going to be punished for this. Acknowledge it and then take this huge step of faith and forget. Give no punishment. It takes courage to do that because it goes against the culture of the west. Forgive just like that. Grandfather forgave his grandson is about to be beaten. Absolute forgiveness. Far more effective. When one gives that sort of forgiveness and learning, we understand the stupid things we’ve done. There’s no need for guilt anymore. We have remorse. We’re sorry what we’ve done. But we use it as a learning to try and do better next time. Can’t you see that’s? The way we become better people. We actually free ourselves from the past. And that opens the door for happiness to us. We realize we don’t need to be punished anymore by the little boy who pushed his best friend into the water. The insight, the understanding, the enlightenment came up. I don’t need to punish myself anymore. It’s all right that I’m happy. When it’s all right that you’re happy, you find you can have relate relationships with other people in this world. Open ones. You can be open yourself up to other people because you don’t fear of opening up these black corners of your heart because you’re afraid of punishment. You can say these things to other people and you can be accepted with kindness and love. You know, you don’t need to be told off, retelling yourself off for years. You need forgiveness, acknowledgment forgiveness and learning that way that we don’t have to stop ourselves enjoying this world, enjoying happiness. So instead of actually allowing sort of guilt to keep on going on in our community and giving it as our inheritance to other people and thinking you have to feel guilty about this, do you feel bad about this? Do you feel bad about this? And only allowing a person off the hook if they feel bad about it. I was actually saying this in a law lecture in the law school in UWA a couple of years ago. I say that as a Buddhist, they get in big trouble, even bigger trouble than others if they get sort of sentenced. Because one of the things which the judge is taking into consideration is whether you feel guilty or not. Imagine some no Buddhist has done something bad. That’s how we’ve let that go. See, you don’t feel remorse an extra couple of years. Really unfair. But the point is, we can give forgiveness, forgiveness to ourselves. And sometimes a way to do that, if you have got something you feel very guilty about, you don’t need to go and even see a monk or a nun to tell them. Just tell yourself, Bring it up. Acknowledge what you’ve done. Think about it. Make it clearly conscious, and then do an act of forgiveness by saying to yourself, whatever I’ve done by body, speech or mind, intentional or unintentional, which has hurt or harmed somebody else, I ask forgiveness. S and I give myself forgiveness. I will learn from this. I will use it as what I call like dung fertilizer for the garden of my heart. I will grow from this. I will learn from this. And that way you can use all those experiences, all those mistakes, to become a better human being, not a worse one. We want more happy people in this world, not more miserable ones. We don’t need to punish people. Punishing people by putting them into jails. We all know that jails don’t work, but. So don t put yourself in the jail of guilt. Give yourself that freedom to let go of the past. So whatever you ve done in the past you know, one of the worst things which I did in the past may have seemed silly to you, but as a student trying to get a few extra pounds that help with my studies, I started setting encyclopedias from door to door. Children encyclopedias. It was all just based on a bunch of lies, basically. And I went out selling these encyclopedias and the worst thing which happened was I sold one and there was this poor little family, they just had like a child. I was taught to do this by the sales reps and make them feel guilty if they don’t buy this encyclopedia. Make them feel like they’re depriving their child of a decent education. Make them feel like they’re rotten parents if they don’t buy this book. And this poor family were just so soft and had their first child and I tricked them basically into buying this book. Oh, I felt so guilty after that for years I felt bad about that. I felt guilty I d done something rotten and bad. You know what happened? I told that here in sort of Nalamara about ten years ago and someone came up to me and said I don t know if it was you, the chances are it wasn t but when I was small a person came round my house saying encyclopedias to encyclopedias. My parents bought one and that was the best books I ever had. I love those books. I feel so good after that I’ve been torturing myself for years and years and years thinking I’ve done something really terribly wrong and actually it turned out it might have been even good. Have you ever done the same? So acknowledge and forgive and learn from these things so you don’t need to feel guilty about what you’ve done in the past. If you’re going to look at the past, look at all the good things you’ve done in the past. Why is it that when we look in the past we always think about the bad things we’ve done, the awful things we’ve done, the terrible things we’ve done and. If you’re going to actually look in the past at all, how about looking at the good things you ve done, the wonderful things you ve done in the past, the beautiful times you ve had together, isn t that make more sense, creates more happiness? You don’t just learn from mistakes, you learn from successes as well. When we talk about the law of karma as Buddhists, too many people think that the law of karma is I’ve done something bad, therefore I’ve got to be hurt. It’s always a negative side of karma. So you’re having a bit of a headache and you think, I must have hit somebody in my past life, someone has robbed my house, therefore I must have been a thief in my last life. I owe them back. Why that? When we look in karma, even as budhists, we always think about the rotten things which happen. We try and find the cause for the unfortunate things which happen in life. But it’s too few people. They look at the law of karma in Buddhism and thinking, I’m happy, I’ve got a nice relationship, I’m having a wonderful time today, and thinking, oh, yeah, that’s because of my good karma and. We can learn even much more from happiness than we can learn from pain. We learn the causes of happiness. I m well fed today. Had a good meal. That must be because you’ve been generous to starving people in previous lives. That s why you’re well fed now. You deserve this. You’re living in a nice house probably because you’ve helped homeless people before. You’ve reasonably healthy in your body because you’ve cared for sick people. All of these things which you’ve done don’t just look about the causes for your illnesses. Look at the causes for your health. Don’t just look at the causes for your misery. Look at the causes for your happiness. And and then you don’t just avoid doing bad things. You put a lot of effort into doing good things. The causes for happiness in the future. This is actually when we understand that it’s not just guilt looking upon the bad things we ve done in the past. How about looking at the good things you ve done in the past which have created happiness now? The things you’re proud of, the good things which you ve done, which created happiness, prosperity, harmony, peace in the world, or at least in your world. Look at those. Look and praise yourself for it. In Buddhism, we don’t think of punishing people for their faults. We certainly think of praising people for their successes. It’s completely opposite of guilt. We feel good about ourselves for having been good people, done a good thing, being kind, being generous every time been generous because of Buddhism, I haven’t just thought, okay, forget about that, otherwise you get proud. Every time I’ve been generous, I’ve thought about it. When I thought about it, remembered it, it makes me feel happy and makes me feel good. Why not? Don’t you want to feel happy? Don t want to feel good? So you look upon your past and look upon all the good things you’ve done and celebrate them. The old saying flattery gets you everywhere. So about flattering yourself say what a good person I am. Why not? Because mostly you are a good person. People, you’re much, much more good in you than bad when it comes down to it. But why not sort of focus on the good? Instead of feeling guilty about the bad? How about praising the good? So we acknowledge the goodness and we celebrate our goodness and we learn from it. What’s that? The ACL code. Was there anything ACL? I don’t know. Anyway knowledge. Celebrate and learn. Learn to do it again. And that way we become happier, more peaceful. More progressive people. We understand that mistakes are our growing pains. It s how we learn in the world. We have to accept mistakes, allow mistakes, learn from mistakes and don t carry our mistakes like a ball and chain around our heart for the rest of our life. The doors of the prison of guilt are always open at any time. We can walk out and it’s only ourselves. Keep those gates locked and refuse to walk out. That’s why it takes courage and faith to forgive ourselves to let go. That’s why we have these little ceremonies, little forgiveness ceremonies, to be able to say to yourself whatever I’ve done now or whatever the door of my heart is open to me, I forgive, I let go. Come and be at peace with myself when you can let go in those little ceremonies in your heart. Forgiveness ceremonies. You’re free of all that pain which stops you growing. Guilt again is like putting a rock on top of a flower. You can’t grow. Forgiveness is taking that rock off so you can grow to your own delight and for the happiness of others. So be careful of guilt. Understand guilt. Understand that it’s part of our character which is being conditioned, and it’s not a skillful conditioning. Use the code acknowledge, forgive, learn. Use that on other people as well, so you don’t punish others. Acknowledge, forgive, learn. And that way you’ll find you’re creating happiness in others and you’re creating happiness in yourself. Letting go of the guilt means you’re free to be happy. And this is what I wish for others? Surely it’s what you wish for yourself. So whatever you’ve done in the past, you are all forgiven. Everything. And that forgiveness goes from now and into the future. That’s what sometimes when people ask forgiveness, I say, you re forgiven in the past, present and the future. So don t have to ask forgiveness ever again. Isn, t that wonderful? It’s called efficiency. So that s a little talk this evening on forgiveness, the end of guilt. Acknowledge, forgive and learn. May you all be happy and may you all give yourself permission to be happy. That makes me happy to see you happy. So has anyone got any questions about this evening’s talk? Yeah, one. Come up very quickly. Okay, well, first of all, let them acknowledge what they’re doing. Take them aside. What are you doing that for? Because what’s the point of actually going to university is not to learn how to cheat. It’s actually actually to learn how to actually get that knowledge so you can take that into the workforce, so you can actually be empowered and. And getting other people’s information is not going to empower you at all. So tell them why they shouldn’t teach, why they shouldn’t cheat, rather why they shouldn’t cheat. Find out so that you’re teaching them the why. And obviously you got your responsibilities and duties as a teacher. There’s rules you have to keep. So if they cheat, they have to do the exam again, or they have to fail them or something, whatever. But don’t just punish them and just leave it at that. Try and explain and motivate them so they don’t do it again. Unfortunately, our system, it rewards people who pass exams rather than people who learn what the exams are supposed to be testing. And that’s one of the faults of our system. It’d be great if we sort of know. We used to have this graffiti at Cambridge that exams kill by degrees, it said. It’s very neat little saying. And it does sometimes. That s why, I mean, it s better this time when there s like continuous assessment and sometimes electorates assess you because of the whole work you ve done throughout the whole year. And it’s not just on one exam. So it s harder to read, to cheat. But if you do find it, they ve got to take responsibility for that. You got your laws and what you can do, if it s at all possible to turn a blind eye, if it s at all possible, and just tell them, look, please don’t do this again. This is why I’m putting myself on the line here by so turning a blind eye. I’m not doing this out of weakness. I’m doing this. I could fail you just straight away. So why did you do this? You’re here to learn not to cheat. See if you can actually find a different way than always, just the same way of just punishing stuff like that. That’s what I would do anyway. Well, this come to a place like this for a start, because you hear people actually go up and say it’s all right not to feel guilty. And it s allowable. It s not against the law to forgive yourself. And the more people go out there and say that, it s encouraging other people to give forgiveness because sometimes people say, Can I do that? Is that right? Will things get terribly, terribly worse if I forgive all these things? That s the fear. The fear that things will go terribly, terribly wrong. And the more it s encouraged to forgive and the more you see forgiveness happening like I was encouraged by my teachers. You do stupid things and say silly things and they’d be really idiots sometimes. And all they would do, they never punish you, they just laugh. It’s a big joke. You’re giving them happiness. And so encouragement is a way to overcome that fear. Obviously, there is what we call in Buddhism double guilt. You’re guilty and you feel guilty about feeling guilty. And that usually happens for people who come here because they think ajam. Brahm says you shouldn’t feel guilty, but I feel guilty. I feel bad about feeling guilty. That’s called double guilt. And then some people have treble guilt. They feel guilty about feeling guilty, about feeling guilty, and it just goes on and on. A complicated mind. So at least get rid of the double triple guilt. If you feel guilty, just feel guilty. Acknowledge the truth of yourself and then just find at least some of the ordinary things to forgive and just chisel away at the lesser offenses and see other people who’ve also forgiven. You’ve been a murderer and you’ve forgiven yourself. You’ve actually raped somebody and you’ve forgiven yourself. You can do that. And that encourages people. It’s possible, and it’s good, and it’s conducive to the growth and well being of the whole society. Unfortunately, we got a very revengeful society which doesn’t like forgiving at all. That’s where the problem lies. We are afraid to forgive, terribly afraid. It’s got to be positive forgiveness. Have you heard me say before? Not just for forgiving and just allowing it to happen. It’s acknowledged forgiving learning. The learning process is part of it. But forgiveness has to come first before you learn, when you’re still punishing, you’re still denial, afraid, never facing up to what’s happened.

Happiness | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Happiness | Ajahn Brahm
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The key to happiness lies in contentment and letting go. The happiness that comes from being generous comes from freeing ourselves from our attachments and worries. Buddhism teaches us to let go of negative thoughts and emotions associated with death and sickness, and to be happy in the face of these occasions. Buddhism teaches that true happiness comes from understanding the Four Noble Truths and practicing the eightfold path. This can be achieved by following the basic tenets of the religion, such as detachment, acceptance, control of desires, and contemplation of the moment’s beauty. When tragedies happen, we usually focus on the things that are going wrong. But when we focus on what’s actually going on inside of us, we start to see that life is always changing and that it’s always going to pass. This allows us to be happier and handle difficult situations better. Buddhism teaches that by slowly letting go and becoming more at peace, we can be free of our past.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 30th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.


Happiness
| by Ajahn Brahm

(Robot generated transcript – expect errors!)


So for this evening’s talk, I’m going to talk about happiness. Is that a good title for the talk? Yeah. And the reason is because the last week I’ve been got so many letters, emails, all sorts of stuff, because finally they proved that Buddhist monks are actually more happy than others. Listen, I’m enjoying this. This is many extracts here. This was from the Times of London. On scanning the brains of Buddhist monks and others who practice religious meditation, two groups of researchers separately confirmed that it is visibly biologically provable that such people are happier than the norm. And my comment? See, I told you so. All these years we’ve been telling you this. And finally it’s been proved. Those who follow the Four Noble Truths and cultivate detachment, acceptance, the control of the desires and the contemplation of the moment’s beauty are not only serene, but strong. The gymnasts of the mind, said one scientist, admiringly even when not enrapt in formal meditation, they are less likely to be shocked, flustered, angry or even surprised. You can experiment as found fire a gun near them, but please don’t try. And they barely jump. Yet at the same time, they are unusually sensitive to tiny signs of emotion in other human faces. We can now hypothesize with some confidence, said Professor Flanagan of Duke University, North Carolina. That, though, is apparently happy, calm Buddhist. They say souls here calm Buddhist, non souls really are happy and. They say here the basic tenets of Buddhism are easier to turn towards. Live every moment and every act. Fully accept that all things pass. Control your desires without starving them. Do not kill or quarrel. Hatred cannot be ended by more hatred. Forgive others than yourself. Be kind. Contemplate the beautiful. Many of its sayings are superb. I am particularly fond of the maxim that churning water for however long a time does not produce butter. That’s actually from the suitors there. And they really said that. But it’s wonderful. Churning water for however long time does not produce butter. So trying to make money does not produce happiness. There are government ministries that would do well to put that up on the wall. It what is it here. I got here okay. They’re doing about the investigation here of prozac and other things to make you happy. There are safer routes to calm the conducts. We should not need so many of these happiness pills that s POSAC and that stuff. The conduct of consciousness is private to each one of us. And you can t pass laws compelling meditation. Why not? But there are aspects of public policy that help or hinder these intimate, private routes of happiness. Local authorities who tend green, quiet spaces in the midst of noisy cities and spend effort on holding back noise and vandalism may find it hard to justify the cost financially. But they are probably helping as much as if they built another hospital. I want to say that I think I really agree with that. Primary schools which hold a meditation period, or instead a chill out room with soft music and colors, report extraordinary improvements in the behavior and learning of stressed hyperactive children. You see, so all these years I’ve been saying this works. Finally, the scientists, they did brain scans and they actually show that the Buddhist monks meditators are happier. So this is what we are coming here for the sake of happiness. And why is that? So is because this is basic Buddhism. We all know. If anyone asks you what is Buddhism teach? You can say the Four Noble Truths. We just mentioned it in there a few moments ago. The four Noble truths. And you know the way the Four Noble Truths are taught here. The Four Noble Truths are happiness, the cause of happiness, that sometimes there isn’t happiness, and why there isn’t happiness. Some of you have read the books, some what the Buddha said. He said suffering, the course of suffering, the end of suffering, and the way to the end of suffering. But the end of suffering, as I keep on saying here, is happiness. The way to happiness is this eightfold path. And sometimes there’s no happiness. Why? Because of craving desire. That s why there s no happiness sometimes. So this is actually basic Buddhist teachings. This is what the Buddha started teaching right from the very beginning. Away to happiness. If there s no happiness, why there s no happiness? If there is happiness, why there is happiness? The cause and effect of happiness. And so anyone who understands those teachings and starts to put them into practice, if it’s no true teachings, it should make you happier. And so this is actually basic Buddhism, the path of happiness. This is what we’re doing it for. Certainly why I was doing it for. The reason why I started meditating was because it was happy. It was just so much fun. A different type of happiness, a different type of fun. But I’ll come across that later on in this talk. The reason why I kept precepts why kept my five presets because it was fun to do this really struck people. What are you doing this for? You’re trying to go to heaven or trying to be some sort of fundamentalist Buddhist by giving up alcohol in university? It was actually more fun to do that. I keep telling people that when I gave up alcohol at university, it was a courageous thing to do. All my friends were all into alcohol, going to the pub in the evening, having a few beers, getting drunk. I gave it up and I thought that was it. My friends would not like to go out with a wowzer again, I thought invited to any more parties. But you know what happened to me? I got invited to even more parties than I did before. And the reason was because they wanted somebody sober to drive them home afterwards. There’s many advantages in giving up alcohol. Then you enjoyed yourself before when you took alcohol, the first part of the party you remembered the last party, didn’t know what you were doing, was very dangerous. So it’s marvelous to bear. I was happier. I became a happier person. And so what Buddhism was actually encouraging me to do is actually be happier and happier. And it was true. The happiest people I’d ever seen when I was a layperson were Buddhist monks. Actually, when I saw them, I thought, this is very interesting, because I’d seen the theory and I wanted the examples, examples of people who’ve been practicing all these things for so long. Does it work or doesn’t it work? What I saw, my goodness, it worked. When I decided to become a monk, I was so impressed that in this type of Buddhism, that you don’t have to become a monk for every her. As long as you’re happy, having a good time, you can stay as a monk. As a monk, you can disrobe at any moment. There’s not much of a ceremony required. I can just turn to any one of you and just say, right, this is it. I’m leaving. I’m not a monk anymore. Oops but you have to mean it as well. That’s all it needs, actually, to leave. And that really impressed me with Buddhist monasticism, because it meant that you weren’t trying to control a person just because of some vow they made many, many years ago. And it meant because it was so easy to leave the monkhood, the only reason why people were still there was because they must be getting something out of this. There must be some enjoyment, some fulfillment, some fun, and. That actually promised to me that there was something behind this this whole path of Buddhism. And when you went over to when I went over to Thailand, where I studied as a monk, where I became a monk again, those people out there were just so happy. It’s crazy that they weren’t having any alcohol at all. There’s no sex involved. There’s no beer, no movies, no Matrix. And they were just so happy. There’s a Matrix craze at the moment. Stupid. And they were just so happy without all of this. And that really started to sort of show me something. That what real happiness truly was. Certainly there’s a few of the experiences which I had as a young man. I went to, like, a big university, just scholarships. My father was very poor. I was quite bright as a kid. I went to this big college called Cambridge where your designation was called Young Gentlemen. I had long hair, hippie bees, green velvet trousers. I was anything but a young gentleman. And in this particular place you were living because of the college system. You’re actually living and associating with all his professors and lecturers. Some of them were noble laureates and. And you got to know them personally. And one thing which I found out was that just because you’re brilliant in your field of science or whatever, it doesn’t mean you got any idea about life. Some of these people were going through divorces, were going through personal problems. They weren’t happy. And that actually really was one of the reasons why I left academia, because with all of the intelligence, it didn’t seem to be used for the right purposes of being happy. So intelligence just wasn’t seemed to be the way to be happy. When I went to Thailand, I saw these really, really poor people. They were so poor, but my goodness, they were happier than some of the rich people I knew in college. Some of these people were almost millionaires because their parents were very rich and they got good education and sent them to college. And my goodness, some of these were so rich, but they weren’t happy at all. And I started looking, if I was going to sort of live anywhere, I’d rather live as a poor farmer in the northeast of Thailand and as a rich person in London, basically because they seemed happier and. But one of the first things which I found over there was that not all of the Thai villagers were happy. Some were as miserable as the people I knew in the west but some were really happy and at peace with themselves. This is 30 years ago and I soon found out the people who were happy in the village were the people who had the all village. All the families always had water buffalo to plow their fields. That was almost part of the family. The people who were happy were those villagers who had one water buffalo and were content to have one water buffalo. They were as happy as anything. Always ready to smile and to talk with you and to help out in the monastery. Always ready to have a joke. Always light hearted. Just they were happy people. The sort of people you never see or very rarely see in the Western places. But it wasn’t all the people. There were some of the villagers who wanted to get on in life. Those are the villagers who had one water buffalo and wanted two water buffaloes. They were the ones who weren’t happy. And I started to realize it was like rich wealth and poverty has nothing to do with how much you have. Nothing at all. Because I see many people rich in their hearts, happy people who ve got hardly anything. I ve seen poor people who ve got millions and millions and millions and live in big mansions. I remember I tell the story that went as a man. Sometimes one of our jobs is to go house blessing go to people’s houses and just bless them. One family well not family one house I went to once in Perth a big mansion I think it’s in Shelley or something on the riverfront and they’re huge mansion is a by thai lady I think she’s left there now. And during the ceremony, I asked to go to the toilet. And this is no joke. This actually happened. She had to draw me a map. How to get to the toilet in a mansion. It was that complicated and part of the thing we have this little holdy water we sprinkle in all the rooms I love doing that because I actually get to see so have a sticky beak around people’s houses it. And she had took me so long, actually, to bless this house, because so many rooms. What really struck me afterwards was there’s only one person lived in it. Herself. She had no friends, no family, no children. She lived in this huge mansion all by herself. That was just so sad, so lonely. She had huge wealth, but no happiness. So to me, anyway, I realized that being rich doesn’t mean having big houses. Being poor doesn’t mean sort of living in a dirt hut, poor or rich. I’m talking about rich in happiness or poor in happiness. It doesn’t depend on how much you have, but your contentment. Which is why the Buddha kept on saying that contentment is the highest wealth. It’s the richness, it’s the happiness of the heart. And that’s what I actually saw in these monks and these lay people in Thailand. They had this beautiful sense of contentment and happiness. Sure, they worked hard. They didn’t want so much. And this is actually the core of reason why Buddhists are more happy, because we’re encouraged not to want so much. Basically, wanting is the cause of suffering, craving, desire, letting go. Contentment is the cause of the ending of suffering, of happiness. It’s a very powerful teaching because it goes against a lot of what we do in the west, and it’s part of meditation, it’s part of life. We all know if you try and meditate wanting things, you just get suffering. It’s a Buddhist second noble truth, which is why I keep on saying here, there’s two types of meditation in the world we talk second noble truth meditation and third noble truth meditation. Those are two types of meditation people do. Second noble truth meditation is called craving. I want I want to be peaceful. I want to sort of get blissed out. I want to see my past lives. I want to see the lotto numbers for this week. I want to get rid of my pain. I want to get rid of my sickness. All wanting, wanting, wanting just leads to suffering. The Buddha said this, and it’s basic Buddhist teaching. The Buddha said letting go, giving up, craving is the way to happiness. That’s the third noble truth meditation. This is the way I’ve been teaching for the last few years. Just sit there and let go. The door of my heart is open to this moment, no matter what it is. It’s contentment. It’s putting happiness into the moment rather than seeking happiness from somewhere outside. And. Instead of going searching for happiness in somewhere in the future, in somewhere, I get rich, I get win the lotto, become famous, find a beautiful partner in the world, get rid of all my problems. So solve this, solve that, then I’ll be happy. And of course you know that that is never the way to happiness. You’ve been doing that all your life. Is your life, your work finished yet? Have you that happiness yet which you’ve been struggling for all the time? Of course not. There comes a time when you stop all that struggling to try and find happiness somewhere outside of this moment, outside of you, outside of your family. That’s why that happiness lies in contentment and letting go. It’s a strange thing happens. That what craving, what desire, what the promises. If you work really hard, then you’ll be happy. Try and get this, then you’ll be okay. Isn’t that what the adverts say? If you actually go and see the Matrix, then you’ll really be happy. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen that. Go and sort of go overseas, go to Paris. You haven’t been to Europe yet. You haven’t been you haven’t lived, you haven’t been happy. If you haven’t sort of fallen in love, you’ve never been happy yet. You don’t know happiness until you’ve had a child. All this sort of stuff craziness. So what is happiness? You find? So sometimes I ask people, the moment in your life, when have you been most happy? Just ask yourself that question. The time so far in your life when you’ve really, really been happy. Happiest moments of your life, what have those been? I remember just as a student when I was working, trying to save up to go overseas. I got my scholarship to Cambridge when I was only 17 and had nine months off. It wasn’t really a gap year, it was just what happened. So I had nine months between finishing school before going to university. So I got a job and saved up and was going to go to North Africa and United States, Central America. I had a great time opening my eyes to different cultures in the world. Remember at lunchtime I was having this little job somewhere in Kenton, and I go into sort of Hyde Park, just to sit by the lake. It’s interesting. The lake was called Serpentine. Perhaps it was an omen of things to come. And I get so peaceful there, just so content. Hardly worry in the world. I thought, this is really what life is all about. Just sitting by a lake with no responsibilities, free, at ease with my lunch hour. And of course, later on in life, when you were working hard as a school teacher you got all these responsibilities and you lost that sense of peace and discontentment. It was only later on, as a monk, you got that contentment back again. Just when you’re sitting by a lake. Now, as a monk, you sit by the mind which is the beautiful lake inside. Just content. Having your lunch hour. Lunch hour is a very beautiful concept because it’s the space we have between our work where we rest and we relax. It this is what letting go really means. Too many people think that to let go you have to do absolutely nothing. Those of you who’ve been to see the monks in our monastery at Serpentine or go and see Sister at Kichigan you know, just we work really hard. But not all the time. No matter how much responsibilities and duties you have in the world, the monks learn how to put all of that down for a few moments to rest and find their inner happiness. This is the reason why people don’t find happiness. They don’t know how to stop. So much of our lives we keep going hour after hour after hour. In the last week, how often have you just stopped and paused in your week and just allow everything to calm down and come to a stop? Just to sit by the lake for lunch hour, just to be at peace. We’re always moving, always walking, always running, always chasing, never stopping. This is why we find no peace, no happiness, no sense of freedom in our world. We just become just obsessive doers. We’ve forgotten how to just stop from time to time. This is one of the reasons why Buddhist monks are happy, why it’s proven to be so. Do we know how to stop? How to let all those burdens down on. Just for a few moments. It’s called nonattachment, which means letting go. Sometimes we have to contemplate this first, actually, to at least convince ourselves it’s worthwhile doing. Why is it we always worry about the past so much? Why is it we always just concern ourselves about the future over much? It’s just an obsession which we have. It’s got no validity rationally. We all know that. The past is just so uncertain. What you think happened probably never did happen. Just as somebody was telling me just the other day, they’re involved in a car accident when they went to the police station. They put the report in to the police station and afterwards they realized they made a mist sake and they thought, oh my goodness, that they’re going to go to jail for that. They lie to the policeman or to the police station. I tell them, look, it’s well known, ask any policeman, that when two people see a traffic accident and they take the witness statements, five minutes later, those witness statements will be completely different than what actually happened. Even in five minutes ago, we can’t remember exactly what happened. One of the old meditation tricks sometimes we do to see how mindful people were. Your shoes, where did you leave them when you came into this room? Are you sure? You think you’re sure? One evening, after one of these talks has happened, actually many times, someone came in afterwards can we use your phone? Because their car had been stolen after one of the talks. So they called the police and of course, our caretaker went outside and said, what color is your car anyway? Because there’s one car left just on the other side of the car park. They’ve forgotten where they parked the car. They were sure they put it there, but it went actually somewhere else. Now, I think you can all relate to that, can you? The reason why you can relate to it is because our memory is so uncertain. So why do we bother about the past so much? We don’t know what really happened. We think we do and that’s a problem. When we know it’s uncertain, we can actually let it go. Isn t it wonderful to be free of the past? Look at how much pain it causes what happened to you when you re a kid whether you pass the exam or fail the exam whether this happened or that happened, it’s all gone now. You don’t need psychologically rationally. You don’t need to carry around the past because it’s come a habit of ours and because of our habits that we just torture ourselves with the past. If you’re going to remember the past, why do you remember the good things which happened in the past? Why is it we always remember the bad things which happened in the past? Why is it that when we go home after a day’s work how’s your day at work today, A? The boss shouted at me today. What else happened? Why do you always remember the rotten things which happened today? We had a car accident. How many times do you drive and you didn’t have a car accident? Do you go home and you say to your wife, oh, it s wonderful. I didn t have a car accident today. Isn t it wonderful? And no one shout at me in the office today. Why is it we always focus on the faults of life? Or rather, we always focus on the faults of the past? It s just an obsession we have with Buddhism. We actually see through wisdom, through training. We don t need to do that. It we don’t need to focus on the faults, focus on feeling guilty or feeling being a victim. We can actually let the whole thing go. It’s allowed. It’s good. Other people do it. You do it and you’ve become more happy. Become free of your past. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to do? Completely free yourself of all the past gone. So you’ve just got the present moment and the future. All the scary things which we have to think about what’s going to happen next? People get so scared of life. Brisbane Wells in Singapore, so many people were scared of getting SARS. I was telling, look, the chance of getting SARS are just so minimal. When I was there in Singapore, hundred people had SARS. It was in the newspaper, 100 people today, 104 people. My goodness. I was trying to get those newspapers to put in 3,990,000 people. 900 didn’t have SARS today. And. That’s true because it s 4 million population in Singapore. Just think how many people didn’t have that disease. And that actually puts perspective in what? S going on. Why is it that we just focus on the faults all the time? Focus on negativity fault finding. This is why in meditation we train ourselves to seek out beauty. To see the beautiful even in the breath. This simple thing like a breath, just going in and going out, going in, going out. It can be the most beautiful thing in the world. We see the beauty in simplicity. Why do you need a television to see all these nature movies? We got Cotterslow Beach at sunset. We got these beautiful forests. We got the southwest. Why do you need to actually to manufacture beauty when you have all the beauty you like just in the moment right here? Why do you want to seek out happiness somewhere else? We’ve got so much happiness inside of ourselves if we’d only pause and stop to look. This is what actually the Buddha was saying in is to go against the stream of the world which goes to seek happiness somewhere out there in the relationship, in the movie, in the food, in the sex, somewhere out there. Then I’ll be happy. Buddha said, stop, you find you have all the happiness you’ll ever want. Stop looking, stop searching. Stop trying to seek for things. When you stop, happiness is right there with you. This is why the whole path of Buddhism is all about slowly stopping, slowly calming, letting go, being more at peace. That’s the underlying theme of happiness. When we start letting go, how do we start letting go? We start letting go by being generous. We’re doing a little fundraiser today because many of the Buddhists are Sri Lankan, because there’s been huge floods in Sri Lanka. They haven’t been publicized very much, but they’re there and people are dying. There’s a little collection out the back there. Wonderful thing to let go. Little bit of money in Australia, goes a huge way in South Asia. This is why we do this. Maybe not because the people in Sri Lanka, actually, they do need it, but we also need to help to give. It’s like a bit of letting go, a bit of renunciation, a bit of freedom. And if you just give a little, you get so much happiness back. I’ve done that in my manner, in my lay life, even my monastic life. Every time I give something, give my time, give energy, go and help somebody, you just get so much back in return, so much happiness. Why? The reason is because it’s being selfless. Giving up, letting go, not wanting anything, but just giving for the sake of giving, sharing for the sake of sharing. This is why it makes one happy. So we’re not doing this to get to heaven afterwards. We’re not doing this to get brownie points. We’re doing this actually for happiness. That’s why it’s so often that if anyone’s been to our monasteries at Giddy, Ganop, at Serpentine, even this place here on the weekend, have a look at how much food people bring for the monks. There’s much, much more than we can eat. Sometimes. I remember just this one monk the first time he went to England and there s all these people gave him so much food. And this English man came up to never seen a monk before. Looked in his bowl and was actually amazed, actually disgusted, actually, how much food this monk had in this bowl because he looked in and said blimey, that s enough to feed a bloody army. That s what he actually said. So this monk was a bit embarrassed, but he told us a story afterwards because he only eat one meal a day. So it has to be quite a bit. Imagine all your dinners all put in one bowl. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and all that. We eat in between. Of course it’s a lot. But imagine people bring so much for the we ask, Why do you bring so much? It’s not that we need it. Why do people go all the way from Earth all the way to certain town, an hour’s drive there? We’re the only place where people actually bring us dinner, where we have guests and where the guests do the washing up. If you invite guests for dinner, at least you to the washing up. There are guests to the washing up as well. They feed us, they do the washing up and they take it away afterwards. And I asked Cuban, I said, Why do people do that? And all the time the same answer could they get happiness out of this? They get happiness out of caring, looking after, sharing. That is the first type of happiness coming from letting go. The happiness of generosity. Just caring, sharing, giving for others. It doesn’t have to be money. Just giving time, giving energy, giving effort for others. People go and work in hospices, hospitals, just for the sake of it. This is where you get so much happiness out of this. For two years, when I was a student, I spent every Thursday afternoon going to a local hospital, helping out with down syndrome kids. I got so much happiness out of there. So much so that in the last the last time when I was in the last time, one of the last times I went there in the afternoon. I’d been working with these kids for so long that everyone trusted me. They gave me the whole group to look after as two groups. I looked after one whole group myself in the first session. Then we’d stopped at tea and I looked after the second group in the second session. I didn t know what was going on. I was stupid. After the second session, they put all the two groups of kids together with all of the occupational therapists and all the other nurses there, to make a presentation to me. Of all the students who ve ever helped out volunteer there, I’d been there by far the longest, and they wanted to thank me. And so all these kids, these down syndrome kids s had actually tried to make little things, little presents for me. They weren’t sort of very well made because these kids could not do very much. They all presented me with these things and my goodness, you cried. It was so touching. Because I was stupid. I didn’t expect I didn’t know what they were up to. And after making this presentation, they said that you’ve been the student who’s come here the longest. We know that it’s finals week next week. You have to do your exams, so this will be your last session. And I always remember this. I actually asked and said, look, my exams don’t start for another week. Can I please come back next week again? And I actually almost beg to come back again. And I did this because I enjoyed it. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I got happiness out of that. It wasn’t doing service in the sense of, you know I was I was trying to sort of sacrifice myself for others. I was getting so much happiness out this it was fun. I was learning about how compassion makes you happy. Our service giving it’s letting go again. That’s actually why I started keeping my precepts because letting go you didn’t need to have alcohol to be happy. You didn’t need to sort of lie to get your way in the world. You didn’t need any of these things. You’re happy quite naturally. Why is it that sort of people have to go and drink to be happy? I can’t understand it myself. Happiness is natural to people if you can just let go and stop worrying about things to be able to let go of the past, not be afraid of the future if you enjoy each other’s company, if you’re in an airplane, so what if it gets hijacked? Nice story to tell people on a Friday night when you come to Perth there’s people in Singapore told me once that if you actually get killed in an aircraft it’s one of the best ways to dying for two reasons like dying in an air crash. The reason is the first of all it’s instantaneous, you don’t feel anything and number two, your relations get a big insurance payout and there’s no need for a funeral. Number three you sort of cremated on the spot saved a lot of problems going to funerals just sort of funeral last Thursday spending hours and hours in this ceremonies and boxes three reasons why it’s a great way to die if you’re on an aircraft crash you see what we’re meaning there is actually sort of making it enjoyable. It. Why not? Because in Buddhism you try and make happiness out of anything. And this is not just saying this. This is true. You get sick and I say, what a wonderful opportunity. You’re sick at last. You’ve got a chance to rest, stay in bed all day. Isn’t that wonderful? Is it wonderful? You got an opportunity for other people look after you. So many people tell me this, that when they’re getting these great sicknesses, they feel so touched how many people care about them. It becomes this beautiful way of people being allowed to express their compassion to other people. That’s why if we really know about sickness and how to deal with it it becomes a beautiful time of our lives for those who can help us and serve us and look after us. That’s why one of those mugs, years and years ago, visiting his parents in Chicago chicago is a very, very cold city, especially in the winter snows. It’s icy. He slipped and broke his leg and. Was put in hospital and he told me that when his mother came into the ward and saw him, she had a big smile on her face he couldn’t understand why. Are you happy that I’ve got broken my leg? His mother said. At last I’ve got you where I want you. Because his mother just wanted to him. And now he was in hospital for a couple of weeks. He couldn’t go anywhere. He was stuck there. Great. I can bother you. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to help other people, to serve and look after them, care for them? It’s a privilege to care. If you know about letting go, you get so much happiness of looking after someone else who’sick in pain. Seeing how I can actually relieve and help that pain. I can be a friend to you, how I can care for you, how I can express my love for you. Sometimes it’s so hard to express love. But when a person’sick we can do that. It’s almost like one of the times we’re allowed to really just show how much we care. That’s why sickness can be such a wonderful moving time. So even in sickness, you can make it good, enjoyable, growing from it. You can make it happy. And that s why, if you bring happiness to sickness, the sickness doesn’t last all that long. Happiness means the endorphins in the bloodstream. Sort of get secreted. Nature s painkiller increases the immune system. This is actually why you keep it happy, even in hospital and even in deaths as well. You’ve seen all the times I’ve done funeral services. Many of you have been to those already. And if you haven’t been to one yet, you will do one day when I go and do yours. And you make them happy. Why not last Thursday? Yesterday was a funeral service for Sri Lankan lady who died. 42. Comes here regularly. You one of the things I noticed there. I gave a nice little sermon there. Little talk about just no, death is okay. Nothing wrong with it. But that is afterwards, just when I had everybody so nice and calm and peaceful. But what happened was when people actually gave their condolences and. It was like Westerners. They weren’t Buddhists. And I sort of really should have gone up and told them look, don’t do that ever again. Everyone was nice and peaceful, but then they came out, oh, you poor thing. Oh, isn’t it terrible? Oh, isn’t it awful? Oh. And of course, they sort of conditioned that response from other people. They made the death sort of a sad occasion just because of unwise responses to what’s going on. It wasn’t their wife who died, but they said, oh, isn’t it sad? Isn’t it terrible? Because we’ve been conditioned to think like that. And Buddhists, when they’ve changed that conditioning, they can actually take all of these occasions in life death and sickness, disappointments and they can handle it with much greater ease, less suffering, even with happiness. After all, when a person dies, their job in this world is over. It’s like retiring. Aren t you happy when you retire? You don’t have to go to work anymore? Just like some of the prisoners I used to see in jail, when they got released from prison, they used to work their custom. They shouldn t be doing this. They’re supposed to be Buddhists but they used to have these champagne breakfast starting javadale. They were free. When you’re dead, you’re free. Free having to go to work in the morning, free from having to sort of all this painful body, which is usually happens when you’re dying, isn’t a wonderful thing. So a lot of times that people have the wrong attitude towards these things and as Buddhists we can see things in a different way. Said here many, many times when you die, do you want other people to be upset and cry? When you die, do you want other people to be miserable that you’re not there anymore? Of course not all human beings, because we love our friends, our relations, our loved ones, we want them to be happy. So why are people just so stubborn and never pay any account to the person who they’re supposed to be paying respects to? If they were really paying respects to the person in the coffin, they wouldn’t be so sad, because paying respects is respecting their wishes and wishes for you to be happy. So it’s just a different way of looking at things. And this is, again, letting go. We know how to let go of each other, then we know how to be happy. This is why, again, Buddhists are happy, because they can let go of some of these things which happen in life which other people think are sad and terrible. Buddhists know many, many times you’ve lived, you’ve been here, done that so many times. We enjoy each other’s company and then we go again, be terrible if we were the same person forever, never and ever. Variety is a spice of life. And not trying to say sort of keep changing your partners, but next lifetime, maybe. Who knows? But what we’re actually saying there is that we don’t take these causes for suffering and causes for pain, which people usually do in the world, as huge problems anymore. There’s another way of looking at it, and Buddhism gave that other way, called letting go. A lot of times it’s because our thought becomes so narrow minded, so conditioned, always thinking in the same way. That’s why when somebody dies oh, isn’t it sad? Or sometimes that when people fall in love. Isn’t it happy when a baby is born? Oh, congratulations. We got our cultural conditioning here. But if you think about it, what does a baby do when it’s born? It cries. And all the relations are laughing. When somebody dies, you can see them smiling and everyone else is crying. We get it the wrong way around every time. Sure. The person is actually being born or dying. They should know, though the point is here that some of our cultural conditioning is not all that helpful and that’s all it actually is, is cultural conditioning. And Buddhists have actually tried to stop that conditioning, stopping it through mindfulness, just seeing what’s going on. It’s marvelous is whenever you have a problem in your life. Actually, instead of looking at the problem outside, look at the person who s reacting to this problem. Look at what’s going on inside of you when somebody s dying or when there’s sickness or when there’s a loss. What’s actually going on inside, not what’s going on outside. Because the problem is that when there’s any tragedy in life, it’s always is. We focus outside of ourself. Oh, that poor thing. Oh, my stock. My stocks have gone down. I’ve lost money. What’s happening actually inside is more important to see. We actually start seeing what’s inside, which is what mindfulness is supposed to do, what contemplation is supposed to do. See some of the silly ways we react to these things and just how we allow these things to create suffering in our mind. It’s big deal. You get money, you lose money. Sickness and health, life and death, the dualities of the world. They come and they go. That’s why part of Buddhism is like just the impermanence. That teaching of the emperor’s ring, which is a powerful teaching. Don’t mind how many times I’ve pete it, because I practiced that myself. The emperor was always getting depressed when things went wrong. Always having parties when things were going right because he got depressed. He would sulk and stay in his room because when things were going well, he’d always hold parties. He never did any work, but. Because of that, the kingdom got worse and worse. And so the ministers met together. How can we teach this young emperor to be wise so he can run a good kingdom? And all they did was give him a ring. A gold ring. But on the outside of that ring were inscribed the words this too will pass. That’s all. So when things were going well in the kingdom, he’d look at a ring. This too will pass. You can’t take it for granted. So he worked even harder. Even when things were going well, he couldn’t afford to have parties all the time because he knew that the good times would pass. They were unstable. They needed work to keep them going longer. And he gave it that work. Now, all your relationships, have you got a good relationship with your partner? That too will pass. Because you know that you put more care, more attention, more effort into your relationship. Because you can’t take it for granted. Are you healthy? Have you got sickness? Remember, this too will pass. So if you’re in good health, look after that. You put effort and care into your health. Because it’s of the nature to get sick. You’ll look after it. You don’t take it for granted. And your life, this too will pass us. So look after this life of yours. Make sure it’s rich. Rich in goodness. Rich in those sorts of things which we talk about at funerals. The goodness, the care, the love of a person. Because this too will pass. And when you’re sick you know that story with Jagan Cha? When I was sick in hospital in Thailand, first time I was sick with typhus fever there about three or four weeks. Couldn’t find out what was wrong with me at first. Then later, what we found out was typhus. You know what it’s like in a third world country in a backwater a third world country in a hospital ward. My first memory of that ward was at 06:00 in the evening. The nurse went after 07:00. Still, the nurse night nurse hadn’t come. So I turned around to the mud sitting in the next bed. When’s the night nurse coming? Should we try and tell someone? The nurse hasn’t turned up. What do you mean night nurse? There ain’t no night nurses here. If you get sick at the middle of the night, that’s just bad karma. And. Thank you very much. And I had this terrible fever week after week. And then Adjourned Char came to visit me. My teacher, this great monk, came to visit little me. I was only a young monk, a baby monk. He s such an important big monk. And he came to see me. Know what it s like when these people come and see you? And I felt so elated for about 1 minute. Because when Ajad Shah came in, you know what he said? He said, Brahma Wang, so you’re either going to get better or you’re going to die. And then he left. Thank you very much. But just how true. That way he didn’t sort of mess around. He just told it as it is. How can you make fault with that? That’s true. Whenever you get sick, it’s not going to last. This too will pass. So you don’t have to worry about being sick. Because it’s either going to die, you’re going to get better. One of the two. So what? It means the pain is not going to last forever. The weakness this is what I mean by this too will pass. So no matter what’s happening, if you’re in grief or whatever, it will pass. Don’t have to worry about it. If you’re depressed, you’re in depression. Don’t worry about it. All pass. Just see how long you can be depressed for. See if you can beat your record, keep notes. See if you can be depressed for longer than you did last time. All you’re doing there is when you’re actually saying that to see how long you be depressed for. It’s reminding you that it won’t last forever. This is trouble with depression or sickness. When you it’s got no end to it, then you can’t handle it any longer and that really becomes suffering. When you know it’s going to end, then you know it’s tolerable. This is actually why when we realize that things will pass, whether it’s sickness, disappointment or whatever, we can actually handle it. It makes much greater happiness. When we know it’s going to pass, we’re letting go. So this is actually why Buddhists are happier than other people. Because we can let go. It will pass. Doesn’t matter what happens. When I first became the Advert of the Monastery in certain time, I made this resolution. I thought, well, it doesn’t really matter if I do really well, then that’s great and can help a lot of people. But it’ll be even better if I really stuff up and make a mess of things because then people can leave me alone. I can become a hermit. That’s even better. It’s always a win win situation. That’s always in life it’s a win win situation if you know the dumber. Doesn’t matter what happens if if I die tomorrow, it’s great, be a peace at last. If I don’t die, then I can actually work harder and do more good karma for other people. Either way, it’s a win win situation. So this is actually just a different way of looking at things in life. If your husband leaves you and. Then it’s a win situation. You can go off and become a nun. It’s so hard with a husband over there because you go look after them and all this sort of stuff. So it’s always a win win situation. If they don’t leave you, then you got a nice companion for your old age. So on to work and pay the rent. So it’s always a win win situation. So looking at the positive side of life and why not? Why is it that human beings, we always tend to look at the negative side of life? There is a positive side there. So have a look at it and incorporate that into your life. What is said in that little essay there about seeing the beauty in things? That’s why it’s so hard for as a monk to get angry at other people, because there’s so much beauty in other people. I ain’t get angry at them for doing things like that. Can I see this stupidity of some of the monks in the monastery? Because I saw myself I used to be even worse than that when I was a young monk. So how can you be sort of critical of others and get angry at others? You just can’t do it because you see the beauty of other people. In Mahayana Buddhism we see that the Buddha nature and now this. How can you be angry at Saddam Hussein? You can see the good side in him. How can you be angry at Adolf Hitler? Can you as a monk? It’s just so hard because you see the goodness in each person. Sure, they got some badness in there, some silly things they do, but you see so much goodness inside of them, so much potential for goodness. That’s why you can’t get angry at them. You know that story which I been telling people about the entire land during the Vietnam War when there was the insurgency there and where they solved that insurgency by giving amnesty, giving forgiveness. And I told that story in Sydney just about a month ago. And in that story, I say the nonviolence. So the Thai soldiers never went and blow up the communists, the insurgents, these were communists inside the country. Thai people number two. They tried to address the real problem by looking after the countryside. Making it sort of prosperous. And number three, they had this forgiveness amnesty. Any of these communist guerrillas terrorists, internal terrorists who were blowing up soldiers, torturing monks, some of the forest monks got captured and actually tortured to death. They had this amnesty. Whenever you wanted to give yourself up, you can go back to your village, go back to your university, wherever. And so eventually all the communists gave themselves up and they were just completely forgiven. And the point came when the leaders of the Communist army gave themselves up. And I told you the story before, you may remember, that they got given good jobs in the Thai government service. That’s as far as I knew. I told that story in Sydney. The Thai consul stood up and asked a question. It wasn’t a question, he said. It’s a very interesting story. They wanted to add an agenda to it. He said, Two of those leaders of the communists. They were given good jobs in the civil servants, civil service. And those two of them are presently ministers in the Thai government. One a very senior minister. I was so impressed. These were people who would normally be actually put in front of a wall and shot dead or they’d be put in jails to rot for the rest of their life or hung for war crimes. They were given forgiveness and they had their chance to use their abilities, organizing abilities, their commitment to a cause for the government. Beautiful sort of strategy. And the Thai government took them in and actually made them work for the Thai people. And now they are actually ministers in the government. Ex communist guerrillas who are trying to overturn the government are now working for it. What I mean about forgiveness, that’s Buddhist attitudes. Isn’t that a wonderful use of our resources? That’s why you can see the good in everybody. There’s potential there. So we can actually change the world by not wasting the great resources, but by turning them into good resources. That’s why I can’t get angry at people, see the Buddha nature, the goodness in everybody. This is actually why you can be happy. So these are many, many little pointers here. Different ideas of actually creating happiness in one’s life, seeing beauty in everything, beauty and sickness, beauty and death, beauty in many things. That’s why Buddhists are happy. And it’s been proven. And there we go. So if you want to be happy, this is the place to come, what I usually call Happy Hour at Dhamaloka Buddhist Center. So thank you for coming to Happy Hour and may you all get happier and happy and happier. So thank you for listening to why Buddhists are Happy.

Kamma and Rebirth | Ajahn Brahm

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Kamma and Rebirth | Ajahn Brahm







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Rebirth can happen into any realm or form, including those which are considered undesirable in human society. In deep meditation you can recall memories from your past lives. This can prove rebirth is a fact. Some people’s character traits come from their past lives, which they can’t remember. The law of karma and rebirth explains how people can come from different species in rebirth, and there’s not that much difference between human beings and some of the other higher animals. In Buddhism, karma is the texture of our lives. The good karma we create in this life carries on to the next life. Karma is the result of your actions in past lives and it can be a source of suffering or happiness, depending on how you use it.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 24th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Buddhist Attitude to Death | Ajahn Brahm

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Buddhist Attitude to Death | Ajahn Brahm







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The mind can leave the body, and in death, consciousness survives. There doesn’t seem to be a set amount of time it takes to rebirth, as it depends on our general attitude and certain actions that we may have taken while alive. The Buddhist attitude to death and dying is different to our Western perspective because it’s based on acceptance of what is happening, rather than grieving and feeling pain. Suicide is never the answer. We are reborn in similar lives because of attachments to things such as love, craving, or guilt.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 10th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Meditation and the Mind | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Meditation and the Mind | Ajahn Brahm







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This talk is about how meditation can give you lots of happiness and bliss. When we suffer mental pain, we can’t break through it with physical pain. However, the mental pain can be overcome through wisdom. The nature of the mind is to be happy, peaceful, wise and kind. Meditation helps to develop this mind. The development of the mind can give you so many benefits, such as peace, ease, and a lack of stress in life.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 10th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Enlightenment | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Enlightenment | Ajahn Brahm







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Meditation is the path to enlightenment. Enlightenment is a state of mind where you no longer measure yourself against others, and you find inner peace. Enlightenment is the state of finally understanding the answers to life’s big questions. It’s possible for everyone, and it’s a part of the Buddhist path. This talk is about the Buddha’s enlightenment and how to find out the truth about happiness and the way to achieve it.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 9th May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

History of Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm

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History of Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm







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The Buddha taught that meditation is a way to gain Insight into the nature of our mind and to overcome our sufferings. Buddhism is a tolerant religion that has never fought a war in its name. When Buddhism spread, it created three great traditions which have a lot of similarities. Practices and customs vary significantly among Buddhist traditions, but the teachings are fundamentally the same. Buddhism developed organically and each community depended upon its own goodness.. The Buddha’s awakening came about through his experiences in a previous life and his practice of contemplation under a tree, leading him to understand the nature of the world himself. In Buddhism, enlightenment is happiness, and the only way to achieve it is to practice meditation and live a simple life dedicated to the true realization of truth. The history of Buddhism starts 2600 years ago with the birth of the person who became our present Buddha. Buddhism is based upon teachings such as reincarnation and the law of karma. After the Buddha died, his teachings were organized and memorized by monks in order to be passed down and conserved. The Buddha’s teachings still have a deep meaning to Buddhists today.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 3rd May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Origins of Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Origins of Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm







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This talk is about the Origins of Buddhism.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 2nd May 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Compassion | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Compassion | Ajahn Brahm







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Compassion is essential to overcoming loneliness. Compassion is a disposition towards life that can change whether it’s enemies into friends. Compassion is wishing well for somebody or something. It can be an impersonal emotion. You can be at peace with life by practicing compassion and kindness. Saying there’s something wrong with me, being sick, makes you feel worse. But when you have compassion for why and what sickness is, it becomes less of a problem.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 11th April 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Compassion | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Compassion | Ajahn Brahm







/

Compassion is essential to overcoming loneliness. Compassion is a disposition towards life that can change whether it’s enemies into friends. Compassion is wishing well for somebody or something. It can be an impersonal emotion. You can be at peace with life by practicing compassion and kindness. Saying there’s something wrong with me, being sick, makes you feel worse. But when you have compassion for why and what sickness is, it becomes less of a problem.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 11th April 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia under the Creative Commons licence. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Fear | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Fear | Ajahn Brahm







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Fear can create sickness and death. Fear creates a narrow state of awareness and can create the world you think exists. Focusing on the bad bricks in the wall instead of the good bricks can lead to irrational thoughts and behaviors. Our minds can create sickness, death, and fear. Fear can be dangerous. To overcome fear, we need to focus on the good, the positive, and the rational. When you’re afraid, that’s what happens. The same technique to children who are doing exams is to look at it as a game. When you put fun and happiness into what you’re doing, it brings up energy, which helps you do well. Fear exaggerates reality, cramps our mind, and makes us achieve what we’re afraid of. So the first step in overcoming fear is recognising that fearful thoughts is all that is happening. And the second step is knowing how to breathe and relax so that fear doesn’t have the control. So that we can be free from fear.

How to be free from fear begins with paying attention.When we pay attention, when we become aware, we see what’s really happening. And then we can respond in a way which isn’t based on fear. Breathing and relaxation is one way to do that. When we breathe and relax, we release the fear. We also release the thoughts which are based on fear. And as we release the thoughts, we also release the feelings which are based on fear. And as we release the feelings, we also release the energy which is based on fear.So the more we pay attention to what’s happening, to our breaths and our relaxations, the more we can release the fear and the more we can be free.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 4th April 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Grief | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Grief | Ajahn Brahm







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When things go wrong in life, it’s a chance to show the beauty of the heart. Take the time to cherish life and to learn from the experiences that we have in life. Grief is a feeling of sadness or regret in response to something bad that’s happened. As Buddhists we can challenge all the conditioned responses we have to events in our life, and see them as positive opportunities for growth. Things can go wrong at any time, and in order to cope with such a situation, it’s important to allow ourselves to be human and to think positively. Grief is part of life. It’s not just something you experience when somebody we love dies. It can be a lack of hope, a loss of dreams. It can be a feeling of being a victim.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 7th March 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

The Way of Meditation | Ajahn Brahm

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The Way of Meditation | Ajahn Brahm







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In silence, you find inner peace and wisdom. Meditation is a central part of Buddhist teachings, teaching people to find out truths for themselves and to find ways to cope with the challenges of life. Meditation is about having insight into the big picture, about understanding and realizing the truths of life for yourself. When you become one pointed in time and focus in on the silence, you have all the time in the world because you’re free from measuring time in a point you can’t measure. Too much happiness in life is based on things which are unreliable and could change at any time, so it’s not really happiness. True happiness comes from within – unconditional happiness. Delusion is thinking things we take to be real are actually not real. When we meditate we often go into the center of things to find the origin of things. In meditation, you will get deep bliss, and the ebbs and flows of that bliss will allow you to explore your mind deeply. You may get memories of past lives, as well as a deep understanding of the law of karma. Buddhist meditation leads to enlightenment and a better understanding of the law of karma. You don’t need to spend a lot of time in deep meditation to experience past lives, but you do need to still be present and have power over your mind to ask about them. The point is that if we don’t know what timelessness is, then we’ve got no perspective of this thing which we call time. And when we’ve got no perspective, we get ruled by time. Getting other perspectives and going into timelessness provides that other perspective, then when we go back into the time world, we see it in a completely different way.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 14th February 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Loving Kindness Meditation | Ajahn Brahm

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Loving Kindness Meditation | Ajahn Brahm







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Measurement is how we get into control and lose our perception of love. Buddhism teaches us to stop measuring so we can love. Judging and measuring creates control and ill will, which keeps us from experiencing love. Don’t measure others; stop trying to control them. Learn how to be at peace with yourself and with life. The opposite of love is hatred and control. Lovingkindness transcends good and bad, right and wrong, to embrace and let go. When we’re at peace with life, we’re at peace with the world. Then we can forgive and accept things as they are. Buddhism teaches that there is no such thing as evil, only stupidity. This is a different way of looking at the world which requires a paradigm shift in our thinking. Lovingkindness is a difficult emotion to understand because it is different than the idea of justice, which is just right and wrong. It is more about forgiving and looking at things from a larger perspective. Lovingkindness is a shift in the way we look at life and it teaches us that all rights have to be wrongs, and all wrongs have to be rights, and that we can’t judge people or try to right wrongs.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 31st March 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Help | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Help | Ajahn Brahm







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Buddhism can offer help in coping with the challenges of life, including illness and death. Sometimes we can help other people with our wisdom, with our Dharma. Sometimes in helping others, we take away their power and independence, which isn’t always in their best interest. It’s important to remember that when one helps others, they need to be act out of wisdom, out of love, and not out of fear. This talk is on principles of giving help, looking after, and serving other people, and it is part of being wise in our compassion. You can compassionately serve others in the world by giving them the means to be at peace. Sensitivity to the needs of the other person is a difficult quality to develop, but it is essential for creating a sense of community.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 31st March 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans. If you like the Ajahn Brahm Podcast, you may also like the Treasure Mountain Podcast and / or the Forest Path Podcast which are also produced by the Everyday Dhamma Network.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

The Mundane and the Supramundane | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
The Mundane and the Supramundane | Ajahn Brahm







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Buddhism teaches us to solve world problems through our wisdom and compassion. Hatred doesn’t lead to peace, violence doesn’t lead to peace. This talk is about the mundane and the super mundane, the world and what lies beyond. It explores what real freedom is and what the fake freedom is. Meditation helps us to feel life more deeply, to understand it instead of describing it in words. Books, discussions, and descriptions of life only serve to make us spiritually hungry. In the practice of meditation, quietness leads to the discovery of the supramundane. When you let go of the past and future and enter the present moment, the cosmos also stands still and you can feel deep ecstasies. The Buddha talked about bliss, the citta, and the supramundane. He said that when you go into deep meditation, you go to a world beyond sight, beyond sound, beyond smell, beyond taste, and beyond physical touch. This is the stairway which leads you out of the mundane and into the super mundane. Once you’ve climbed up that pyramid, the world looks completely different and feels just nothing like the way it does in the world.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 10th January 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Arguments | Ajahn Brahm

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Arguments | Ajahn Brahm







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Judging other people can get you into a cycle of depression and negativity. Insisting on rightness is delusional and can lead to violence. We can learn to cooperate in our family, workplace, or in our relationships instead of always competing or trying to be right. Don’t get stressed about arguments. Just investigate that stress and see if it’s stemming from some depersonalization or dissatisfaction with our mind states. Arguments can be painful and can have consequences, usually bad, but understanding the anatomy of arguments can help lessen them. We always see the world the way we want to see it, based on our views. When we have a strong opinion, it’s difficult to see things objectively. In the story, two monks argued about whether reincarnation is essential to Buddhism. One argued that it is, while the other said it can’t be because the present moment is all there is. When they both argued their position to the master, they both realized that their arguments depended on their perspective and that there is no right or wrong answer.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 10th January 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Good and Evil in the World | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Good and Evil in the World | Ajahn Brahm







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Buddhism says that sometimes people die young because of their karma, sometimes people become millionaires because of their karma, and sometimes people get sick because of their karma. This talk is about good and evil cloning and how to solve the world’s problems. Karma is the cause and effect of your actions, so don’t blame others for the situation you’re in. You can do something about it right now. There is no one answer to the question of who is the happiest person in the world. Everyone’s happiness is unique and depends on their own individual circumstances. However, some general things that may contribute to happiness include having good relationships with others, having meaningful work, and having a sense of purpose in life. Sometimes we look at the inequalities in the world and perceive them as being unfair. But is it really unjust after all? Instead, we can see that these things are just a result of karma from the past, and that we have a lot of opportunities to grow and learn compassion, wisdom and endurance if we make use of the situations we are in.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 3rd January 2003. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Buddha Nature | Ajahn Brahm

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Buddha Nature | Ajahn Brahm







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Jokes can be a way to heal and learn from traumatic experiences. Old age, sickness, and death can teach us valuable lessons in life, and they can be viewed as Buddha nature. Peace and goodwill towards all beings is a central message of Christianity. People come to teachers for guidance, not to be lectured to. Stay true to your beliefs and help those in need, no matter what their beliefs. The Buddha said that the things we experience in our life, such as being praised or blamed, have Buddha nature. We can see that these experiences have no personal meaning, and are just part of our journey towards awakening. Sickness, disease, aging, death, are all teachers which help us learn about non-self.

You can find the text transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size (because internet connections were slow back then – remember dialup?) on 27th December 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Teachers From Hell | Ajahn Brahm

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Teachers From Hell | Ajahn Brahm







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The Buddha’s teachings can help you change your attitude and stop suffering. When encountering a problem in life, focus on learning from it, not exterminating the problem. Check your expectations and take on board that everything is a teaching opportunity. Sometimes people try to abuse you in order to upset you, but don’t let them succeed. Just be peaceful and aware of what is happening and you’ll be fine. The Buddha’s teachings on how to deal with pain, discomfort, and difficulties in life remain relevant to today’s world. When confronted with difficulties, remember to do nothing and focus on your mental state.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size on 29th November 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm







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Mindfulness is having a guard on your mind and remembering what you are supposed to be doing. To be mindful, instruct your gatekeeper what to do in order to keep negativity out of your mind. Mindfulness can help you stop being angry, because you become more alert to what’s happening inside. Mindfulness is the ability to know and be aware. It’s developed through different degrees of efforts and attentiveness. It allows for more connectivity with the physical body and the environment. Four main focuses of mindfulness are The Body, The Feelings, The Mind, and The Consciousness. Mindfulness can help reveal hidden stresses and health problems that may have been ignored. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment, which allows you to experience energies and insights you wouldn’t otherwise be able to see. Focusing mindfulness can lead to enlightenment.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size on 1st November 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Origins | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Origins | Ajahn Brahm







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To find out the origins of your consciousness of mind, you can test it out and find out where you come from. The mind is the biggest thing in the world because it can see everything and everything can fit in the mind. An origins talk is beneficial for many reasons, including that it reminds us of the importance of the mind. Mind is comprised of delusion, craving and ignorance. The way we understand and experience the world is based on these three factors. The Buddha said that life is a process in action and that one can’t say there is absolutely nothing because the process of arising is seen. When you watch or experience anything, be aware of the six senses and how they work to create your experience. The lotus at night closes up to protect its petals from the sun, but when the first rays of the sun reach the outer petal, it warms up and the petals open. This is analogous to stillness of mind, which opens up layer by layer to see things as they truly are. When you achieve full enlightenment, you reach the jewel in the heart of the lotus: emptiness.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size on 25th October 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Dead Loss | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Dead Loss | Ajahn Brahm







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Ajahn Brahm gives a talk about how to deal with loss and the death of loved ones.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size on 18th October 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

Enlightenment is the Highest Happiness | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Enlightenment is the Highest Happiness | Ajahn Brahm







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Happiness means being good, and the benefits of being good are immense. Allow other people to be kind to you and it will make you happy. Happiness comes when we give without expecting anything in return, and it’s one of the first ways to develop in our lives. Happiness is found by letting go and learning how to meditate. Enlightenment is the ultimate happiness. Sleep well at night by remembering the good things you’ve done, rather than the bad. Keep the precepts of not hurting others and yourself. When we reach out for happiness, we usually end up getting disappointment, frustration, despair, and grief. Enlightenment is the highest form of happiness, and it’s achievable even if you’re not wealthy. You don’t have to wait until you retire to be happy. Just don’t do anything and you’ll get into deep meditation and eventually realize some of the teachings of Buddha. This is why meditation is not only the easiest thing to do, but the most fun thing to do.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded using a low quality MP3 to save on file size on 26th July 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

Freedom | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Freedom | Ajahn Brahm







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Keeping precepts gives you freedom from worry, anxiety and other negative qualities. In meditation, the more you try and control, the worse the meditation gets. The deeper you go in meditation, the more still and silent it becomes, until you find freedom from desires. Keep moral precepts in your life to feel freedom. Freedom is being where you want to be, not where someone else wants you to be.If you’re not happy in your life, it’s probably because you’re following the wrong path. When you’re sick, you’re given the advantage or the opportunity to other people to care for you. That’s why it’s nice to be sick sometimes. So that if you want to be sick, then you’re not imprisoned by your ill health. It doesn’t feel confining to you. It’s not a huge problem anymore. You can be sick and still feel free. When you have that feeling of freedom there with your sickness, you don’t mind it being there.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 12th July 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Six Months of Bliss | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Six Months of Bliss | Ajahn Brahm







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In the first half of 2002 Ajahn Brahm spent six months on a silent meditation retreat in his hut. He didn’t speak to anyone – not a single word. He just spent time meditating. The result was six months of bliss. In this talk Ajahn Brahm speaks quite openly about the experience and encourages us all to find bliss within.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 28th June 2002. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Mindfulness of the Body | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Mindfulness of the Body | Ajahn Brahm







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Boredom can be overcome with practice in understanding bodily sensations. People are always looking for things to do because they don’t know how to do nothing, but peace is more important than anything. The practice of mindfulness is focused on the body in order to free the mind, develop wisdom, and create peace in life. Focus on the body to overcome anger and frustration. The talk was on mindfulness of the body and the harm that negative emotions do to the body. In Buddhism, forgiveness is a very important response to any conflict. It stops revenge and helps to repair the damage that has been done. You can’t keep anger going because the feelings associated with anger are unpleasant and you can’t stay focused on those feelings for very long without noticing how harmful they are to your physical health. When we focus on the body, we come to a truth which we cannot deny. The best of these emotions, such as peace, can start to get us to value our present moment more, and to live in a way which is more fulfilling.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website. Click here for the episode on the Trickery of Perception.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 7th December 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

The Trickery of Perception | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
The Trickery of Perception | Ajahn Brahm







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When you change your perception, you can find the end of all suffering inside yourself. The perception we have of ourselves and others often limits us and leads to suffering. Perceptions matter, and they can be limiting. Whenever you get a project to do, just do it. Don’t think about it. Whenever it’s time to meditate, just meditate. Don’t think about it. Whatever you happen to do in life, when it’s time to die, do it. Stop thinking about it. Meditation is a practice of transforming our pathological perceptions of the world. When we understand this, we can create new, healthier perceptions which will free us from suffering.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website. Click here for the episode on the Trickery of Perception.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 30th November 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Pseudo Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Pseudo Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm







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Ajahn Brahm gives a talk about what is real Buddhism, as opposed to what is just faddish, pseudo-Buddhism.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 9th December 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm







/

Buddhism’s practice of mindfulness can help us in our daily lives, our spiritual lives, and our relationships. Buddhism teaches that it’s important to be mindful in our daily lives and in our spiritual lives. Being mindful can help to increase our happiness and understanding. Mindfulness can help you be more alert and less reactive to things, which can help you feel happier and more productive. When you increase your mindfulness, you become more sensitive to the beauty and vibrancy of life. Make good karma, and you’ll get good results. Doing good for others will brighten your mind and energize your practice. Mindfulness gives you better abilities in life, for everything. It enhances your work skills, your ability to succeed in life, your ability to sense what’s happening and your ability to communicate with other people. In order to be enlightened, you need to have strong mindfulness and energy. Mindfulness makes the mind bright, while energy powers the mind to do incredible things. When you develop mindfulness, you will be able to shine a light into the darkness of your mind and see what needs to be done.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 2nd November 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Buddhism and Science | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Buddhism and Science | Ajahn Brahm







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Buddhism and science can be balanced and used for good in our lives. Dogmatism leads to suffering, especially when it prevents you from seeing reality. Buddhism and science are complementary and interdependent, and are growing in popularity due to their combined successes in solving problems. Buddhism teaches that one must check experience against theories in order to determine whether something is true or not. It also teaches that there is no “self” or soul, and that the mind is responsible for our happiness and suffering.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 19th October 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

Humility | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Humility | Ajahn Brahm







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Sometimes pain and suffering are an opportunity for us to grow and learn. When you criticize yourself, you inhibit your ability to succeed. Praise uplifts people and has a positive effect on relationships. The power of precepts lie in the fact that when we are guided by them, the mind moves in the direction of truth and calmness. Charles Martin spoke on the topic of humility and how it can be attained. He discussed the importance of virtuous conduct and how samatha (tranquility) can also be a contributing factor.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 12th October 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Buddhist Approach to World Conflict | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Buddhist Approach to World Conflict | Ajahn Brahm







/

Conflicts come from a sense of injustice and injustice comes from a sense of karma. Start learning to accept life as it is and not what we want it to be. The law of karma tells us that we always get what we deserve, which often results in feelings of injustice. When we take control of our destiny, these feelings of injustice dissipate. There is karmic rebound in the form of regret and guilt, which can lead to even more disharmony and anger. We learn from our mistakes and try not to punish ourselves. Focusing on the faults of others can lead to conflict, but focusing on our own faults can also lead to conflict. We should try to focus on the good in others and ourselves to create a more peaceful world.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 5th October 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

What is love? | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
What is love? | Ajahn Brahm







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The first type of love we hear all about in our culture is romantic love, which involves an infatuation with one person. The second type of love is a detached love which is greater because it allows you to be at peace with separation, with death and with all the bad things that life can bring. In the loving-kindness meditation, you open the door to the present moment, to silence, and to the emptiness that allows you to connect with everything. It’s a love which is happy to let the other person go. Buddhist love is a type of love that relieves people from suffering. It is a type of love that is selfless and detached. It is a type of love that grows over time. What is love at a Buddhist Perspective? Love is often misunderstood and mistrusted. It can be a very dangerous thing when it’s based on ownership or attachment. In Buddhism, love is based on the simple principle of wanting someone to be happy. And the third type of love is the power of emptiness, the power of nothing. This is why all the great beings which I have met in my life, these are all monks who have that type of love.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 20th July 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Rebirth | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Rebirth | Ajahn Brahm







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Rebirth is a very useful way to review our life, to reflect on our relationships, and to gain perspective on what is important. This talk is about how deep, beautiful meditation can reveal the truth of things, and also how deep, beautiful meditation can be fun. Rebirth is a reality which can be found out for yourself through the practice of meditation. Ordinary memory is unreliable, real memory through meditation is true. Regarding rebirth, we gain a solid ground for being good and responsible, and take long term perspective on the trials and tribulations of one life in comparison to the trials and tribulations of one year in school or one year in the office.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 13th July 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Renunciation | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Renunciation | Ajahn Brahm







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 When we let go of things, we find freedom and happiness. Renouncing simplifies life and makes more time for things that are important. Renouncing things brings joy, understanding, and freedom. In order to live a simple life and achieve enlightenment, Buddhist traditions emphasize the need for renunciation. Meditation is a practice that can help you deal with your emotions, renounce your attachments to your body, and experience peace and freedom before death. Becoming a monk or nun freed you from your desires, allows you to connect with people more easily, and give you a sense of inner peace and strength. 

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 6th July 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

What to do with suffering? | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
What to do with suffering? | Ajahn Brahm







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 Happiness is the gap between two moments of suffering. Suffering is the gap between two moments of happiness. How do you deal with suffering in life? Accept it and learn from it. Suffering is part of life, but it’s also an opportunity to learn and grow. When someone says something we don’t like, don’t carry it around being crazy. Let go. Suffering happens. It’s in the world, but it will pass. Sit down and have a cup of tea to keep your energies ready for when things change. 

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 29th June 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Why is Buddhism Growing? | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Why is Buddhism Growing? | Ajahn Brahm







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Meditation is a way to let go of things that are keeping you from getting to know yourself better, like your emotions and your thoughts. Meditation makes you happy because it leads to wisdom and peace. This is why Buddhism is spreading in the world: because it is a truth that resonates with people on many levels. Buddhism is a way to free yourself from the suffering of this world. It’s a path to liberation. Buddhism is growing due to its teaching that comes from people’s experiences, rather than scriptures or theories. Buddhism is growing in the world because it offers a happiness which surpasses this world. It’s these beautiful things, the ending of things, the ending of suffering, the ending of problems, the freedom in the heart, the freedom in the mind, the bliss and the joy which make it so popular.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 22nd June 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

 

Conflict Resolution | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Conflict Resolution | Ajahn Brahm







/

Conflict can arises from memory being uncertain. Arguments can break up relationships, friendships and cause suffering. When we argue, we often forget that what’s important is living in harmony together. Chicken or duck? What’s important is the friendship and harmony and love and care and the working together. Arguments can be helpful to have in our lives in order to understand each other better, but when they turn into fights, they’re not constructive. Spiritual practice means pointing out that it’s more important to focus on loving kindness and peace.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 8th June 2001. It has now been remastered and published by the Everyday Dhamma Network, and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Contentment | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Contentment | Ajahn Brahm







/

Meditation teaches you how to be still and to get more energy. Contentment is knowing that you’ve done all that you need to do and that you can now rest. Contentment is the highest wealth, and learning to be content every now and again is a way to reach peace in your life. When you get close to a beautiful breath, you can actually do nothing to it. It becomes effortless. You can relax and allow the beautiful breath to happen. If you’re trying hard to meditate, you’re not doing it right. All you need to do is be content, and the breath will come all by itself.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 20th October 2001. It has now been remastered and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Who Am I? | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Who Am I? | Ajahn Brahm







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The five aggregates is a Buddhist teaching on the nature of mind which points out that there is nothing substantial to consciousness or our self-view. Understanding this is key to freedom. In this talk, I’m going to talk about the five aggregates: body, mind, feeling, perception, and mental formations. When you realize that you are not your body, things start to get simple. As far as worrying about your appearance, old age, sickness, and death, these things don’t matter because you know you are not this body. You’re just a mind. The six senses are beauty and ugliness, pleasure and pain, praise and blame, nice sounds and rotten sounds, and mind happiness and mind suffering. These are all inseparable, and you cannot have just one without the other.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 27th April 2001. It has now been remastered and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.

Faith | Ajahn Brahm

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Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Faith | Ajahn Brahm







/

Having faith in the practice will help you to relax in meditation When you have faith in the goodness of another person, you can forgive them. Faith is trust and confidence in something, leading to a sense of security and comfort. It’s one of the symptoms of our modern age that people have faith in very little. Develop a strong confidence in yourself and your ability to succeed. This will lead to increased energy and focus, which will help you achieve any goal.

This dhamma talk was originally recorded on cassette tape on 30th April 1999. It has now been remastered but the quality is still a bit scratchy. But the content is classic Ajahn Brahm and will be of interest to his many fans.

You can find the transcription and other related information on the Ajahn Brahm Podcast website.

These talks by Ajahn Brahm have been recorded and made available for free distribution by the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. You can support the Buddhist Society of Western Australia by pledging your support via their Patreon page.